I thought I’d experience more life with you, I never imagined you’d pass away. You always seemed invincible to me.
My best friend, Carmen, passed away last month. I never expected it. I was a lonely child, at 13 and her presence in my life was one I cherished. We quickly became inseparable.
She was with me through so much. From the nervousness of high school to my moves from new homes. She was my rock when I went through my abusive relationship as a teen and my sleepy buddy before bed. She’d always wait to fall asleep for the night, she wouldn’t until I was tucked in and cuddling her so we’d fall asleep together.
Her favorite things in the world were definitely her walks and her treats. The excitement she’d get when her leash would be put on and her little legs trying to run as fast as she can. The way she’d sneak into her treats to get extra hoping I wouldn’t notice. How she loved to sunbathe and role in the grass, I regret not letting her sunbathe for longer in her final days.
I know she’s not hurting anymore, the cancer isn’t taking her over anymore. She lived a good 12 years, loved and cared for. She’s in a place now where she’s free of pain and suffering. Where she has endless treats and grass to run. Where she can meet up with her parents finally.
And even though I know she’s in a better place now, I miss her. I selfishly wish I could see her one last time. Kiss her forehead and tell her I love her again. Put her favorite sweater on and go for a walk. But I can’t and I never will be able to again.
And I miss her. I really do. If anyone reads this, thank you. I know Carmen appreciates another person knowing of her life and I appreciate you reading my feelings. Thank you.