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creole54

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Posts: 9
Reply with quote  #1 
I had to have my precious baby, Daisy, put to sleep on Wednesday.  I'd never had a dog before in my life, and didn't understand how they can become such a huge part of your heart, your life and your identity.  I got Daisy as a puppy and we had 11 wonderful years together.  She was an english bulldog, and for her breed, 11 years is considered 'geriatric'.  I've known for many months that we didn't have a lot of time left together, and dreaded the day I knew was coming.  We were together 24/7 and I'm totally shattered at her loss.

I've lost both my parents, my husband and a sister and I can honestly say the loss of Daisy is every bit as debilitating as the loss of my other family members.

Here's one of the things I feel so bad about.  All my life I didn't understand the bond other people had with their dogs.  Whenever a co-worker or friend lost a pet I would offer some pat word of condolence, but was never as sympathetic as I could have been.  I DIDN'T KNOW.  I didn't know the depth of their grief and couldn't sympathize.  I didn't know how their lives were turned upside down and how their hearts were bleeding.  I didn't know that it wasn't 'just a dog'.  What a jerk I was.

Fortunately, I've had some friends and family members who do understand and have been checking on me to see if I'm ok.  And my neighbor even sent flowers (daisies, of course)...complete with 'In Loving Memory' card.  I guess the saving grace is that now I know and will be able to be more comforting and understanding when the terrible day comes for someone else.  In the meantime, I'm so sorry.


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Teri Milbourn
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danzey

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Posts: 472
Reply with quote  #2 
creole..........That happens (????)  So so lucky though, because you got to experience a love that had no conditions attached to it.  That doesn't exsist with people (only with animals).  Daisy loved you (just because) and you got the chance to love her for the same exact reason.........................danzey

p.s Consider dropping into the candle lighting on Mondays (all your friends are there)
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FClaire

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Posts: 120
Reply with quote  #3 
Quote:
Originally Posted by creole54
I had to have my precious baby, Daisy, put to sleep on Wednesday.  I'd never had a dog before in my life, and didn't understand how they can become such a huge part of your heart, your life and your identity.  I got Daisy as a puppy and we had 11 wonderful years together.  She was an english bulldog, and for her breed, 11 years is considered 'geriatric'.  I've known for many months that we didn't have a lot of time left together, and dreaded the day I knew was coming.  We were together 24/7 and I'm totally shattered at her loss.

I've lost both my parents, my husband and a sister and I can honestly say the loss of Daisy is every bit as debilitating as the loss of my other family members.

Here's one of the things I feel so bad about.  All my life I didn't understand the bond other people had with their dogs.  Whenever a co-worker or friend lost a pet I would offer some pat word of condolence, but was never as sympathetic as I could have been.  I DIDN'T KNOW.  I didn't know the depth of their grief and couldn't sympathize.  I didn't know how their lives were turned upside down and how their hearts were bleeding.  I didn't know that it wasn't 'just a dog'.  What a jerk I was.

Fortunately, I've had some friends and family members who do understand and have been checking on me to see if I'm ok.  And my neighbor even sent flowers (daisies, of course)...complete with 'In Loving Memory' card.  I guess the saving grace is that now I know and will be able to be more comforting and understanding when the terrible day comes for someone else.  In the meantime, I'm so sorry.

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FClaire

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Posts: 120
Reply with quote  #4 
I can so relate to you. We had to put our beautiful westie Ollie to sleep 10 days ago. I am totally heartbroken and just about functioning it's so hard. I was with him also 24/7 our lives revolved around him, he was the boss! He was also our first dog, originally for my daughter but he became my baby.
I too admittedly was one who wondered why people were so upset when they had lost their pets. I never understood it. By golly I do now, and I'm deeply sorry to those people and their beloved babies. I'm now around people who are like that towards me, I feel very lonely because they dont understand. But I'm trying to be calm and tell myself I was like that, so I understand xx
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pannklaus

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Posts: 305
Reply with quote  #5 
I am so sorry about the loss of your precious baby, Daisy.  Try not to burden yourself more with your past lack of understanding of how people feel when they lose a pet. You understand it now and you will be very supportive in the future of anyone in your  life who experiences such a loss.  With many experiences in life we don't know what it is like until we experience it ourselves.  

Your are with people now who do understand the deep grief, the sadness, the emptiness, the difficulty of going on after losing a fur baby who was loved.  If there are people in your life now who don't understand your experiences, you will be able to be forgiving of them.  And you can come to this group where you will always find those who are experiencing the same grief as you are and can support you as you go through the grieving process.

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Patsy
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creole54

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Posts: 9
Reply with quote  #6 
It's been a week now that my precious baby girl has been gone.  I've gone past the point of expecting to see her every time I turn around.  Now it's just a constant dull ache.  A squeezing of my heart, a choking feeling in my throat.  And such a great emptiness.  So empty.  I used to sing that old Helen Reddy song to her..You and Me Against the World, and those lyrics are killing me....

"And when one of us is gone
and one of us is left to carry on
Then remembering will have to do
Our memories alone will get us through.
Think about the days of me and you...
You and me against the world."

I hope my memories alone will get me through, because I don't know how I can face the rest of my life without her.

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Teri Milbourn
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Memories_of_Marmalade

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Posts: 580
Reply with quote  #7 


Hi Teri,

I can relate to your great sorrow and sentiment.

My cat and I had a very special bond. His name was "Marmalade." He used to sit on my lap and I would tell him (although he was almost completely deaf)(but he would look at me) and I would place my hand over my heart, and then gently place my hand over his heart, back and forth, back and forth and say: 

"You & me." "You & me." "You & me."

And I would smile at him. And he would purr and purr. I think he understood as we just became closer and closer over time.

I knew I did not have much time remaining with him his last year, so I also used to tell him:

"One day one of us may be gone, both of us may be gone, but RIGHT NOW, THIS OUR TIME together...this is OUR TIME."

We were grateful, we were content and we were blessed to have one another for the time that we were allotted. Just as you were very blessed to have your Daisy for the time that you did.

Hugs,
James
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