scruffy
First of all thank you for your comments and encouragement in my other posts. Today I was riding on a city bus when the memories of Miss Kitty flooded my mind and I broke down and cried. People might think I'm some sort of wimp, but I'm not. People who love animals and have a place in their heart for pets will understand how I'm feeling right now. People who don't love animals and couldn't care less what happens to them, they will never understand how I'm feeling right now. I have friends on both sides of the fence. Some of my friends truly understand me, and they give me the space to express my grief. I have other friends who say stuff like "it's just a cat get over it." 

Late this afternoon I was walking home from a friends house (a friend who understands my feelings) My heart was heavy and my eyes were sad as I walked over the hill and down into the valley where I live. As I was walking, God put something into my heart that helped to remove a small piece of the pain that my heart was feeling. 

Here's what God put into my heart . . . He said . . . .
David which would you rather have? Memories of Miss Kitty when she was living and playful and loving you? Or memories of seeing Miss Kitty dead and lifeless? 

Just those few simple words made so much sense to me. I would much rather have the memories of her while she was filled with life and love. Seeing her dead and lifeless body would rob me of the happy memories I have of her.
I immediately thanked God for his help. It doesn't remove the pain of loosing Miss Kitty. But it does help make it more bearable. And that's important to me right now as I come to grips with what's happened to her. 

One more thing I'd like to share with you before I go. Please don't be fooled by a strong appetite. I checked with a vet and I was told that a ravenous appetite can actually be a sign that something is terribly wrong. Miss Kitty had a ravenous appetite which I mistakenly believed was a good sign. I fed Miss Kitty twice a day, and she would rapidly gobble up her food. She wasn't eating in a leisurely pace. I've never seen a cat eat so fast as Miss Kitty did. I mistook her ravenous appetite as a good sign that she was doing ok when in fact she was trying to build up her strength to fight her weakening condition. Her eating so quickly fooled me. If you suspect your precious pet is having medical problems, please don't rely on a strong appetite as being a sign that your pet is doing ok. It could be the same mistake I made that eventually cost Miss Kitty her life. 

Sincerely,
David
Miss Kitty's friend

The pic below is me in the red shirt with my friends. You can see Miss Kitty sitting on the arm of the chair. She was family.
She enjoyed being around my friends and my friends all loved her too. Miss Kitty played with my dogs and my dogs always enjoyed playing with her. Miss Kitty is missed by so many people. She truly was one of a kind. I loved her dearly, and I still do. Pet's have their ways of creating a special home for themselves in our hearts. And when they're gone, they live on within our hearts. 
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TootiesGuardian
Dear David,

You brought tears to my eyes.  Bless your sweet heart!  I'm so sorry about Miss Kitty.  I was so hoping she would have come home to you.  I'm so very sorry for what you're going through.  I know the pain is intense.

Yes, being an animal person, as we all are here, we know the special bond you had with Miss Kitty.  There's nothing like it.  Even the bond I have for my kids, who I love more than my own life, doesn't compare with the special bond I've had with my special animal babies.  Especially Tootie. 

As far as the friends that said, "it's just a cat, get over it."  Shoot!  They wouldn't be my friends anymore.  Losing Miss Kitty was not like losing a family member.  Losing Miss Kitty was losing a family member.  She was your family in every way.  Whether she was 4 legged or not.

As far as some of your friends suggesting you're a wimp.  I could sure think of some things to say to them.  You are no such thing!  You are a kind and loving person.  We all understand that Miss Kitty was your baby. 

My husband loved our beloved Tootie as much as I did.  He cried when she passed away.  And let me tell you, he is a big tough old cowboy.  He loves cats and he especially loved our Tootie.

My heart goes out to you David.  I'm so sorry for the pain and grief you are having to bear.

Sherry

Tootie ~ Sep. 1, 2000 - Sep. 4, 2010
Shine on you beautiful diamond!
Blueboy ~ Feb. 14, 1989 - Dec. 31, 1993
Always in my heart!
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judylinn
Dear David, you have a heart of a true man! to love like that, and not be afraid to show it. you are courageous. You also write very well,  kudo's to you.
You are so right, My Maddies appetitie increased alot the last while before she passed. The vet thought it was the cancer. that is what happens sometimes.  Please dont beat yourself up, animals, don't always show they are sick, until they are really quite sick. Remember your love with her. she is still with you, only she is your angel cat now.  You can reach her by going into your heart, where all that love is....there is still a chord of love that binds you together.
I am just so amazed by you. Thanks for sharing your pictures....and I love all the doggies too. Keep coming back here as often as you need to. we care. Judy
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donnalee
Dear David,
Ditto on what the others just said!  You are the OPPOSITE of a wimp.  As Judy said, you are a true man.  Some guys feel they can't show that side of themself, they are afraid it might make them appear to be weak or soft or something.  Wow, are they wrong!  It takes a strong guy that has real confidence to be honest enough to show his love for animals and express the sadness that comes with losing one.
I know you are young and nowhere near marriage yet!  But, I'll tell you the truth, I never felt more love towards my husband than when he was showing love and tenderness towards our animals.  It just showed me a kind, gentle side that just made me feel happy.  I'm sure someone very important to you in the future will love that characteristic in you, as well.  Hope I wasn't inappropriately personal there...that was not my intention at all. 
I'm so very happy God spoke to you today.  It also means you were listening with an open heart.  I know you will still feel sadness and miss her so much.  As you said, it doesn't remove the pain but makes it bearable. That is all we can hope for in those first few weeks....months.  David, you hang in there and we are all here to support and encourage you in any way we can. 
I also love the pictures!  Thanks for sharing. 

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