Jimgouin
i'm so heartbroken, less than 2 days ago, I came home from work and found our 12 year old yellow lab dead in our garden tub. I was hysterical as you can imagine! The tub was full of water, water still running, and Sandy laying in bottom of tub, mouth bleeding. A couple of teeth were broken and bleeding. I almost never got the stupid water turned off! The shut off handle was broken!!! It was the most unimaginable scene, sheer panic to help my baby girl!! I finally got water off and got drain opened! I'm shaking her and trying to revive her, trying to massage her heart, just trying to do anything to bring back my Sandy girl!! My husband got home a few minutes later and made me stop!! She was gone!!
What you need to know about Sandy is, she was absolutely terrified of storms!! We had meds for her but we couldn't give it every morning anticipating there might be a storm. There was a storm that afternoon and that was the reason I was later getting home. I work in Atlanta and traffic is horrible and soooo much worse when the weather is bad!! Sandy had major hip issues. She was a very large American Lab, about 95 pounds! You are probably   thinking she was fat but not at all, vet said she was in great shape for her age, just a big girl. She was beautiful, that very white yellow lab like you see in the toilet paper commercial....anyway, with her hip issues it was a struggle for her to jump on the couch these days. To take a ride, we had to use a ramp to get her in the back seat of our truck. The garden tub is high so it is so hard for me to understand how she managed to get herself into the tub!!! All, I can think of is she was so scared of the storm, her adrenaline kicked in and she was able to pull herself up!! She had never, to our knowledge done this before when we were working!! Apparently, she hit the turn on knobs either getting in or trying to get out. Both hot and cold water was on when I arrived, so I pray to God she wasn't burned! But, one thing I do know, she was panicked and tried to cut the water off!! The knobs and faucet had her teeth marks all over where she was desperately trying to get the water to stop!! That's how her teeth got broken!! it speaks for itself how scared she was!!! OMG, if I had just been home to help her!!! 
Sandy was old and if she had gotten sick and we had to put her down, that would have been awful but it would be easier because we would have done something to stop her pain. But for her to pass away so tragic it will haunt me the rest of my days!! I just don't know how to cope with this. Please help.

Martha
James gouin
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jmrlily
Martha,
I'm so sorry for your tragic loss. My heart cries for you. I know there's not much anyone can say right now to ease the pain,please don't let guilt overwhelm you. You could not have known. I had a lot of guilt over Molly,my chocolate lab. She was hit by a car right in front of me one night when I wasn't paying attention to where she was and she had been left outside too long. I can understand some of what you are feeling.

Please come here when you need to talk. You will find understanding here.

Jane

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nina555
Martha....oh gosh I was in tears reading this...I am so sorry.   My heart totally breaks for you as I feel your pain and guilt as I have been feeling for the last three weeks.  My darling Cody was attacked by a dog at our favorite cafe....I went to pick him up but he wriggled free and then was attacked....the guilt I felt and still do is the most horrifying thing of all..and the flash backs.   I keep going over the 'what ifs' and it drove me to contemplate suicide...but I knew this is not what Cody would have wanted.       I am trying to learn that some things are just beyond our control...but it is so hard, as we protect our pets as much as we can...Martha....you will also resonate with this whole post and the comments.  I am getting counselling and also have had some phone counselling with pet loss and grief counsellors....I think when we have this added trauma that we have witnessed, we need all the help we can get.   The first week is the hardest...the pain is excruciating....I needed Valium to help as I just couldnt bare the pain.    Ask for all the help you need...I am not taking as much Valium now as the pain is not as severe.....now I just have a hard, sad knot constantly in my stomach....but the rollercoaster of grief is something we just have to hang on to dear life for.....I am so sorry for your losses....I try to tell myself my boy knew how much I loved him....and that he would forgive me.  
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HeidiAngel
Jimgouin wrote:
i'm so heartbroken, less than 2 days ago, I came home from work and found our 12 year old yellow lab dead in our garden tub. I was hysterical as you can imagine! The tub was full of water, water still running, and Sandy laying in bottom of tub, mouth bleeding. A couple of teeth were broken and bleeding. I almost never got the stupid water turned off! The shut off handle was broken!!! It was the most unimaginable scene, sheer panic to help my baby girl!! I finally got water off and got drain opened! I'm shaking her and trying to revive her, trying to massage her heart, just trying to do anything to bring back my Sandy girl!! My husband got home a few minutes later and made me stop!! She was gone!!
What you need to know about Sandy is, she was absolutely terrified of storms!! We had meds for her but we couldn't give it every morning anticipating there might be a storm. There was a storm that afternoon and that was the reason I was later getting home. I work in Atlanta and traffic is horrible and soooo much worse when the weather is bad!! Sandy had major hip issues. She was a very large American Lab, about 95 pounds! You are probably   thinking she was fat but not at all, vet said she was in great shape for her age, just a big girl. She was beautiful, that very white yellow lab like you see in the toilet paper commercial....anyway, with her hip issues it was a struggle for her to jump on the couch these days. To take a ride, we had to use a ramp to get her in the back seat of our truck. The garden tub is high so it is so hard for me to understand how she managed to get herself into the tub!!! All, I can think of is she was so scared of the storm, her adrenaline kicked in and she was able to pull herself up!! She had never, to our knowledge done this before when we were working!! Apparently, she hit the turn on knobs either getting in or trying to get out. Both hot and cold water was on when I arrived, so I pray to God she wasn't burned! But, one thing I do know, she was panicked and tried to cut the water off!! The knobs and faucet had her teeth marks all over where she was desperately trying to get the water to stop!! That's how her teeth got broken!! it speaks for itself how scared she was!!! OMG, if I had just been home to help her!!! 
Sandy was old and if she had gotten sick and we had to put her down, that would have been awful but it would be easier because we would have done something to stop her pain. But for her to pass away so tragic it will haunt me the rest of my days!! I just don't know how to cope with this. Please help.

Martha
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William
Martha
What a traumatic story. It gave me the chills to read it. I'm glad you wrote it because part of healing from a trauma is to talk it out, write it out etc.
Somewhere deep inside you know this isn't your fault. So soon after an incident we can't see it that way. We wish we could turn back time and re do the whole day. You never expected anything like this. This was a tragic accident.
You loved your baby. With time and perhaps some counseling you will see it clearer. But, that takes a long time.
My heart breaks over your story.
Please take care of yourself.
💕❤️
Kim
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Jimgouin
Today is Monday and I didn't return to work, maybe tomorrow.....I just want to thank you all for your caring words to someone you don't even know. It's so appreciated and taken to heart. I know so many of you have felt this pain and I'm so very sorry for your loses and pray God will heal your hearts. Thank you!

Martha
James gouin
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miztina249
Jimgouin wrote:
Today is Monday and I didn't return to work, maybe tomorrow.....I just want to thank you all for your caring words to someone you don't even know. It's so appreciated and taken to heart. I know so many of you have felt this pain and I'm so very sorry for your loses and pray God will heal your hearts. Thank you!

Martha


How are you doing today Martha?
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lettersatlarge

Oh no, oh no, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for the loss of your Sandy and for the trauma you've experienced. I know its beyond difficult right now to accept that this was out of your control and not your fault, but please understand that you could not have known what would transpire that day. Sandy had never tried to do something like that, you didn't even know she could, she probably didn't know she could. What happened is absolutely awful but no one could have anticipated it. Please try to take care of yourself during this painful time. Since this event was especially traumatic, please consider seeing a therapist or a professional to work out your feelings and thoughts. Everyone here understands that this was not "just a pet" you've lost and that you're in very real pain and mourning.

 

When you finally feel ready, we would all love to know more about Sandy while she was here.

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Jimgouin
Hi all, I went back to work today. I finally took something to help me sleep last night, sleep helps! I am so exhausted from emotions. My coworkers were so supportive, they left a card on my desk and I cried from all of the sweet wishes. It helps so much to have friends. Just working through it all. Our Mickey Boy is helping to ease the pain. We got him a stuffed animal and put Sandy's collar on it. He has been carrying it around and sniffing. I hope it helps him, we sometimes forget the pets left behind hurt too. He's never been without our Sandy. Thank you all!

Martha
James gouin
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Ozziemom
Jimgouin wrote:
Hi all, I went back to work today. I finally took something to help me sleep last night, sleep helps! I am so exhausted from emotions. My coworkers were so supportive, they left a card on my desk and I cried from all of the sweet wishes. It helps so much to have friends. Just working through it all. Our Mickey Boy is helping to ease the pain. We got him a stuffed animal and put Sandy's collar on it. He has been carrying it around and sniffing. I hope it helps him, we sometimes forget the pets left behind hurt too. He's never been without our Sandy. Thank you all!

Martha
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Ozziemom
Martha so sorry for your loss of sandy your story is a very sad one and I am so sorry that it all happend that way my heart goes out to you. Sleep does help grieving takes a lot out of you it's emotionally exhausting. Very nice of your co-workers to be supportive that sure does help and that they understand how much you are hurting. That is a geat idea with using sandys collar to ease mickey boys grief give mickey boy Lots of love and let him love you back I wish peace in your heart Martha again my condolences
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