mel_1417
This is the 1st day in 8 yrs without Oliver and yet everywhere i turn he is there. His leash, his favorite spot on the floor where i still shuffle my feet as not to step on him (he was never big on dog beds). The spot in my husband's truck where he sat limp on the way to the ER. His dog bowl, the back yard that seems so empty with just Max in it. Max hopeful look he gets when we let him out to potty and he scans the yard for his buddies who will never return. His medications on the counter ready for him to take to heal his body that isn't with us anymore. His rabies and ID tag that once adorned his collar is now making a new home on my key chain. And how i miss him. The things he did that used to annoy me i now would gladly pay any amount to have back. I long to hug him and pat his head. Tell him over and over how much he meant to me. Hope he knows. I try to smile because i know him and he would never want to see all these tears. Miss you friend.
-MB
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Sampson
My sincere condolences Mel! All of those reminders are so painful and yet they let you know that Max was here and always will be - your heart. Please take care of yourself.
S.
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bettie
Mel- I totally feel for you. I just put my Fred to sleep yesterday...it was very sudden and crazy how he got sick. I feel guilty for when I used to be annoyed by some of his behavior. I had to pack his things up right away however, even without his things around I could swear that I have felt him next to me. I would've given anything to save him. I've read that the animal spirit can linger for a year; I hope he's around to know what a hole he has left in our lives...I have two other dogs and they are also having a hard time with him leaving. You're not alone. I believe Oliver can see you and he knows as he's always known what a good parent and friend you were.
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mel_1417
Today I'm going to mow the yard. He will not be there to bark everytime the "lawn mower monster" is started. I know it's early in my loss, but it feel right now like it will never stop hurting. Max (the dog we still have here thank goodness) has been going everywhere with us. I can see he is hurting and that kills me. Im trying to keep his mind occupied and i hate seeing him in that yard all alone. It's probably the most painful reminder there is. Trying to smile because i know Oliver would want that. He always wanted me to be happy.
-MB
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