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I_Will_Love_You_Forever

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Reply with quote  #31 

To My Sweet Little One,

Another day of missing you, my sweet little Parker. Not one day has gone by since you are not here that I have not thought about you. The days seem so long and yet it has been almost 6 months. I am still having a difficult time accepting you are not coming back.  Some days are very hard for me.  I fall backwards. I think over and over what I could have done better. I know it was to keep you home. I am feeling very bad and I am not forgiving myself.  I thought I did everything right, but I didn’t. Can you please forgive me?

I don’t know anymore how I feel. I am so sad that you are not here. I miss you so much. It never seems real. I didn’t spend much time with your brothers today. I need to because I know now how short your lives are and, in a moment, I can lose them, too. I don’t want to ever take them for granted. I took you for granted. I never imagined I would lose you, so young. Everything has changed for me. I’m sorry my little man.

I miss you so very much.  I Love You forever. 

Love, Mom

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TaazyBoy

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Reply with quote  #32 
Hugs, I am so sorry for your pain.
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I_Will_Love_You_Forever

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Posts: 72
Reply with quote  #33 
To My Dearest Sweet Little Peanut,
This is for you, My Love
 
I'll See You Again (song by Westlife)
 
Always you will be part of me
And I will forever feel your strength
When I need it most
You're gone now, gone but not forgotten
I can't say this to your face
But I know you hear
 
I'll see you again
You never really left
I feel you walk beside me
I know I'll see you again
 
When I'm lost, I'm missing you like crazy
And I tell myself I'm so blessed
To have had you in my life, my life
 
I'll see you again
You never really left
I feel you walk beside me
I know I'll see you again
 
When I had the time to tell you
I never thought I'd live to see the day
When the words I should have said
Would come to haunt me
In my darkest hour I tell myself
I'll see you again
 
I'll see you again
You never really left
I feel you walk beside me
I know I'll see you again
 
I'll see you again
You never really left
I feel you walk beside m know I'll see you again
 
I will see you again
I'll see you again
I miss you like crazy
You're gone but not forgotten
I'll never forget you
Someday I'll see you again
I feel you walk beside me
Never leave you, yeah
Gone but not forgotten
I feel you by my side
No this is not goodbye
 
Songwriters: Andrew Gerard Hill / Michelle Lena Poole
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I_Will_Love_You_Forever

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Posts: 72
Reply with quote  #34 
My heart is broken into a centillion pieces.  It would take more than a lifetime to put it together.  I cry as many tears. 

. . . "Please help me mend my broken heart
And let me live again."
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I_Will_Love_You_Forever

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Posts: 72
Reply with quote  #35 

To My Little Mischief-maker, I am missing you so.

 

. . . Now if there's a smile on my face
It's only there trying to fool the public.

. . . Really I'm sad, oh I'm sadder than sad
You're gone and I'm hurting so bad
Like a clown I appear to be glad (sad, sad, sad, sad)

. . . Just like Pagliacci did
I try to keep my surface hid
Smiling in the crowd I try
But in my lonely room I cry
The tears of a clown

I LOVE YOU,

Mom

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FishChris

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Posts: 30
Reply with quote  #36 
Hello I_Will_Love_You_Forever. I am so sorry that you, I, and everyone here has to go through this. Their is nothing I could really say that is going to take your pain away, but in time, it will  get "different". 

I do believe it is infinitely better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all. In fact, I believe that is a big part of our human experience. People often spend a lot of time trying to figure out why we are here in the first place ? I think loving relationships are a BIG part of it.

As much as I miss our Sadie Mae right now (crying as I type this) I would not trade the time we spent together for anything in the world !!!

Not sure of your religious beliefs, but "I believe" your souls will meet again 😉

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Jasmines_Mom

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Reply with quote  #37 
I'm sorry for the loss of your baby.  I can tell you love him very much.  I'm sure he knew that.  I wish there was something I could say to take away your pain but I know that is impossible.  Please take care of yourself.

"Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes.  Because for those who love with their heart and soul, there is no separation."  - Rumi



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I miss you every minute of every day, my sweet baby Jasmine.
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I_Will_Love_You_Forever

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Reply with quote  #38 

My Sweet Little Boy,

I LOVE YOU FOREVER

gods rainbow (2)smaller.jpg    

 




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I_Will_Love_You_Forever

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Posts: 72
Reply with quote  #39 
To My Lovable Little Boy and Wonderful Friend,

I miss you dearly. You are on my mind every single day. You are part of this family.  I cannot go a day without missing you. You missed out on a life that you truly enjoyed.  It has been so unfair to you. It's unfair to your brothers. To our home. You were taken. You were way too young. There are so many reasons you should be here.  It wasn't a higher power who made the decision.  Someone else, someone heartless made the choice to take you away from us by making a careless decision without consulting us.  One simple phone call and we would have been there to get you. You would be here now!  Healthy!  I have a hard time with this.  My little boy, you did not deserve this.  You loved everyone. 

Your Mom loves you so much, sometimes I can't sleep because at night I am missing you tremendously and then I think about this horrendous atrocity. I think and think, I hear your cries.  I could have been there to help you, to take you home, but you were kept from us. I never got to say goodbye. 


I'm so sorry my little one. I can't make it right. I can't fix it. That's what hurts so much.  It also hurts not knowing for sure if I will see you again.  Please send me a message. I need a sign of your love. The love you gave to all of us, all the time.  All of us together, couldn't give you back as much love and affection as you gave to us.  

My beloved Parker, please give us some signs. We miss you. You are always part of us.  You made us whole. Your strength, cuteness, devotion, and playfulness will live in my heart forever. 

I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH.  I MISS YOU SO VERY MUCH.  Y Y Y Y

Love,

Mom

Y Y Y

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I_Will_Love_You_Forever

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Posts: 72
Reply with quote  #40 
I wish I could feel exuberant during the holidays as I did this day last year.  That was 2 days before this nightmare began when my husband badgered me how urgently my dogs needed teeth cleaning. (Which was far from the truth.) I allowed him to let them get a pre-op and for him to take over my role taking care of MY dogs. In a few weeks, on Xmas Eve, my healthy, lovable, innocent 6-yr old dog would never come home alive. He was there only a short while and gone just like that. As if he was brought there to die. No explanation. No apology.

My world went dark for months especially after learning of the lies and broken laws. Here I am, a year later, feeling guilt and the darkness again. There is nothing for me to celebrate except that I cherish my 2 other dogs who desperately miss their Alpha brother. I have no children. My dogs are my children. I don't feel the holiday spirit. I am not the same. My spirit was broken the day I got that call. I still harbor resentment toward my husband and I grieve and feel differently about my loss than he. My dark place is somewhere he does not understand. So, for the next 5 or so weeks, I will be drifting in and out of my dark place.

I want the rest of you to enjoy your holiday the best you can in your situation. I don't wish the dark place on anyone.
~ Parker's Mom 

To my baby,

MY WORLD, MY EVERYTHING, MY LITTLE PARKER

LOVE NEVER DIES

It was your love that made me,
Your love that made me strong.
Now that you're no longer here,
Somehow, it all seems wrong.

You were my rock, my anchor,
It seemed you'd always be around.
But now that you have passed away,
Such sadness have I found.

Your guidance still instructs me, though,
Those lessons you would tell.
You might not have thought I listened,
But I listened very well.

Most of all, your actions
Set the example for my life
Of how to persevere with grace
Though joy and trials and strife.

So even though you're gone, I know
Your love will buoy me up
I'll keep you close in heart and soul
To overflow my cup.

Love never dies, they say,
Love endures forever.
And in each step of life I take,
We will remain together.

~ Unknown author

LOVE FOREVER,

MOM

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I_Will_Love_You_Forever

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Posts: 72
Reply with quote  #41 

TO MY SWEETHEART PARKER, FOREVER I WILL LOVE YOU

FOREVER YOU WILL BE NEAR TO MY HEART

TIME IS CATCHING UP TO WHEN I LOST YOU AND I KNOW I WILL ONCE AGAIN BE BROKEN.

I’M SORRY MY LITTLE PEANUT, MY HOLIDAYS DO NOT EXIST ANYMORE. YOUR BROTHERS ARE

MISSING YOU, TOO. NOTHING IS THE SAME HERE. THEY TOOK YOU FROM US, AND I ASK, “WHY?”

I LOVE YOU, MOM

 

I Only Wanted You

They say memories are golden
well maybe that is true.
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you,
a million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you,
you never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
no one could ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway
and heartache make a lane,
I’d walk the path to heaven
and bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again.

Author unknown

 

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Nika

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Posts: 2
Reply with quote  #42 
I am so sorry for your loss. My soul dog’s name was PARKER as well. Perfect name 😉 I lost him on 6/27/2019 the most difficult day of my life. He was with me for 14yrs and his passing shifted my reality. Life has changed so much and the pain and missing him has not even slightly subsided. I share in your grief and hope that all our pets are running around together pain-free at the rainbow bridge

Attached Images
jpeg 2D72516A-AA95-4837-8C43-4145E68460AE.jpeg (467.48 KB, 4 views)

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I_Will_Love_You_Forever

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Posts: 72
Reply with quote  #43 
Thank you Nika. 
I'm sorry about your Parker.  It is a unique name.  When was his picture taken?  My life has also changed and I am not the same.  I know what you mean about the most difficult day.  It is the worst to experience.  Mine is coming up. It was last Christmas Eve. He was a little over 6 years old and healthy.  Routine dental and never came home. I don't understand. It was a different vet and I strayed from my regular vet who knew my dogs since pups.  That's all I can make from it. Stick to who you trust.

I first adopted Leroy, my Beagle as a pup.  About a month later, I was asked to foster my 2 little guys, Chihuahua-Beagle pups, Parker and his brother, Porter while they healed after being neutered.  I fell in love with them and adopted them.  I kept their names. Parker and Leroy hit it off from the start and were the best of friends. As was Porter, his brother.  They both lost a great friend and I lost one, too.  I lost my little Alpha Dog, who was the life and sunshine in my home. My holiday last year was filled with fun and so many plans, but it was ruined.  This year, it will not exist.  I can't feel the spirit or the desire to celebrate anything.  I haven't stopped grieving since that dark day. I feel myself falling into a dark hole again. Reliving my decisions, what I should and should not have done. We always feel so responsible. I do feel responsible for not keeping him home. A regret I live with day after day.   I loved my "Little Peanut" Parker so very much and miss him every single day.

I do hope both Parkers have made friends and are playing at the Rainbow Bridge. I want to believe in it. Sometimes it's hard to believe I will ever see him again.  

Again, I'm sorry about Parker.  I hope you can make it through the holidays. This is a tough one for both of us, and many others here on the forum.

~ Parker's Mom

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Nika

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Posts: 2
Reply with quote  #44 
That picture was in 2018. He had Kidney Disease for the past 3 yrs and did pretty well for the most part. Then suspected lymphoma and as well age started catching up to him. He turned 14 in May. I had him since 9 weeks old. He was my heart and soul. I miss him so much and life is so different. This is my first Holidays without him and he loved Christmas. He was such a smart dog and he would go check his stocking every morning. I miss everything about him.

I am sorry you are having it rough as well. It is unfair at times the pain and sorrow but then I do realize just how lucky I am to have had this bond with him. I would give anything to have him back!!!!
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