Thanks in advance for reading. I just want to get this off my chest.

She was 19 years old. I'm 26- so she had been a constant for most of my life- childhood through adulthood. She was very sick toward the end. I tried what I could to help her get better (vet prescribed antibiotics for an infection) but she just wasn't improving. I had to force feed her as she wasn't eating, and give her the meds, which she didn't like. I feel terribly guilty about that, b/c I know it was upsetting for her. I just wanted so badly for her to get better. She didn't seem to be suffering, though she didn't seem particularly happy at the end, not as much purring. I am just glad she's in peace, now. I don't know what that means- I'm not a religious person, but I am trying to think of it like that.

Now she's been gone, almost a week. I keep thinking WHAT IF in my mind, like if I had been able to do something differently and she'd still be alive. I know this is pointless thinking. But it feels like it's destroying my mind, these feelings. I would give anything to be able to go back in time and do things differently. I guess this is "bargaining".

I have been paralyzed with sadness since it happened. I have been to work, but felt like a ghost, like everything was surreal. I was aware I was not doing a good job. I also didn't care. I've been laying in my apartment, alone, doing mostly nothing. Crying sometimes. Had to call in sick to work one day last week b/c I felt too miserable. I have barely been eating. My sleep is sporadic and I have dreams constantly of her still being alive, of me still trying treatment to help her. I wake up and feel punched in the gut by reality.

I want to be able to function again without feeling like my heart is broken. I want to stop feeling guilt. Does any one have any suggestions for how to move on in my life? I don't want to forget her, I know I never will, but I want to be able to feel okay.

TLDR: I'm very sad. Any tips to get over the loss of a dear pet?

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I am so very sorry for the loss of your  sweet precious baby.

Grief is awful and there is nothing else like this pain.

I am divorced - when I was married I buried my son- at that time I became a Certified Grief Counselor- I used the same graveside service for my Bear as I did for my son.

Please know that when we lose someone we love we don't stop loving them -


The soul bound connection that is between our babies and ourselves is forever.

Nothing - not death- tears -grief - or sadness will ever break the ties between us for those ties are made of LOVE so strong that NOTHING will ever sever those connections.

Please know that when you were a child or a teen your baby still understood that you love her and you were still a child and she was the one watching over you. I bet she did not settle to sleep for the night until she knew you were home and safe by her side.


When we grieve for those we love it is because we do not quite know how to live without them. We breathe because we have no choice but the living part takes a huge amount of learning and time.

Grief is not something we get over but something that we learn -slowly- over time- to incorporate into our lives until it becomes a part of us like our bones and our breath.

Please know that we all understand here and we are all here for you.

We all “what if” ourselves and want to figure out a way that we could have done something else.

There is thread I posted on here-“Help Dealing With Grief Please Read This” – the articles on the first page may help you to understand everything a little better.

We are all in this together and all walking the same roller coaster path of grief together -

some a bit ahead of you, some by your side, and some will come behind for you to help along.

Please come back and share more of your life with your baby  with us so we can get to know her

better through you.

You Are In My Thoughts.                                       




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I have been through this too -  first with my beloved cat,  and then last week with my dog.

YES,  I kept thinking,  "I should have done something sooner;  I should have tried this or that,  I should not have been quick to agree to euthanasia"  etc.---you can drive yourself mad.  The fact is:  When cats and dogs become old,  and stop eating,  and have problems and infections,  they are declining, and it is the kindest thing to let them go before quality of life spirals downward.

Know that she is in your heart.  You do not have to be religious to feel her spirit is still around you:  It's part of nature and evolution.  I do believe in the recurrence theory of life (we live our lives over and over again,  each time getting better if we learn and grow)  and quite honestly if I did NOT have this belief, right now with my dog dead since Tuesday,  I might just pack it in.....Hope some of this helps.....Know your kitty loves you and is a part of you, and that you will know her again.....
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I'm sorry for your loss. I lost Ralph, my 19 year old Siamese in March. I am 27 and had him since he was a baby. It's been 109 days and I'm still a mess. Some days are better than others. You've come to the right place for support. Met some really nice people on here. If you need to talk my email is heathernicole20@comcast.net. I don't get on here much anymore. It's too hard to read new stories and read about the suffering.

Heather Johnson
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