Mwende
I lost my baby on Saturday and am afraid I'm sinking into an abyss. I keep seeing his face and expression of abandon and love. Today, for the first time in my life, I saw suicide as a good thing. I feel so empty without him. I do have two other dogs to care for, which helped for the last few days but today I'm just broken. I feel like nothing will suffice.
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MAlcindor
Vivian, I am so sorry for your loss and the terrible pain you are experiencing. I know how the sadness can take over and you sink into a depression you think you can't get out of. Your other dogs need you so please take care of yourself. Your baby would not want to see you so sad. Keep coming back to post about him. Everyone here understands the pain.
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Tankie12
Hi Vivian I’m sorry for the pain you’re in, I honestly understand feeling as if you don’t have the strength to go on but you reached out to a a group of people who’ve felt this intense pain also. I want you to know you’re not alone.
What’s his name? Tell me about him, tell me about your other two also. You may need to help them with this, sometimes they grieve as hard as we do, they don’t understand why he hasn’t come home. You have to be Mommy for them❣️,,,,,
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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Rookiesmama
Vivian,
I would love to see pictures of your baby when you're ready. Please don't be too hard on yourself.... it's been less than a week and this journey is a long one 😔 give yourself time and surround yourself with people who understand. ❤
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Jimbo106
Mwende;  Suicide is never a good option.Please Call 1-800-273-8255 if you get feeling that bad.

Everyone responding here knows how painful losing a loved one is, and wishes to help. It takes time to work into a new normal, and the road has a lot of bumps in it. If you look at my very first post in May of 2011, you'll see all the ups and downs I went through...and here I am again. Right now there is one furkid on my left side and one on my right, and they'll always need me. You're never alone here, and never will be.

I vote with all the other posters before me, and would like to know more about your furkid.

Jim and the girls
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Indiana_Andrea
Awwww honey.... I know how hard it is.  My 16yo kitty, Mistletoe, has been gone 5 weeks and that first week he was gone was so incredibly hard.  I could barely breathe!  It still hurts and it's still hard but... I can actually sleep & eat now.  In that first week or two, I thought I would surely NEVER sleep or eat again.  Everytime I ate, I always thought about Mistletoe not ever eating again and it made me so depressed.

Please know that you are not alone. All of us here have walked... or are walking... in your shoes.  You are needed on this earth, my dear.  Others are counting on you and would be devastated if you were not here for them.

You will see your angel again.  We all will.  Our work is simply not done yet and theirs was.

Gentle hugs, Andrea
They never live long enough....
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Mackysmum
I'm so sorry your in so much pain , the first weeks are terrible and so scary
The first few days after Macky died I felt suicidal , I felt the only way out from the horrible suffocating pain was if I died and I wanted to be with him so bad I felt I couldn't breath anymore .
But I stayed close by with family and I have other dogs that need me so I pushed on .
It will get a bit easier with time that crushing pain lessens I swear it does .
I'm suffering depression right now but I'm not suicidal and I'm in therapy , I'm not telling you that to freak you out just being honest that this is a bumpy process but I do believe it can get better in time .
Please dont hurt yourself , think of it this way would your baby be upset if he or she knew how much your were in pain ? I can 100% promise they wouldn't want to see us in so much pain ,, they always protected us
Xxxx
Please be safe you are important in this world and super important to your other babies
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Mwende
Thanks so much for your concern. I'm not planning to kill myself. I'll come back when I have time and write a longer and better response, but for now please don't worry; I'm fighting those feelings and expect to heal. I'm sorry I scared you. Thank you, everyone.
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Tankie12
Vivian, this is never a place you have to apologize at😉 we just know how incredibly painful it is to lose our precious babies,,,,,
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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Mwende
It's been a week and a day, and I'm mostly getting on with it but morbid wishes still invade my thoughts from time to time. I'm considering counselling. I joined the Pet Loss chat room but I'm too early; I'd have to come back at 7pm my time to chat since today is Sunday.

My dad brought Dexter home while I was away in school. When I got home I was so mad, because I knew my dad wouldn't take care of him. Dexter was also very energetic and liked to jump on me, and I used to wear a lot of white so his jumping infuriated me. I requested that he be locked up in his kennel whenever I came home so I could enter the house unstained.

One day, as I was passing the kennel to enter the house, I thought how annoying he was to be making such a racket. Then it hit me. The racket was his wagging tail hitting the walls of the kennel. That broke me.

Dexter would soon become the love of my life, and I taught him when the right time was to jump on me (which was often), and I stopped wearing white so much. 

I loved his simplicity and sincerity and miss his beautiful brown eyes. I know we'll meet again soon, but suddenly life feels very long. I'm bringing Shaggy (Dexter's grandson) to the city from my parents' rural home. He has a cough. It's always been my plan to one day bring Shaggy home to spend his golden years with me, anyway. I'm not ready to have him just yet, so he'll stay at my sister's place for now. I also have Wilma, a rescue from a nearby slum. I've had her for four years.

This is Dexter 😉

dex2.jpg
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MAlcindor
He’s beautiful!❤️❤️❤️
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PugLuv
Thank you so much for sharing Dexter's story and a photo of him <3  
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Sil
Mwende,

I'm truly sorry for your loss of Dexter.  A few years back, I was suffering from depression and anxiety attacks, I too experienced those "morbid, hopeless thoughts","useless, why was I living?".  Therapy and meds, and a wonderful male doggie named Sol "rescued" me.  For eleven years and two months, Sol was my shadow, my companion, my fierce protector from anything or anyone" .  So, when Sol said good bye....I was so scared to experience those "feelings" again,
but, I thought about Sol - 
Sol would have protected me with his life, so how could I hurt myself?. 
In his honor, I live,


Dexter wants you to live,
Dexter lives in your heart forever,
Dexter knows that you are hurting,
we know that you are hurting,
you are not alone, we are here for you.  But, if you are "overwhelmed" with those morbid thoughts , please, call for help 1-800-273-8255
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