FluffyBunny
It is over a week since my rabbit Fluffy went to the rainbow bridge and the first 3 days I cried so much but now I feel nothing and don't cry. From reading other posts you all are so sad and hurt and are taking months to feel even a little bit normal and I kind of want to feel that hurt too because I feel like its like she didn't mean anything to me because I'm ok so soon. I only cry for her if a write or talk about her not even looking at her things or photos makes me cry, I do feel sad but she was my whole world. Also so many of you talk about not being able to sleep well but I'm sleeping a lot and its not disrupted sleep or no nightmares I just sleep through the day mostly because without fluffy I have nothing to do and I don't feel like doing anything. I know everyone grieves differently and there is no 'normal' way but I feel like mine is so wrong and I get angry at myself for not feeling it.
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Baileys_mum_01
We all grieve in different ways.  I have good days and bad days.  If I am busy it is easier for me.  It is worse when I am alone and I have chance to sit and think about Bailey and then realise he isn't here anymore.  I long to hug him and feel his soft fur coat.  I miss seeing him at the window when I drive away and come home from work.  I miss his funny little wiggle.  Just because you don't cry all the time and are managing to sleep it doesn't mean you love your baby any less than anyone else.  For a lot of people on here their baby was their whole life.  Bailey was like another son to me but I have two sons who are home right now and they stop me from feeling lonely.  Even though I seem to be coping it doesn't mean I don't miss Bailey.  I miss him every moment of every day and there are days when I can't stop crying. Many people had their baby sleeping with them.  Bailey always slept downstairs because my husband didn't want him in our room. I am separated now but Bailey was always used to sleeping downstairs.  Please don't feel angry with yourself.  Fluffy knows how much you love her.  I am so sorry for your loss.
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Mistysmama
I sleep deeply and well too. Most of the time, though there are some nights occasionally I can't sleep. The very day my Misty passed I slept 8 hours straight. And I don't cry when I look at her pictures. Well there have been some times I cried, but mostly I didn't.
But it doesn't mean we don't love them!
You don't have to cry all the time to feel the love, and the loss.
Don't be too hard on yourself. It's only a week since Fluffy passed. It's a rollercoaster of different emotions, -and sometimes numbness too, for quite a while. 
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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heartsick
We all go numb in the beginning.
It is sort of how our brain protects us from the pain of the loss.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve and there is
no time limit to grief either.

Please be kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up.
Grief is difficult enough without us putting more onto ourselves.
Just keep coming and talking to us.

We are all here for you.

Susan











 


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FluffyBunny
I just feel wrong I can't explain it and at first I felt so proud if myself, and knew my girls would be proud too because I have been depressed for so long and I could feel myself thinking about my future in a positive way. But things have gone back to the way they were and I hate it so much, none of my family talk to me and I don't want to sound selfish but no one cares about me or how I'm doing, I was almost rushed to hospital and have been suicidal in the past but no just no family support at all. I don't really remember what happened that night but I was told I walked out of my room and started crying then all of the sudden I was on the ground having trouble breathing and not responding, I had really low blood sugar because I hadn't eaten in days and they think it was shock. When I came to I was so confused and angry because me not eating was me trying to just waste away and die now I had something injected to get my sugar levels up and being told to drink it they would take me to hospital, I closed my eyes and tried to think what was going on and what to do and I guess they all thought I was asleep because I heard my dad, we haven't talked in a long time, say he was crying because he was scared for me and that our family don't show love to each other enough and he promises he was going to change. So I fell asleep thinking maybe from this bad time for me our family would make a good change and I was so looking forward to having my family back, but no dad is drunk everyday and barely remembers what day it is so he doesn't remember wanting to fix anything and mum was there for me at first but now she is asking me if I want a new rabbit and pressuring me to get rid of Fluffys things. What I really needed now more than ever was my family to just put everything behind us and be there for me, I may be about to turn 21 but I still just sometimes need my mum and dad, I am dealing with this all by myself and I'm so scared that it is just going to hit me all at once and I will feel the pain and hurt and the anger and who will it be taken out on..me and I'm so sick of hating myself. Fluffy really was the only thing for me worth living for and the only love I felt, my sister is there for me a lot but she works nights so we don't get to talk a lot and she asked me to move in with her, but she wiuld be gone all night most nights and I so wanted to but to be honest I just don't want to be alone even if that means being surrounded by people that make me feel the loneliest
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heartsick
Please know that we all care about you.
I am older than 21 and I still count on my parents
for emotional support - it is not abnormal to want our
families around us when we need them.

When we don't have blood family we find our own family -
and we are like family here.

There is usually someone on this site almost around the clock
due to time difference around the world and many of us
unable to sleep - so come on here whenever you feel the need and
write whatever you need to get out. It is not the same thing as
someone giving you a hug and holding you while you cry-
but we do understand.

No one here will tell you to put Fluffy's things away or go another
because there will never be another Fluffly and no life is replaceable.

You are in my thoughts.
Susan
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FluffyBunny
I really do want to thank everyone that has replied and to anyone who has read my posts because just talking or writing about it does really help, as much as I wish I had my family it's comforting to know through tradgedy we can bind and be there for strangers because if the love we have for the I ones we lost. It is now three weeks I think, I don't really check the date anymore, since I lost my Fluffy and i am now having trouble sleeping at night and sleeping more during the day, I hated being awake late in the first few days after because at night was when Fluffy wanted to play and if course I couldn't say no. I feel like my mind just won't shut off but then I get really bored and remember what me and Fluff would be doing at this time. I know this sounds terrible but my family have a habit of replacing lost or passed away animals, when I say replaced I really do mean it we lost a bird so we got a new one that one died do we got two more, one guinea pig died we got one for the remaining sister when that one died we got another one when that one died we got two more and these new ones come sometimes the very next day. I think it's wrong because you they are not giving anyone time to grieve or heal its like aww look at the cute new one. I keep seeing ads on advertising websites and there is one for a rabbit and it looks just like Fluffy, now I would never try to replace her and not this soon and I know it wouldn't be good to get another rabbit that looks like fluffy but my heart is telling me it would be like holding her again, had anyone else experienced anything like this? My brother just got another guinea pig and its cute and i had a quick hold but I just can't seem to find any love to give another animal, we have a puppy and I do live her but she isn't mine, my brother keeps asking if he can have things for the guinea pig that used to be Fluffy's and mum even asked if try could have her cage, fairly enough I got angry and just don't even want to deal with them at all.
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Mistysmama
I understand. You need your own personal time to grieve. You are handling it differently to the way they would....
Everyone copes in different ways. Be true to yourself.
It was good that I was extremely alone after Misty passed. I could do my own thing. I am very grateful for that.
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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