summerwind4
Zoey,
It's been 14 months since you left my world.
Daddy misses you so much i can no longer deal with this pain.
So many things have changed in this past year, but the grief of losing you is not something i care to go on with.
I want to see you in Heaven but i am afraid that my wanting to take my life is going to jepordize that from happening.
It's Sunday today, and the guilt and hollowness of your missing in my life is stronger than ever before.
Please forgive me for having had hobbies and what not. I know deep in my heart that Mommy loved and gave you as much love if not more that ever when i was not there.
I can't stop thinking of you. I cry my eyes out when looking at your pictures.
You were the Angel that saved us all from all evil.
I miss you baby girl.
I love you so much............life is so unfair

Zoey you will always be in Daddies heart
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Ollies_Grieving_Mama
I am so sorry that you are still in such agony after 14 months. I don't know her story (please feel free to share), but I do know that if she loved you as much as you loved her, she would be really sad to see you being so sad. I know there's a lot of stigma around it, but taking care of my mental health has really helped me to process. For a while, I needed tranquilizers, but am not on them anymore. I also started a new antidepressant, which is working really well, and started seeing a counselor to work through things. I am still sad every single day about the big guy that I lost, because he really was the rock for both me and my remaining girlie, but he was determined to be happy every single day, so I'm trying my best to honor his wishes and do the same. It really might be helpful for you to find a way to finally get some peace.
Ollie's Grieving Mama
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GingisMom
I am so deeply, deeply sorry for your loss of Zoey. It seems like forever ago since I've seen her yet oddly enough it also feels like just yesterday when it happened. It has been 15 months since my Gingi left me. So we both went thru the worst heartbreak at the same time so I feel your pain and understand completely what you are still going through. How did Zoey pass? What kind of dog was she? My Ginger and God have given me so many signs such as white feathers wherever I go. Once a cloud formation appreared that looked just like her sitting in the sky within seconds of hearing someone (I imagine it was God) tell me to look up as I was gardening. It quickly left but I am extremely thankful for it happening last year as I was grieving and I was able to get a couple pictures. Maybe you can ask Zoey for signs. I know it is very hard to get through the pain of losing our little soulmates. If your Zoey was anything like my girl, Zoey wouldn't want you to feel any guilt. She was probably so happy you had hobbies and hey, she prob got spoiled by her mommy & couldn't wait to hang out with you when you were done. I have guilt too for things but I have to keep reminding myself of all the things I did for her and places I took her too, all the cuddling, all the love we shared and overall when looking at the big picture I really shouldn't have guilt but it is easier for me to tell you not to have it than for me to take my own advice. Zoey knows you loved her and gave her a wonderful home. She is probably trying to comfort you somehow from Heaven...You have to open to the signs. It can be a butterfly landing right next to you...a hummingbird...a dove...Someday We WILL be reunited with them. Life is still beautiful all around us. I'm not sure if you have other pets but I have my other dog here still who just turned 14 y.o. and knew I had to get through the pain for her...Well, to be honest, she got me thru the pain because I have guilt for neglecting her for about 9 months during my grieving...I felt I just couldn't do the things we used to do with Ginger or go visit the places we used to for walks. I had to keep praying for God to get me through it all. Somehow God placed another puppy into my life on 7-8-2017 unexpectedly (1 yr 4 days after Gingi left me)...that was abandoned in a parking lot that got into my friend's apartment but she could not keep her. I said no at first because I didn't think I could ever be ready but then my friend sent me a picture of this new dog and she is black and white and same breed, even with a white tip on her black tail just like Ginger, so I just felt I had to have her. She has been a wonderful addition. She even has some of Ginger's traits although Ginger can never be replaced. I am not going to lie and say I don't think of Ginger every day, because I sure do. I even still have pretty bad meltdowns over even...But I know God is giving her a wonderful life in Heaven and she will be the one to greet me someday when it is my time. I'm not sure if you ever write a tribute to your Zoey on this site during the Monday night Candlelight cermonies, but it helps tremendously to read the prayers of others, and you can send prayers up to your Zoey. Please know Zoey wants you to be happy and enjoy your life. I am sure she thanks you so very much for loving her as much as you do and giving her a beautiful time here on earth. I pray God gives you His strength to carry on and feel His love and know that He is taking amazing care of her until you both are reunited. God bless your Zoey's sweet soul. And God bless you and Zoey's mom too.
Denise (Sweet Ginger's Mom)
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summerwind4
Thank you both for the inspiring words.

Zoey was the runt of the litter.
Chihuahua decent and just about the most adorable of God's creatures i have ever laid eyes on.
My daughter called us on March 20 2004 to say she had a dog she was bringing us........knowing how i get so attached to animals in a short time i said "No, i do not want any pets........absolutely not!!!!"
Well the vote was 5 against 1 and she came over with this little unwanted pup. Being the runt, no one wanted her. Big loss for those that looked at her this way.
When i laid eyes on this 6 ounce fur baby i was instantly mesmerized. 
Zoey instantly took to us. 1st night was a gas as we bought her a bed to sleep in right beside ours, but no way, she scratched on the side of our bed until we scooped her up and laid her on the pillows between us...............stayed that way until the last day....LOL
This little doll changed the way we walked (we learned to slide our feet throughout the house vz taking steps) and everything else we were accustomed too.
Zoey's wardrobe took half the closet, not to mention the car seats and anything else she wanted.
Had to spell the word "cookie" in front of her. 
Root beer balls were her favorite. When she saw one in my mouth it was chase city around the house until i conceded to sitting down with her and letting her lick away....in moderation of course.............Oh God i miss you baby girl..
PICT0011 copy.jpg
Zoey you will always be in Daddies heart
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Paulcougar1964
Hi Michael, I am so sorry to hear about Zoey, and about the pain her loss is causing you. I think many of us on this site can empathize with the pain of loss continuing to linger for months or even years. And you're so right, life is just flat unfair. I think the right therapist or grief counselor could help you with the mourning that you continue to experience. If you cannot/are not comfortable with that, you might get a couple of books on the grieving process from Amazon. And finally, I'm sure you've learned some things about grief and loss over the last 14 months. You could surely be of help to some other folks on this site who have recently lost pets - sometimes just reaching out and offering a word of condolence to someone else can help with our own mourning process. I'm so sorry about what you're going through...
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summerwind4
To all of you that have replied i want to say thank you.
Feeling the loss of yours and mine and your replies has helped me some here.
It is like losing a child.

Not a day goes by that i don't spend time thinking and begging God to return my baby.
I know that is not going to happen, but since posting here i have dreamed of her, and when she saw me in a place i have never seen she lit up and came running to me as if she had been waiting for this very moment.
I hope this is how it will be once i pass on.

My doctor has subscribed Zoloft, and while it curbs the emotional breakdowns i have, it does not stop the memories thank God.

You have all been so kind and i just want to express thanks for your kindness.

Zoey, daddy loves you more than life itself, and i hope we are reunited soon. I Love you baby girl.
I miss you licking the rootbeer balls we always shared.
I look at you everyday.
Zoey you will always be in Daddies heart
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summerwind4
Happy Birthday sweetheart.
Daddy misses you so much.
Hope to see you soon as it is my time to go.

Love you babygirl
-Daddy
Zoey you will always be in Daddies heart
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Paulcougar1964
Hello Michael,

I know you still miss your Zoey so much - I can't seem to shake the grief over the loss of my baby boy Mickey either. And yesterday my brother suddenly lost his beautiful golden retriever named Vegas. We love these magnificent creatures so much, and it hurts so very badly to lose their physical presence. But I think that they are watching over us and don't want us to suffer too long. Have you thought about adopting another little girl or boy who needs a good home? I'm sure you have so much to give, and any pup would be lucky to get to live with you. I hope you're doing ok, I know this has been so very hard for you. Lots of people on the rainbowsbridge are mourning Zoey with you, and are thinking about you during this difficult time.

Paul
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summerwind4
Paul,

Thank you so much for the kind thoughts and words.
Obviously you understand this as so many others here do.
I have had a lot of lifes up and downs, but nothing like losing our little ones has been more difficult. Our man's best friends are the most social and loving creatures. 
I do think about adopting, but we're just not ready. My work takes me to at least 3-4 customers homes during the day and i meet some of the most loveable furkids that it is inspiring even if for just a brief moment.
I hope you are doing well.

thx
Zoey you will always be in Daddies heart
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