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MiasMomma

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Reply with quote  #16 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Max147
Thank you for your wonderful support, I think you have summed it up, Max was my forever once in a lifetime dog too. I know I will never ever replace him but like you say the energy in our house now is total sadness & desolation. I think given time I really hope i will happen upon a new buddy & that time will be just the right time.

Xxxooo


Oh, how I understand that so much. My Mia was disabled for the last 3 years of her life, so she had a comfy recliner all to herself in the living room. When she left us, I couldn't go anywhere near that room.. it hurt to even look in there and see her empty chair. I completely retreated to the "safety" of my bedroom and drowned out the horrible silence with hour after hour of funny TV shows. Even with my husband and 2 other dogs right beside me, I felt SO lonely without her. I still feel that way at times, but things have definitely started to improve. I still cry a lot when I think about her, but I'm also finding it easier to remember the 11.5 years that I had with her and to be thankful that she came into my life. She was the MOST amazing girl and I feel blessed that she was mine.

They are such special beings and the reality is, no amount of time with them would ever be "enough".

Here's my beautiful girl...

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Max147

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Reply with quote  #17 
Oh she is so so beautiful, what a gorgeous girl. She is similar colouring to my Max.

Max was also disabled for the last 2 years of his life, he had a mineralised disc in his spine & he had a massive operation. It took him many months to get back on his feet & we thought we might lose him. We had a great veterinary surgeon & he managed to give us nearly an extra 3 years with him. He never walked properly after that but he wasnt in any pain & he still loved playing with his toys. We bought him a special bed with a tempur mattress - my daughter used to say he was treated better than she was!

I miss him too so very very much & I still struggle after nearly 5 months & still cry every day mainly first thing in the morning when I miss my morning cuddles.

Here is a picture of my beautiful boy when he was just 4 years old.

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AngelsGift

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Reply with quote  #18 
I too thought I would forget. My little girl has a stone under our maple tree and I find myself talking to her a lot when I am outside. We also have a picture of her up in the living room.

She’ll never be forgotten. It’s my way of honoring her.
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Max147

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Reply with quote  #19 
Hello AngelsGift - i too have an oak tree in the garden that I visit to talk to my beloved boy. He used to sit under it in the shade in the summer whilst I'd tended the garden. I miss his very presence every single day, he was a character & a soul mate.

I have a picture of him in every room & I hope he knows how much he is missed.

Warm wishes & sorry for your loss, its heartbreaking.
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AngelsGift

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Reply with quote  #20 
Hi Max147. It is so heartbreaking when we lose these fluffy loves. Im on the fence as far as a heaven, but I hope if there is one, she’s waiting for me. She knows I loved her dearly.

I try not to let sadness creep in, and it has been over a year since she passed, but the void of her not being here is still present every day.

I too am sorry for your loss. I hope comfort finds you soon and you can move past the grief.
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Tankie12

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Reply with quote  #21 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistysmama
I know. I didn't feel that so much at first, but I did more as time went by.
The bond between my girl and I is so strong. But there would be many days when I felt I couldn't "find" her.
Then there would be days when I could "find" her (inside myself somehow.) And I felt my Heart open, and my love go out.

But those days when she seemed so far away were hard, because it felt like something was slipping away. And the memories of what we did felt like faded photographs -two-dimensional somehow.
Those things did frighten me too.

Empty days and nights....no connection....not one dream to remember.

But through all the years since she's gone, every now and again she will return maybe not for long, but just to show me without any doubt that SHE hasn't forgotten.
So I have learned to live on that faith and trust in her. It's amazing. I can't find her, but when she can SHE will find me, showing me that they haven't really gone -not irrevocably, and not forever.

It helps me with my fears of complete loss of a loved one and dear things to my Soul, and I think they may all do that, only we don't always recognise it when they do. We might just think we are having a "sentimental moment" when their contact comes in towards us (?)
I think she's showing me not only what she does, but probably what others do too, when there is a strong bond of love

I also think that her showing me occasionally, that she remembers, and loves me is a sign that she is waiting for me for sure. Otherwise why would she keep reassuring me she's still "there", still remembers, still loves?
And not to worry because on that level there is no forgetting.

I needed to read this, thank you,,,,,

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Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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Max147

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Reply with quote  #22 
This is so beautiful, I hope there is a place where they are waiting for us I really really do xxoo
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DogNana

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Reply with quote  #23 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Max147
Hello everyone

I dont know how to explain this but I'll try. I'm very scared that my memories & my intense bond i had with my beloved Max will fade. I miss the life I had with him beyond words & I'm struggling to form a new life without him. I want the life back that i had with him so very much but i know i never will. I dont want the love I have for him to fade because it was so real & pure. But already I feel he's slipping away from me as I face a new future without him.

I seemed to accept that life goes on when my dear mum passed but I just cant seem to get past this with Max & I'm afraid to move on without him. I dont want my love for him to fade into something that was just a distant memory rather than something that was & is so special to me.

I dont even know what I'm trying to say I just want Max to come home as I dont know where he is & the world doesn't feel right without him.

Thank you & warm wishes to you all. Xx



I’m so sorry for your loss and I understand exactly how you feel. It will be six months on June 17 that I lost Oscar. As time has gone by I find myself smiling at some of the memories while still crying at others.

But I also have the fear of his memory fading and I don’t want that to happen. I never want to let him go. Sometimes I get a feeling of panic when I realize that I went for a longer time then usual without looking at his pictures or videos and I break down. I still think of him everyday but I fear the fading with time. In my head I know that that is how the grief process is suppose to be buy I don't want it to be. The thought of him becoming a distant memory is heartbreaking.


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Oscar, always Mommy’s Boy, forever in my ❤️ 
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DogNana

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Reply with quote  #24 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistysmama
I know. I didn't feel that so much at first, but I did more as time went by.
The bond between my girl and I is so strong. But there would be many days when I felt I couldn't "find" her.
Then there would be days when I could "find" her (inside myself somehow.) And I felt my Heart open, and my love go out.

But those days when she seemed so far away were hard, because it felt like something was slipping away. And the memories of what we did felt like faded photographs -two-dimensional somehow.
Those things did frighten me too.

Empty days and nights....no connection....not one dream to remember.

But through all the years since she's gone, every now and again she will return maybe not for long, but just to show me without any doubt that SHE hasn't forgotten.
So I have learned to live on that faith and trust in her. It's amazing. I can't find her, but when she can SHE will find me, showing me that they haven't really gone -not irrevocably, and not forever.

It helps me with my fears of complete loss of a loved one and dear things to my Soul, and I think they may all do that, only we don't always recognise it when they do. We might just think we are having a "sentimental moment" when their contact comes in towards us (?)
I think she's showing me not only what she does, but probably what others do too, when there is a strong bond of love

I also think that her showing me occasionally, that she remembers, and loves me is a sign that she is waiting for me for sure. Otherwise why would she keep reassuring me she's still "there", still remembers, still loves?
And not to worry because on that level there is no forgetting.


This is beautiful. I just ordered your book, Angel From the Streets, from Amazon. I’m not ready to read it yet but in time I will.

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Oscar, always Mommy’s Boy, forever in my ❤️ 
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Max147

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Reply with quote  #25 
I'm so sorry for your loss of Oscar & thank you for sharing your feelings which are similar to mine. I too get very panicky when I suddenly realise I havent thought about my beautiful boy for longer than I normally would. It then hits me like a crushing pain & I shut myself away & have a cry.

I dont want the tremendous love I feel for Max to ever fade, i want to keep him alive & vibrant inside me, I dont want to forget how very special he is to me & lose the closeness I feel right now.

Today has been a bad day, I only feel comfortable sitting on the sofa with his blanket wrapped around me. Sometimes the memory of the night he passed is so strong I am tearful all day. Other times I can push it to the back of my mind & try & muddle through. But never a day or night goes by when he is not forefront in my thoughts.

Warm wishes to you xx

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Loobylu126

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Reply with quote  #26 
It's been one month since we lost Lu suddenly. I could have written your words myself and was thinking only the same as you a couple of hours ago. I don't have any answers. It's so hard. The only consolation I can offer is that many of us feel your pain and you are not alone with your feelings. I hope things get easier for us all and they remain cocooned safely in our hearts until it is our time to see them again.
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MiasMomma

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Reply with quote  #27 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Max147
Oh she is so so beautiful, what a gorgeous girl. She is similar colouring to my Max.

Max was also disabled for the last 2 years of his life, he had a mineralised disc in his spine & he had a massive operation. It took him many months to get back on his feet & we thought we might lose him. We had a great veterinary surgeon & he managed to give us nearly an extra 3 years with him. He never walked properly after that but he wasnt in any pain & he still loved playing with his toys. We bought him a special bed with a tempur mattress - my daughter used to say he was treated better than she was!

I miss him too so very very much & I still struggle after nearly 5 months & still cry every day mainly first thing in the morning when I miss my morning cuddles.

Here is a picture of my beautiful boy when he was just 4 years old.



OMG what a handsome little man! I love that beautiful face!

I know how hard it is. It’s now been just over 2 months since I had to say goodbye to my sweet girl, and I still miss her everyday. The tears still hit me when I least expect it. She was such a special soul with the most beautiful heart I’ve wr seen in any living being. I, too, thought we were going to lose her in January of 2016. A freak injury rendered her unable to walk. We worked with her so hard and prayed for recovery, but she never got her miracle. We carried her everywhere for the last few years of her life and I would happily do it all again to have my girl back. She adapted to being disabled SO easily and learned to communicate her needs to us. Sometimes, I still can’t believe that she’s gone.

I miss this girl... so damn much. :(

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Max147

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Reply with quote  #28 
What a beautiful girl & I'm so sorry you've all been through so much with her. That just shows how much love & dedication you had & still have for her. Doesn't it just break your heart to look at their pictures & remember how wonderful they were.
.

5 months later I still miss Max just as much as I did the day he passed. My brave little boy, my best friend. 😭💔
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MiasMomma

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Reply with quote  #29 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Max147
What a beautiful girl & I'm so sorry you've all been through so much with her. That just shows how much love & dedication you had & still have for her. Doesn't it just break your heart to look at their pictures & remember how wonderful they were.
.

5 months later I still miss Max just as much as I did the day he passed. My brave little boy, my best friend. 😭💔


I understand you. 100%. I have 3 other dogs and while I love them dearly, she was my best friend... my furry soul mate. I’m having SO much trouble accepting that our time together is over. I was doing reasonably well for a while and then this past week, it feels like it’s all come crashing down on me again. I keep looking at her chair in the living room thinking that she’ll be there. I come home from work, open the door and expect to hear that incredibly happy bark. She was the most beautiful creature, inside and out, and just lived to care for others. I miss her light... her beautiful, joyful spirit... and her amazing heart. I couldn’t even sniffle without her worrying and snuggling up to me. She was so in tune with me and my emotions. My other 3 just don’t have that in them.

I feel like I’ve had to grieve for my girl twice. Once when she got injured and her life completely changed, and then again when we had to say goodbye to her in April. I hold SO much anger that she had to deal with that injury and how drastically it changed her life. She never cared, though. There was no sadness or self-pity. She just accepted her new limitations and learned to adapt. She still lived to snuggle and always had the most beautiful, happy face.

I miss her so much. I feel so lonely without her and the anger, the guilt, the sadness... it’s all just too much to bear some days. 😢

This was her last day with us...only an hour before taking her to the vet. We knew things were changing subtly and slowly and her quality of life was starting to change for the worse. We had talked about it before and agreed that with everything she’d been though, she deserved a happy and peaceful exit from the world before anything caused her any sort of suffering. I go over it in my mind all the time and pray that I made the right choice at the right time... that I did what was best for her.

Ugh. 😩

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Max147

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Reply with quote  #30 
Oh my gosh I'm so upset for you - Mia looks so gorgeous - she looks kind & loving - you can just tell a beautiful soul 😭😭. She is an absolute angel.

I'm with you on the guilt, I ruminate all the time on Max's face the day I left the room before being put to sleep. I cant live with the picture which forever plays in my head. He looked st me as if to say "where are you going , dont leave me" and it makes me so distressed.

I feel terrible today, very tearful. Max used to follow me everywhere around the house even into the bathroom! He used to dance around my feet when I was making food & his eyes were always sparkly & knowing. He was very intelligent & a very good friend. He too had a loving soul. He was a strong boy & just accepted everything thrown his way. He had many medical problems which came from the cavalier/poodle mix. He had the cavalier heart murmur which eventually killed him, the poodle eye& joint problems.

One thing I couldn't consider is getting another dog for a long time if ever. I have friends & neighbours with dogs & I have had other dogs in the past but none of them are like Max, he was a polite gentleman & I would be forever comparing a new dog with him & that would be unfair, he was my once in a lifetime dog.

I don't know how I'm going to get through the rest of my life without him. I know it's a long way off but I'm already dreading Christmas as it was his favourite day - we used to wrap all his presents up & he had the best time tearing off the paper to get to his special treats.

This is my baby a few days before he passed. He had lost so much weight 😪. Life sure is rubbish without him & I hate it. 🤮🤮.

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