Tgmjr24
My baby girls name was Camille, I has adopted 13 years so from a shelter. When I got her as was about a year old and I was 11. I grew up with her I remember when I first got her feeling so bad leaving her at home alone when I would go to school. I eventually developed a little ritual of petting her and giving her a kiss every time I would leave even if I would only be for a little. Whenever I would come home she would be there to great me with that gleeful wagging tail like she thought I was never coming back. She as like that until about 2 weeks ago when we first took her to the vet. We had thought she had kennel cough such we were treating but she stopped eating so we decided it was time to seek more help. To my dismay the vet told us that she may have pneumonia and possible cancer which he thought to be behind. He gave us a prescription and after a day or 2 at started eating and looking to be getting better. Reluctantly I had vacation scheduled and decided since she was doing better that it would be k for me to go. I remember telling my parents to please look after her and keep her around or me until I got home (because of the cancer thought still had me terrified). I gave her an extra long goodbye the better part of 4 hours and did my same ritual when I left, called her my baby girl, petted her and gave her a kiss and out the door I went. My parents ended up taking her to another vet as someone told my mother the previous vet was a quack but I didn't think a second opinion could hurt. This doctor soon told us that not only did she not have pneumonia but she had high cholesterol in her lungs which is why she was having a hard time breathing and that she had heart disease. He was worried about getting the breathing under control and that we shouldn't worry about anything for now she looked like she still had some time. That was on a Thursday, Saturday I got a call the day before we left that she had a heart attack and she was hooked up to a machine to help her breath. I had to say goodbye to my baby girl over the phone, and I was even able to stay on while they put her down to help keep her calm as she drifted away. I just can't help but think that she somehow had a heart attack because I wasn't there with when she was sick and needed me and she thought I abandoned her so she gave up. My parents said that when she heard my voice on the phone she immediately perked up and tried to getup and was looking around for me. It's only need 2 days and 2 hours since she passed on without me there and I don't know how I could ever forgive myself or get over the loss of my best friend that I grew up with that was always there for me, but when she needed me i wasn't there for her....
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BonnieNora
Tgmjr24 I am so so so sorry for your loss. And that you couldn't be there. Please don't have all of that guilt. I know easier said than done. I can't imagine how you must feel. I wish I even knew what to say. It's funny bc all of us here are going through it, yet I always feel like I'm never saying enough or the right thing. She knew she was loved by you. They know. Sending you love💗
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