bitgrn Show full post »
bitgrn
My feeling is anyone who posts on the forum is a good and loving animal owner, or you wouldn't be here. I am so grateful I found this forum because it does help me everyday. Please don't question if you were a good mom because from what I'm hearing, you were wonderful to Eddie. I don't question if I was a good mom to Casey just if I decided too soon to say goodbye. But as Evie said, if we had a crystal ball I would have done things differently. I'll never know if I would have had another day, week or month and that is the hardest part. I'm still crying and have wondered if I should go to grief counseling. This forum is helping me in that way also.  I'm just so confused.
Cathy
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winstonsmom12
Eddiesmom...Please accept my condelences on the loss of your Eddie.  I am also feeling so much guilt. I didn't have the money to get my Winston all the test that would have told me exactly what was wrong with him. I saw him visibly slowing down. He was near deaf and blind.  The last 5 days of his life...he was deterioating swiftly.  I didn't leave the house or his side.

Why was I so dammned blind? I have a ton of whys...I just couldn't bear to see him like that any longer. it was Him and I for 12 years.  I still have a bill with the Emergency Hospital I took him to twice.  I am slowly paying that off.  I still feel guilty and upset with myself for not having the money for testing. The Vet said she could see he was suffering the day I made my decision. Almost all of the time, I know I made the right decision.

But, I still have a lot of guilt, and a lot of why's? 
Susan
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Eddiesmom
Thanks for your kind words and understanding.  I agree, anyone here loves their pets more than most can understand so it's hard to see right now amidst the grief but at the end of the day I guess we all did what we thought was best.  You are right there is no crystal ball...oh wouldn't it be grand if there was.

Please don't beat yourself up about not having the money for the tests because, and I hate to say this but I think at the older age of the spectrum it is very hard for them to survive surgeries.  I don't know how old Eddie was as I rescued him 5 years and 3 months ago but he was at least 10 or 11 which is older for a 105lb dog....from everything I've read surgery is just hard on them so please don't think having surgery would have helped although I can certainly understand why you feel that way, I would too.  Eddie went thru tests, had surgery and still died. I guess whatever we do if it doesn't turn out right we think "what if".  I'm so sorry all of you, you all are so kind and it does help having such understanding fellow sufferers who LOVED their pets SO much and are having a very difficult time getting thru the sorry and grief.  


Sue E
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bitgrn
I picked my baby's ashes up last night...so bittersweet, but so glad she is back home with me. I miss her terribly and continue to wish she was still with me.
Cathy
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Rusty
Hi. First, I'm sorry to hear of your loss. You're not alone. My story is a bit similar. Sunday night my Bassett started barking and whimpering loudly. Her breathing was labored and she was making weird Moises too. We took her to the pet ER. They gave her a pain shot. 30minutes later, she could not use her back legs. Vet said I should send her to a neurologist up north. I really couldn't afford that. We carried her to the car and went home. They had no explanation as to why this happened. All night she was miserable. Her symptoms became worse. She was such a trooper but the pain and labored breathing made me do sad. She could not move. We tried to get her to go outside to pee, but her back legs were dead. Monday morning we took her to the vet. Carried her in a towel to the car. Vet said she suffered a bad reaction to the shot. He didn't think it would get better. I couldn't bare the thought of watching her in this horrible state. We sadly decided to put her to sleep. We kissed and hugged her aa she slipped away. I will never know what it how this happened but the guilt is there. I loved my Dixie more than words can say. So, I feel your pain. Take care.
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bitgrn
I am so sorry to hear this about your Dixie. I have thought about going on the internet to research why she had the reaction to the shot that she did but I'm afraid it will just cause me more pain and guilt. It is somewhat soothing to hear your ER vet said it was probably neurological since my vet said the same thing. I trust my vet so much but I didn't know if he was just telling me that to comfort me. My heart aches for your family and I will continue to check on you in the forum. Please keep posting.

Hugs
Cathy
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Joe
So sorry Cathy. As you can see, many of us here have feelings of guilt. Mine is thinking, the next day, of more questions I should have asked the vet. But with my Maggie, everything happened so fast, it was 4:30 in the morning, and I was pretty much in a daze. Please take some comfort in knowing you are not alone in your feelings. Thanks to the others on this forum, it has definitely helped me.
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bitgrn
It has been 15 days and I have gotten a little better. Then today as I was walking my boy Bentley, it all came rushing back. I miss Casey so much. I know I will get through this but the pain is so overwhelming. I started thinking about maybe getting another pup but now I wonder if that is an insult to Bentley that he's not enough to fill my void. I will be going out of town the weekend of May 6 so I know I wouldn't do anything before that, but am I not being fair to Bentley to have just him?  Confusion seems to be just as debilitating.
Cathy
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Rusty
bitgrn wrote:
I am so sorry to hear this about your Dixie. I have thought about going on the internet to research why she had the reaction to the shot that she did but I'm afraid it will just cause me more pain and guilt. It is somewhat soothing to hear your ER vet said it was probably neurological since my vet said the same thing. I trust my vet so much but I didn't know if he was just telling me that to comfort me. My heart aches for your family and I will continue to check on you in the forum. Please keep posting.

Hugs


HI. Like you, I've thought of doing some research about what happened, but decided against it for the same reason as you. And, I too was thinking the vet told me that because he didn't know what else to say or do. This morning, I'm filled with guilt because if I could go back in time, I would empty my bank account, take out a loan, whatever in order find out if there was any way she could have stayed with me. But, then I go back to that day and remember how horrible she felt. The breathing, crying, back legs not working. I did the right thing. So, I really need to stop my guilt trip. Take care...
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Haillesmom13
Guilt is awful, isn't it? I still feel terrible about how my dog, Grr, died. He was fine on his 9th birthday. He was sitting in my lap, like always, that night. I noticed him panting a bit, but I was a bit hot, too. I remember joking with my kids about how Grr and I were both hot, so they are the weird ones, not us. Fast forward to the next morning. I took him for his walk. All was normal, except he didn't bark at or try to chase anything. I took the kids to school and came home. He was panting hard. We got him to the vet. They said he was in congestive heart failure, but he had 14 - 15 months left. No hospitalization, just a lasicks shot and heart medication shot. My best friend died an hour and a half later, but before he did, he sat at my feet. He had bright red fluid all around his body. I have to tell you, that is guilt. I let him suffer when he couldn't breathe. I took him to an obviously incompetent vet. I let him die. He trusted me. I basically killed him. At least, my husband says so.
Hello, everyone. My name is Amanda, and I lost my beloved dog, Grr, a year ago in April. It was the day after his 9th birthday. I still miss him terribly. Grr was my dog. He loved my husband and kids, too, but he was MY dog. He chose me as his beloved, and I miss him so much! I always wonder if I could have prevented his death.
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Eddiesmom
I'm so sorry about Grr.  Our dogs are mine too....I do everything, feed, water, walk etc. so of course they come to me.

Listen you did what your vet said so don't feel guilty, we trust our vets but they are human and make grave errors that we pay for.  I had a vet that misdiagnosed by beloved Nadia, unbeknowst to us she had spleen cancer and the vet said it was upset stomach.  Needless to say she died a horrible and painful death because by the time we realized how sick she was she had collapsed.  I never went to that vet again and of course I felt guilt but now, 10 years later I realize it wasn't my fault that I did what the vet said.

Hugs,
Sue
Sue E
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Haillesmom13
I, too, have a different vet. I have a Bengal kitty and 2 Tibetan Spaniels. Mr. Maow, Stella and Zimmy. It helps, but they still aren't Grr. I never expected them to be. Mr. Maow decided to be my son's cat, Zimmy's my husband's buddy, and Stella loves my son the best. I know my husband meant well by getting our new dogs, but I miss Grr. He was my best friend right up until the second he died. He was the best dog I have ever had! Even my ornery husband said that Grr was special. The vet said that the reason he didn't hospitalize Grr was because he was so obviously attached to me. At least I was there during his last moments of life, and I got to tell him how special he was, and how much he was loved.
Hello, everyone. My name is Amanda, and I lost my beloved dog, Grr, a year ago in April. It was the day after his 9th birthday. I still miss him terribly. Grr was my dog. He loved my husband and kids, too, but he was MY dog. He chose me as his beloved, and I miss him so much! I always wonder if I could have prevented his death.
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