stacyft
My sweet baby girl, Sassy, was diagnosed with a lung tumor last November, 2015. She was 12 at the time and the tumor was an accidental finding. We opted not to have the tumor surgically removed because of other risks. We did however go through chemo and had numerous trips to vet for checkups. She continued on with no issues. She was such a strong little girl. Last week she went in for a routine dental cleaning. From that point on something went wrong. She presented with respiratory distress and some GI problems. That was Tuesday, the following Monday, October 3, I had to make the call to put her down. She had become O2 dependent in just her last 3 days. This little girl was my world, everything I did revolved around her and now she's gone. I pray the lord takes me just so I can be with her again. My heart has been ripped out. I hate to go home because she isn't there. I'm consistently sick to my stomach, can't eat or sleep. I just don't want to go on without her.
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Sheltiescout
Hi Stacy- we just put my Scout down this evening at the home. The vet was kind enough to come to our house. Scout was suffering from nasal cancer. He was diagnosed in march. Doctor gave him 1-3 months, but through the use of natural herb pills we were lucky to get 7 more months. His nose was disfigured due to cancer and he could not breathe out of his nose. Scout passed with his family surrounding him. I am having a difficult time, too. I don't like seeing an empty place where he used to lay. I feel sick to my stomach and can't stop crying. Your sweet dog is in my prayers as well. Hoping they have met at the rainbow bridge....
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stacyft
Thank you so much for your prayers and prayers to you as well. I bet they've met and are playing as we speak. I'm trying to hang in there but it's not easy. Hang in there! It's a shame they don't last forever.
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Sheltiescout
It's not easy. It was difficult going to work today. I cried all night and this AM. I keep trying to remember that they are no longer suffering due to their disease. But, Scout and sassy taught us how to love. it was our job to love them back and take the suffering away. I wish I could get a sign from him to ease the emptiness that I am feeling.
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stacyft
Agreed. I'm such a wreck that I took off work the rest of the week. I keep questioning what I missed or what I did wrong in her care. I keep thinking I hear her bark. Literally driving me crazy. We will get through it, just going to take time. Our sweet babies just meant so much. That isn't a bad thing.
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Sheltiescout
I walked into the house after work today and felt so empty. No Scout to greet me at the door. Last night, I asked for a sign that he was OK, and the lights in my living room flickered. Im sure you went above and beyond for your dog. Do not question anything. You brought her in because you CARED! You wanted her to stay healthy and up to date with all routine check ups. I don't think you could've done anything more for sassy. There are times I feel as though I waited too long to put scout down, but other times I feel like he just wasn't ready to go. An hour before the vet came to put him down, scout seemed so alive. He came into rooms that he hadn't entered in months. He ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner (something he hadn't done for months). The vet said we chose a good day for him to be his last. Please give me reassurance that I did the right thing....I wanted to end his suffering. I knew he was suffering. I could see the pain in his eyes. He wasn't the same scout I knew years ago. I hope this pain goes away. I can't live like this.
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stacyft
I have no doubt you did what was best for your sweet Scout. My goal when Sassy was diagnosed was to not let her suffer and I can honestly say she didn't. She came home from her dental cleaning on Tuesday and I could tell she didn't feel good. The vet thought it was the anesthesia so I watched her closely. I took her back to vet on Thursday and they kept her overnight on fluids. At this time she was starting to pant really hard. I knew something was wrong because she wouldn't eat and the little thing never missed a meal the entire 11 months of chemo. When I say she was well, she was. If you didn't know she was going through treatments, you would never know she was sick. I picked her up that Friday afternoon and took her home. Called my vet late that evening and said she's still not feeling well. Well, of course, she had left that day going out of state. Told me to do this and do that and she would call me Saturday morning. We woke up Saturday morning at about 5am and her breathing was way different. I loaded her up and drove her an hour and a half away to an ER vet that I trust with everything in me since mine was out of town. Prayed the whole time she would make it there. They immediately took her back and put her on oxygen and gave her a mild sedative to make her comfortable. We ran more tests on Monday. Thy gave me all her results and then said, she's oxygen dependent. We can keep her on oxygen one more day and see if anything changes but it's likely she won't come off it. They said she's tired Mrs. Thorn. They let me visit with her and she was struggling to breathe and as hard as it was, i couldn't let her go through that. At that time I knew what I had to do. It was the easiest but at the same time the hardest decision I've ever made. She didn't suffer and I have comfort in knowing that. It was just that after all this time she did so good then suddenly started having clinical signs and I knew it wasn't good. I thank God every day that it wasn't long and drawn out. When the tumor reared its ugly head and she started showing signs, it was fast.

We know when it's the right time and we did what was best for our sweet babies. I try to stay busy and it seems to make it more tolerable. The sickness in my stomach never goes away but I know that sweet Sassy and Scout are getting all the love and food they could possibly want right now at Rainbowbridge and we will see their little furry sweet faces again some day. Hang in there!
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Sheltiescout
Thank you for your story. It sounds like sassy was such a strong pup. Today has been a better day. I am having less regret today. I know that they were suffering and the quality of life wasn't the same. I have also been getting such strange signs. Today, there was a penny on the steps up to my bedroom (you would hear if a penny fell because the stairs are wood). Then, I went on my Pinterest account and a picture was suggested for me: animals in heaven. I feel like these are the signs I've been asking for. Somebody, somewhere, is taking great care of sassy and scout. Hang in there, too.
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Timmymissu
I feel forvall you guys and i am exactly the same i miss my golden timmy so much it hurts like hell i thought i was starting to feel better but im not im kidding myself that dog of mine was my son my everything i loved my walks with him and tears are straming down my face god help us all not to hurt so much please x
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Sheltiescout
Timmy was a beautiful dog! Thank you for sharing that picture. I will have to upload a picture of scout. I understand how you feel...When I drive my car to work, I drive along scout's morning walk. I envision us walking. Those were some good times. Feel better. We are here for you.
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sarab
Stacy, your words about Sassy show how much you loved her and did the best you could for her.  I know that sick feeling well and continue to have it each day after losing my Teddy nearly 3 months ago.  I really don't think I'll ever be the same again.  My heart feels your pain and I grieve your loss.  You were the best mom she could have had.  I know you are blessed for that.  Take care.  Sara
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Goferrisgo
There is a lot of comfort to be gained here. I don't post much (more of a reader) but it has helped me with the false guilt and the what-ifs of having to make that final decision.  It will be five weeks tomorrow since we lost our Harley to lymphoma, and I still can't bear to move the blanket where he slept at night.  I know I will at some point, but I'm not there yet.  Sharing the pain and sadness can ease the burden.

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MonaGirl
Big hugs, I lost my little girl last year to heart disease she passed away at home. I asked another lady who had recently lost her male Kitty that she had had for many years, how she got through the grief and what she told me she asked God for the strength every day to go on, and that's how she made it through her little male cats passing, and that's what I do I ask God for the strength every day, it's very hard, I lost my little kitty in August of last year, and they're still times I cry, and I have such horrible health problems I have migraines that are horrible comma I'm in my forties, I'm not married, I have no children, and all of my family has passed on, so my little cat was all I really had. And my health is so poor I'm not sure if I'll live long enough to have another animal. If I had another animal it would be a cat. Big hugs.
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Trajan50
stacyft wrote:
My sweet baby girl, Sassy, was diagnosed with a lung tumor last November, 2015. She was 12 at the time and the tumor was an accidental finding. We opted not to have the tumor surgically removed because of other risks. We did however go through chemo and had numerous trips to vet for checkups. She continued on with no issues. She was such a strong little girl. Last week she went in for a routine dental cleaning. From that point on something went wrong. She presented with respiratory distress and some GI problems. That was Tuesday, the following Monday, October 3, I had to make the call to put her down. She had become O2 dependent in just her last 3 days. This little girl was my world, everything I did revolved around her and now she's gone. I pray the lord takes me just so I can be with her again. My heart has been ripped out. I hate to go home because she isn't there. I'm consistently sick to my stomach, can't eat or sleep. I just don't want to go on without her.


Don't be depressed, Stacy...when I lost Biggie, which was more than 3 years ago, I ran right back out and got another cat and everything has been fine since.  It was never intended that Snooper replace Biggie, I simply wanted to liberate another friend from the Humane Society.  There is NO better therapy imho. 
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dogmama
Hi Stacy, 

I know how you feel. I just lost my baby Milo to a highly invasive cancer yesterday. I feel a big empty hole in my chest. I've been crying nonstop. I miss my baby! You are not alone.

Julie
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