Sunday 7/23/17 was the day I lost my best friend.  My Tucker.  Goldendoodle that wasn't quite 4 years old.  Full of spunk and life and never without that big cheesy grin on his face.  Without realizing how hot it had gotten my wife decided to take him for a walk in the mid afternoon.  Where she had taken him was out in the foothills where there is no shade and she hadn't taken water.  She doesn't normally go on her walks or runs or anything like this during this time of the day and thought it would just be quick and wouldn't be a big deal. 

I got a phone call saying she was in trouble.  She was in fact fine.....Tucker was in trouble.  I packed up several water bottles and sped my way to them as quickly as I could.  By the time I reached them she had him on her shoulders carrying him.  He lifted his head to look at me when I was about 30 feet away running as fast as I could toward them.  When I reached them I put him on the ground and covered him with as much water as I had but he was already unconscious.  Within about 30 seconds or so he had stopped breathing.  I tried CPR as best as I could but it was too late.  He was gone and there was nothing I could do. 

I know in my heart that my wife would have never done anything to hurt Tucker or had she known what would end up happening she wouldn't have gone at all.  But I'm having such a hard time forgiving.  She LOVED him but it was such a careless mistake.   He was always an inside dog because he was a member of the family and if it was hot we only let him out long enough to go.  Why on earth would she have taken him out in those conditions?  It was over 100 degrees. 

It's only been a few days and I know time heals.  I just can't help but be so angry.  This didn't have to happen!!  My wife feels terrible for her misjudgment but we can't go back and change things now. 
Quote 0 0
I'm so sorry for the tragic loss of Tucker. There is always so much guilt when something happens and in this case I guess blame is a huge factor. You both loved Tucker. He kept up with that walk to show his human support and happiness because that's their job. Unfortunately he couldn't signal when he started to feel aweful.
My heart breaks for you both. You need to talk it out. It was an accident.
I'm so sorry for you loss
Quote 0 0
I'm so sorry to hear about your Tucker. We've had similar things happen in our family and its devastating because theres always blame involved. I'd be angry too if it had been one of my cats. I don't know if I could forgive the person but that's just me. Like William says it's best to talk it out. My heart goes out to you golden doodles are such cool dogs. Just take some time for yourself and then talk it over.
Hugs from Marie and the crew 🐾
Quote 0 0
I'm so sorry for your traumatic loss. Please don't blame your wife, I imagine she is suffering badly and will be forever upset over this. We took our Dobie to the dog trainer, and on his second visit he had a heart arrhythmia and fell over dead. It was my husbands idea to take him, and though it would be easy for me to blame him and say "if we hadn't taken him, he would still be here, it was too much for him!", I have no way of knowing if that is true. It likely would have happened no matter what, possibly when we weren't with him and he was alone and scared. There is just no way to know. He wanted to better Dobie's quality of life, so he could have more freedom. Your wife wanted Tucker to enjoy life, also. People make mistakes, and accidents happen. You need to be there for each other now, as this is a profound loss for both of you. I was closer to Dobie than anyone, he was my baby. Of the almost 9 years I had him, my husband has been here the last 5. But he was so upset I was almost surprised. I know Dobie meant the most to me, but please remember Tucker will be missed greatly by your wife, and guilt is a very hard thing to live with. I hope you find peace, I know that's what our pets want for us.
Quote 0 0
My profound thanks to those that responded.  Today I went to speak with a counselor to just.....talk.  I miss him.  I will continue to miss him.  But I know, day by day, the sadness will lessen and I will begin to focus on all the amazing moments we had with Tucker.  I know that my wife have never taken him if she'd know what the outcome would be.  She loved him just as much as I did.  The suffering comes from the lack of greetings at the door or the sidekick in the car or the way he would snuggle up to you in bed. 

A lot of people own dogs during the course of their lives, but sometimes there's a dog that comes along that touches you in a way that only that specific dog can.  They see you.  They choose you.  They protect and love you both physically and emotionally.  You are their human companion. 

I miss you buddy
Quote 1 0
Oh wow he's gorgeous! I know what you mean about an animal that you have a special connection with. I've had cats my entire life and my girl Raven was THE ONE. From the second I saw her as a tiny kitten I knew we had a bond. It was weird but even though she was my Easter gift, it was more like she chose me., that she was meant to be my cat before she was even born. She got me. She was there for me more than anyone else ever was. And when you lose someone that special it hurts more than you could ever imagine. Like you said the pain is in the little things like not being at the door to greet you or having them jump on the bed (Raven liked to "help" make the bed in the morning!) I'm glad you guys can work through the loss together. You both need each other right now.
Quote 0 0
I'm so sorry for your loss.....my bora choose me too...we bonded at our first meeting...he was not intended for me when he was bought...but he choose me. We were best friends from that day forward...9 yrs. Like you I had anger towards the person who had poor judgement and my baby was killed. Its been2 weeks. Like you I saw a therapist....the pain was over whelming. Anger, guilt, hurt. This forum and lots of prayer has helped me. I'm working through it...every day gets a little bit better. He will forever be my soulmate furry companion.....I love him.
I pray for peace and strength for you and your wife. To love a pet as we all do is a special gift. We have so much love to give....that's why they choose us.
Bless you for loving your Tucker so much.
Quote 0 0