I am so sorry that you lost your dog Koka. Unfortunately many people don't understand the special bond we have with our pets. They are more than just animals; they are a huge part of our lives and when they are gone they leave a gaping whole in our hearts and a permanent change to life as we know it.
Grief comes in many forms and the stages that we go through are not linear and they have no timeline. It's different for everyone. You can go from feeling OK, to sadness, to anger back to feeling Ok again and the cycle will sometimes start over. Just know that it is normal and that all of us here on the forum have experienced or are experiencing the same thing so we can all empathize. Keep writing about your feelings on here because, at least for me, that has helped a lot. It's good to knowing you're not alone and can share with like minded people. I saw this posted online and it is so true. Grief is like the ocean, It comes in waves, Ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, Sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim. ~Vicki Harrison
"Grief only exists where love lived first."--Franchesca Cox