This is probably the 2nd post I've ever made here.
I had a sad moment yesterday. I felt it start early, and I couldn't pull myself out of bed until the middle of the day. When it got close to the evening, I figured I'd distract myself and get into the room we used for storage. We were planning on moving into a new rental home soon, and I figured I'd repack some things, organize them better since my boyfriend did most of the packing last time since he worked from home and I didn't.
I found a frame I hadn’t seen before, but I think I remember my boyfriend saying someone gave it to him. I think it was my mom.
It said “I love my rescue” on it.
I never got to put a picture in it.
I mean, I’m sure I could have used it in the future, but that was for her. That was a frame bought for Sawyer.
I ended up standing at the trash can for a while and I realized it was one of those "now or never" moments. I dropped it in there as fast as I could. I saw a plastic bag from the grocery store still sitting on the counter and I ran for it, threw open the cabinet door and I grabbed everything I could that had been sitting in there since September. Flea and tick medication, heartguard, her steroids and antibiotics from when she started to become noticeably off, her fluid meds for her tummy. Pumpkin digestion treats, her favorite apple treats, her hip and joint treats we got when we thought it was originally her knees that were the cause. I tied off the bag, stuffed it into the trash and ran into the bathroom.
I cried. I hadn't done that for a while.
I kept her toys I had in there, though. Some toys I can’t give up.
There’s more good memories in those.
I still haven’t gotten her a nice urn or memory box.
She’s still in the white plastic one they sent her back in.
She deserves better, but I’m just afraid that when I pick one it won’t be good enough.
I'm just still a little lost.
I'm just still in shock how there are abusive, sick people out there that don't deserve to have a pet that have been able to keep their animal longer than I have.
11 months. That's all I had.
11 months, for a dog that was maybe 2 years old. I just wanted a bit more time.
I miss her, so bad.