Cynthia_H

Three weeks tomorrow, I lost my beloved Mia.

I adopted Mia and her brother just over 13 years ago. Mia was always a very little cat, looked more like a 9 month old kitten than a senior cat. Her and her brother were semi-feral when I adopted them, but with love and care, they both became very affectionate to us and people they got to know.  Mia was the sweetest, funniest, and most affectionate cat (as is her brother).

About 3 months ago, she was diagnosed with an cancerous tumour on her lungs and also a heart condition. It was a matter of keeping her comfortable and monitoring her quality of life, both conditions were terminal. Mia was such a little fighter, she just kept keeping on, was eating, drinking, using the box and trying to keep up her normal routine.  She never complained or showed any pain, she was as loving as always.

But her little body gave out; the last day of her life she was coughing up blood all night and in morning would not eat, drink or walk around. It was time, I could see it in her eyes her spirit was still fighting it but now she was scared and in pain, it was her time to go.

Since I lost her, the pain is enormous. She was my daughter and I loved her more than I can say. I miss her so much. I have to be strong for her brother, who is like my son, but right now it is very, very hard. I cry all the time, I miss her so much, I just want her back which I know is impossible.

I keep thinking of a Joan Baez song I heard with respect to the loss of my beloved Mia:

I never dreamed you’d leave in summer
I thought you would go then come back home
I thought the cold would leave by summer
But my quiet nights will be spent alone
You said there would be warm love in springtime
That was when you started to be cold
I never dreamed you’d leave in summer
But now I find myself all alone
You said then you’d be alive in autumn
Then you said you’d be the one to see the way
No, no no no no I never dreamed you’d leave in summer
But now I find my love has gone away
Why couldn't you stay?

My sympathy is will everyone who have lost their beloved pet.

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MyBella
Hi Cynthia,

I am so, so sorry for the loss of your precious Mia, it warmed my heart with the way you describe her looking like a kitten than a senior girl, that must be from the loving home and life you provided her and her brother.
The pain is enormous, your heart is shattered into a million pieces, the pain you are suffering is so new and so raw still, three weeks is no time at all. Grieving has no time limit Cynthia, so there is no need to rush or push yourself, visit here often as we truly understand the pain you are suffering, we are here for you, this place has some of the most wonderful people ever and we will do all we can to help you through this horrible time of your life.
You posted a beautiful song, yet sad at the same time, but unlike in the song, Mia is with you still, just in a different form, she surrounds you and her brother with her love still, the love you have for Mia and the love she has for you, never ends Cynthia....it even grows stronger, hard to believe isn't it, how our love for them grows even stronger after they leave, but it does.....such a beautiful thing.Feel Mia's love deep in your heart, never stop talking to her, she is listening for your voice so let her know how much you love her.
In time, I hope you are able to use the wonderful and loving memories that you and Mia shared to help mend your broken heart, no rush, it takes time, the best you can hope for right now is baby steps, but each little step you take is a huge accomplishment.
I am so, so sorry for the loss of your precious Mia, sending positive healing thoughts your way.

Sincerely, Don & Vera

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Cynthia_H
Thank you Don and Vera for you kind and caring words.  

I have been praying and meditating.  Last night my my meditation included visualizing Mia and then seeing myself placing her in my heart.  That meditation was very peaceful.   Take care, Cynthia.  
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