Faceinyou
I can’t see it there without him in it and it’s just plain hurts to see it. I’ll never understand why a 4 year old perfectly healthy dog would get hit and killed by a car ...of course I understand it was an accident but why ...I’ll never know. Innocent little doggie filled with nothing but love. I guess at this point I realize I hurt for myself as Toby is not struggling in any way. He wants for nothing but I want him. He wouldn’t want me to hurt and coming to terms with that is more than difficult. I just don’t know. Life is more than odd.
Toby’s Dad
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Mistysmama
Yes of course you hurt for yourself. That is natural. I think we all do, including myself. It hurts that they are no longer here

To have a loved one taken away like Toby in the prime of his life...it is hard to understand. I don't know why such things happen. It's not "evil", it's just a part of this raggedy life we live here. But how much it tears at our hearts.

I can understand why you couldn't bear to see Toby's bed any more -how it tore at you to look at it without him in it. Maybe that's for the best.

But do keep one thing. Whatever that is, is up to you, but just one little thing at least to remind you of him. Hide it away if you can't bear to smell it, or see it right now. Put it somewhere safe for the future because one day you might miss that little thing.
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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Faceinyou
Mistysmama wrote:
Yes of course you hurt for yourself. That is natural. I think we all do, including myself. It hurts that they are no longer here

To have a loved one taken away like Toby in the prime of his life...it is hard to understand. I don't know why such things happen. It's not "evil", it's just a part of this raggedy life we live here. But how much it tears at our hearts.

I can understand why you couldn't bear to see Toby's bed any more -how it tore at you to look at it without him in it. Maybe that's for the best.

But do keep one thing. Whatever that is, is up to you, but just one little thing at least to remind you of him. Hide it away if you can't bear to smell it, or see it right now. Put it somewhere safe for the future because one day you might miss that little thing.


Thank you for listening. These things that happen in life make it harder to endure this life. I thought about more than throwing his bed away...I want to move ...all the things “they say” don’t do...it’s so painful ....I try to come back to the what would me and Toby together want? Love. That’s all that’s left. It’s the thing I shared with Toby the most. It’s the toy , the good times ...the glances into each others eyes, I wish he hadn’t been so young when this happened because it makes me think it’s extra painful to lose him, I had another dog for 14 years and it was excruciating to lose him. I swore I’d never get another dog and that love between animals and me could never compare ....well they don’t ...they are just different . Now my two dogs I had are alike....they are still a part of me and me part of them. Non will part in life or in death. They are my babies. I sure miss Toby more acutely right now and can’t tell if that will ever change. Hard to know because he was only 4. Just enough time to fully bond. Every loss no matter how long is a meaningful as the love you give. Toby sure gave me love. I am grateful I ever had him at all but it sure stings this life bad very bad.. He’d want me to be ok.!thats the Toby he was in life .,.so far that’s all I know ...I sure hope there’s something else ...love I do believe is eternal. To my Toby I hope your love helps more than just me...,you had so much love you gave i can’t imagine that was all just for me .,..
Toby’s Dad
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Mistysmama
We all must deal with this terrible thing as best suits us. Some people are very different to others in what is best for them after a loved one passes.
I wanted everything to stay the same. I didn't want to touch anything. But sometimes people need a whole new start.

But if you move, be sure it's what you most need to do, and that it's practical for you. There is no way we can run away from the grief. A new home is distracting though, and some people do well with good distractions. The work and stress helps them through somehow, to a new territory....

But yes I can tell you I do know for sure that there is "something else". They cross over -they don't "die". The only reason I know that for certain is because my dog showed me. And Love cannot be killed when it is true, honest,  and shared.
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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Faceinyou
Mistysmama wrote:
We all must deal with this terrible thing as best suits us. Some people are very different to others in what is best for them after a loved one passes.
I wanted everything to stay the same. I didn't want to touch anything. But sometimes people need a whole new start.

But if you move, be sure it's what you most need to do, and that it's practical for you. There is no way we can run away from the grief. A new home is distracting though, and some people do well with good distractions. The work and stress helps them through somehow, to a new territory....

But yes I can tell you I do know for sure that there is "something else". They cross over -they don't "die". The only reason I know that for certain is because my dog showed me. And Love cannot be killed when it is true, honest,  and shared.


mistysmama, thank you very much ...I really needed to hear that.
Toby’s Dad
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Achilly
Faceinyou please keep one special thing, and put is away until you can look at it with a smile. I have not been able to move anything yet. His food is Still on the counter along with his meds. I plan to donate them. I just cant bring myself to drop them off at his vets office. He went there for 11 years. He actually loved going there. We already planned on selling this summer, but now the thought of leaving all those memories behind paralyzes me. We do have to follow through however we have to they are putting a light rail behind our house where the walking path is. Where we had so many walks and memories.
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Faceinyou
Achilly wrote:
Faceinyou please keep one special thing, and put is away until you can look at it with a smile. I have not been able to move anything yet. His food is Still on the counter along with his meds. I plan to donate them. I just cant bring myself to drop them off at his vets office. He went there for 11 years. He actually loved going there. We already planned on selling this summer, but now the thought of leaving all those memories behind paralyzes me. We do have to follow through however we have to they are putting a light rail behind our house where the walking path is. Where we had so many walks and memories.


Thank you.
Most things of his were chewable toys and a few blankets....one thing I have are so many pics of him. I’d take them almost daily....I just thought he was so beautiful I couldn’t help it. Is almost like I knew he’d pass away early.. he was so young loving and affectionate I am lost for his attention . My purpose feels almost less than it should. I really miss him. I wonder if he knew he meant the universe to me?
Toby’s Dad
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Achilly
I'm sure he did, they are so intiuitive. I'm hoping the same for my boy Chance. I hope he knew what he meant to us. We scheduled our lives around him.. And I would gladly do it again.
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Broken1
Guys,
 the last almost 14 yrs of my life came to a stop for my boys (have 3 just had to put down 1,Baby) from 34 to now 47,I stopped going out,I blew off plans,I’m a huge movie person and I barely went,when I did go mom was there w them,they were almost NEVER left alone,my friend just told me yesterday “I thought you lost your mind” and then i have a aunt and uncle that aren’t animal lovers and they’d say :you need to get a life” ya know what? The love and affection they gave me was my life,THEY were my life!!! Then I’d think to myself why is what I’m doing w my life bothering everybody? If it dont bother me,WHY is it bothering you? If i was out and I’d hit traffic,id go crazy cuz that was minutes my Boys were waiting for me,even tho they were w my mom who they love and gives them treat non stop plus they knew how to work her they had her fooled lol!!! And like Achilly said “I’d gladly do it again” and I still am I have 2 boys still here,one is his liter mate and the other has the same dad.As a mater of fact,i looked into his liter mate brothers eyes last night and said “Baby if you are in there please know I love you so much,i miss you so much and I’m so sorry for what I had to do”.after 3 days I finally wanted to eat,i opened my fridge and there was his last plate of food that he didnt eat,that ended that!!! I dont want to eat,I dont want to shower,I definitely dont want to sleep,this is pain ive never felt...and again like Achilly said “I hope he knew what he meant to us” God only knows how I’m hurting and missing him.I actually want to call vets office and see if hes still there and if so go see him and hold him again...

your broken friend,
Jimmy
Ill never be the same...
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Faceinyou
Broken1 wrote:
Guys,
 the last almost 14 yrs of my life came to a stop for my boys (have 3 just had to put down 1,Baby) from 34 to now 47,I stopped going out,I blew off plans,I’m a huge movie person and I barely went,when I did go mom was there w them,they were almost NEVER left alone,my friend just told me yesterday “I thought you lost your mind” and then i have a aunt and uncle that aren’t animal lovers and they’d say :you need to get a life” ya know what? The love and affection they gave me was my life,THEY were my life!!! Then I’d think to myself why is what I’m doing w my life bothering everybody? If it dont bother me,WHY is it bothering you? If i was out and I’d hit traffic,id go crazy cuz that was minutes my Boys were waiting for me,even tho they were w my mom who they love and gives them treat non stop plus they knew how to work her they had her fooled lol!!! And like Achilly said “I’d gladly do it again” and I still am I have 2 boys still here,one is his liter mate and the other has the same dad.As a mater of fact,i looked into his liter mate brothers eyes last night and said “Baby if you are in there please know I love you so much,i miss you so much and I’m so sorry for what I had to do”.after 3 days I finally wanted to eat,i opened my fridge and there was his last plate of food that he didnt eat,that ended that!!! I dont want to eat,I dont want to shower,I definitely dont want to sleep,this is pain ive never felt...and again like Achilly said “I hope he knew what he meant to us” God only knows how I’m hurting and missing him.I actually want to call vets office and see if hes still there and if so go see him and hold him again...

your broken friend,
Jimmy



I feel for you as well. Your pets are your love. It never stops. They would not want you hurt . I’m trying to remind myself of this every time I sink low into horrific sadness . Hardest thing and I’ve lost ...and I’ve both parents At a young age, brother, sister and my other dog. I have zero immediate family members left so I put alot into my baby dog who was only 4. One thing is he loved me didn’t want me hurt...wouldn’t want me to suffer. My little selfless dog was my protector in so many ways. I’m not letting the love he gave me be for nothing. I’m here with you and I can’t shake off losing my dog..maybe never. I got a right to feel sad and down..... My will to keep going has definitely been affected . I keep saying would my dog want that for me? No he would not. This and my love for him is all I have to hang in to. It’s really really hard to say the least. I just want you to know I’m right here with you!!!
Toby’s Dad
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Broken1
Faceinyou,
 i also am beating myself up over losing my patience w him! He started coughing bad from the collapsed trachea 11/24 I have not had a full night sleep since.up every couple of hours to walk him,to comfort him,to reposition him. the crazy part is,he was such a good boy even sick on meds,he wouldn’t pee in the house. he had 3 accident in the 3 months being sick but he was drug’d heavily.so I’d have to walk him and most the time his back legs would go out or hed like “fish tail” and just sit and look at me.there were nights I’d lose my patience and yell “Baby cmon” or I’d shake him and say “baby cmon fight it” (NOT NO WHERE near shaking hard NO WHERE near) Or yell “BABY” thinking startle him it’ll stop.I have a friend that had dog w same issue and he said “Jim my wife and I did same exact thing and most times it would snap him out of it” so I felt a little comfort in that because hes is a kind,gentle,church going soul.I really was sleep deprived but thats no excuse,the poor boy was suffering more pain then I was losing my precious sleep.after I’d pray over him and bless him w holy water we‘d go up to bed about 8pm,11pm would be the first few walk. 8pm,11pm,1am to about 3am I’d be myself “ok baby you gotta go I love you cmon“ but then I’d just pass out from being exhausted and the 5am,6am,7am I wasn’t myself, I’d be angry,I’d say things I KNEW I’d regret but I felt like the devil took over my body,as SOON I said something or acted like a idiot I’d say “I’m sorry baby i love you Daddy’s a A**hole”.then the next day I’d apologize all day long,treats all day long.People keep saying “you were sleep deprived,its normal,people do it with their children”,I just cant forgive myself,it wasn’t his fault.my friend just told me “Jim you lost your temper a handful of times and gave him almost 14 years of love you think he remembers that? You think those few times erases all that love?”.I just cant forgive myself ,i feel like a complete POS ,its eating me up!!! 

Your broken friend,
jimmy
Ill never be the same...
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Faceinyou
Your feelings are all quite normal guilt , should have could have I didn’t I did...why did I

Please take care ...take it easy on yourself.
Toby’s Dad
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