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I_Will_Love_You_Forever

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Reply with quote  #1 

Hello my good little boy. I am missing you always. It's so unfair that you are not here. You are a wonderful little guy who loved us all and I ask why you aren't here with us. We all miss you. Your brothers don't talk, but I can see they know something isn't right. They know you're not here, just don't know where you are. 

We all miss and love you forever and ever

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I_Will_Love_You_Forever

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Reply with quote  #2 

I don't know how people get through this. Some people are good at it. I lack the skill of getting past the grieving. I am having a very difficult time. 

My wonderful boy I wish I could see you again. My denial is making it hard for me to accept you are really gone. I cry and think about having you here again. Oh how I miss you and can't believe you are really gone. Please know I love you dearly. 

I miss you so very much. 

Love Mom

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I_Will_Love_You_Forever

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Reply with quote  #3 

My sweet little boy. I think of you always. I wish I never had to come here to tell you how much you mean to me. I wish you were right here so I could hold you and show you my love. It's been difficult without you. I can't believe you were taken so young. The vet who did this will have his day. I just hope you were not in pain or fear. I never meant for you to suffer. 

My little boy it is quiet and sorrowful without you. I try to hold back the tears. I don't want you to feel sad and see me sad. The loss of you has been painful. I wish so much I made a different choice that day. Just one call to say you wouldn't be there was all I needed. Please don't think I failed you. I never meant to lose you.

I am so sorry my baby. I love you so very much. I miss you all the time. Please know that we all miss and love you.

Loving you always,
Your Mom

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I_Will_Love_You_Forever

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Reply with quote  #4 
Hi there my little one. Mom has been thinking about you all day. I miss seeing you in the morning and tucking you in at night. You were the happy one filled with endless energy. I can't believe you're gone.

It's not the same without you. It's very noticeable you are not here. You gave me so much to look forward to. I loved watching you run down the stairs in the morning with your little back foot sticking up as you ran on 3 legs. I cry each night wishing you were here, wishing you can hear me tell you I LOVE YOU ALWAYS. How do people cope with their loss? I am trying to figure that out. I am feeling very sorrowful. Not for myself, but for you my little guy whose life was taken from you, because you deserved to live a lot longer than 6. You had so many years to go. I took extreme care of you and I am in shock that with all my care, I let you slip through my fingers. I want to see you, here in our house, but I know that cannot happen.

I am so sorry my baby boy. Your shining light is missed here. I love you forever.

Love,
Mom
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BethK

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Reply with quote  #5 
So sorry you lost your little boy. That’s how I referred to my sweet boy. I had my Jackson for 14 years which wasn’t long enough. Can’t imagine going thru this at 6 yrs. seems very unfair. How long ago did you sweetheart pass? Tell me about him. Post a pic.
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I_Will_Love_You_Forever

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Reply with quote  #6 
How could I let this happen? My dogs were supposed to stay with their first vet who knew them since pups. We only went to this other vet for a second opinion for one of our dogs. I had no intention on switching vets. My husband bugged me and said they were all going to go to this 2nd vet. Biggest mistake ever. My little dog had only 2 visits to him where they saw how nervous he was. His 3rd visit was his last. Something terrible happened there I got no answers. They told me nothing. I didn't even want to keep this appointment. I had every intention on canceling it and I didn't. I am living with guilt. My dog is gone because of their incompetence. He was only 6. I feel so much to blame. I never wanted him to see any other vet except vet 1 who knew him since he neutered him. I am unbelievably heartbroken. My heart is in a billion pieces. All I had to do was not take him there. My husband brought him that day. I can't forgive myself or my husband. My dog would be here if we cancelled. I ask myself why didn't I? What happened? How could I not just tell them NO? Why?
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I_Will_Love_You_Forever

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Reply with quote  #7 
I contributed to my dog's passing. I had so many opportunities to cancel or even the day he went there I could have called and told them to not do anything, that I was coming to get him. I am riddled with guilt, regret, sorrow, and unforgiveness for myself. I have no excuse. I dreaded the idea of him going there that day, I really screwed up and cost my dog his life, leaving him alone there and scared. I should have done more. I neglected to follow my intuition about the bad feeling of that place and the procedure itself. How could I overlook this? One phone call. That's all I needed to do, make one phone call. Now I am in immense pain. I failed my dog.
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BethK

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Reply with quote  #8 
I wish I could say something to help you. We all understand guilt... second guessing decisions we made. I know that doesn’t help. You are in my thoughts. I am here for you to listen and understand.
Beth
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I_Will_Love_You_Forever

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Reply with quote  #9 
Hi My Little Peanut,
 
Mom is here to say she still misses you and doesn't understand how this could have happened when she was so protective over you and worried so much about what could happen and the I allowed you to go there and you never came home. I don't understand. I really don't. I never wanted to hurt you. It was my plan to keep you from going there and somehow it happened. I hope you were not feeling alone and in fear. I think of you being so scared and worried you were abandoned. You were not supposed to be there. This turned out all wrong. I'm so sorry my baby. I love you so much. Nothing has been the same. I am not the same. It's not the same here without you. Your brothers miss you a lot. All I want is to have you back. This was a horrible mistake and I let you down. I failed you. I'm sorry. I wish I could take it back. I want to start over. It's so confusing how this happened. 

Mom loves you forever and you are in my heart. I am missing a part of me losing you.

I'm sorry.

I love you,
Mom
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I_Will_Love_You_Forever

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Reply with quote  #10 
This can't be real! I keep thinking it's not real. It's just too hard to fathom. I protected my dogs like a mother bear and her cubs. I didn't let anyone watch them. I never kenneled them. I was totally against getting dental cleaning unless it was from our first vet who I fully trusted. I wasn't ready for this to be done anyway. I was going to wait until the summer. I allowed this to happen and I allowed them to take his life! 

I can't function anymore. I've been a mess for months. I can't face myself.  I know I failed badly. Of all of my dogs he was the last one I would leave alone with anyone because he was the most frightened without us. I set him up for disaster. I hope he didn't suffer. I have nightmares of him crying and screaming, thinking we left him there, alone. And we did just that!  Something we knew should have never happened and we let him go there. What did they do?  They did something wrong. He didn't come home. I never got to say goodbye. There was nothing wrong with him. They did something and never gave me answers.

I'm lost. I'm not dealing with this very well because I knew it was preventable!  It was voluntary so there was no need for it. I am full of sorrow and in a very dark, dark place.  His twin brother is missing him. it was supposed to be the two of them as a team forever, until they got old. His big brother is missing him. They were best friends. This is so unfair!  I'm not liking my husband these days. i don't trust any of his decisions or ideas. I don't really want to spend time with him either.  This was his bright idea from the start. I told him it was wrong. He never listened to me. He got his way.  I hope he's happy now.
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I_Will_Love_You_Forever

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Reply with quote  #11 
I feel like I set my dog up putting him in danger and a frightening situation. Something I was trying to avoid yet I neglected to prevent it. I volunteered him as the first to get the cleaning and that was the worst decision I would make. He, of all dogs, should have never been allowed to have this done. He feared being left with strangers. I am full of regret. This dog deserved more. He is gone now because I made a bad mistake. I'm having a hard time getting past this. This is something I am having a hard time forgiving myself because I think he may have died in fear. I would have never purposely wanted that to happen to him, but I was negligent by not thinking first of his needs. I wish that appt had never been set up in the first place! How do I go on missing him, knowing what I did and that it turned out tragic. I hope I can get through this. I am in pain. My grief overwhelms me. It was wrong what I did. I am struggling trying to get out of this dark place.
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I_Will_Love_You_Forever

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Reply with quote  #12 
My Little Peanut,

I miss you so much. You are not forgotten. You always here. I won't leave you. Please remember your mom loves you more than anything. I would have you sitting next to me if it was possible. I want you here. I miss you kisses.  As the pack leader, the pack has been quiet. We need you here. You made it happen. You made everything fun. You made us laugh. You made our day so much better. 

Please come back. If there was a way, I want you to come back. I can't think that you are gone. It's not real. It can't be real. It's not right. I see you here and then you're gone. You were much too young for your life to end. I hope you are not in pain because you want to be here with us and you are stuck somewhere else. When I got the words that you were gone, my world ended. Everything in this house has stopped like a broken clock. I can't enjoy myself without you joining your brothers. It's much too hard for me to believe most times. I keep wishing you would just show up. Like this never happened. 

I don't know why these things happen. I'm not experienced at this. This is a horrible learning experience. I am missing so much I am in pain. I love you so much. I will keep writing you in case you are able to see these notes. 

I'm missing you.

Love, Mom
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I_Will_Love_You_Forever

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Reply with quote  #13 
To My Sweetheart,

I miss you dearly.  I want to hold you again.  I want to hug you and watch your funny antics that would never stop.  I want to hold you in my arms. You are missed so much by all of us. We all want you back. I wish there was a way to get you back. Sometimes I cannot believe you are gone. It doesn't seem right at all. This house is so quiet and lonesome without you. Your fire and energy lit up everything here. There was never a dull moment as long as you were awake.  You were healthy and full of life. The happiness you brought rubbed off on all of us and now that you are gone, there is no happiness. I am finding it hard to do things without you around. I was so used to you always being there for me. You provided so much company. You were always peeking around the corner to make sure it was okay to come in.

Missing you has taken so much from me. I wish you could be here now. You should see your brothers. They look for you. The look for you when they eat and go out.  It was always crazy time. You made it so much fun. It was you who brought all the fun and energy and made it such a crazy time. Things are so quiet now and your brothers know it was you who brought the joy. What's going to happen in the warm weather when you sat on the deck and along with your brother, barked at every squirrel, chipmunk and anyone walking down the street?  I will miss that so much.

I want you here. It is not right.  I know we all have to die, but you were way too young, and for no good reason. This is so wrong. Please come back to me, even in my dreams. I want to see you again.  Please give me a sign that you are okay and you know your mom is thinking of you.  I need to feel your spirit. That's the only think I have left to hold onto.


I love you so much, forever. 
I wish you could be here. I wish I had the power.
Please don't forget us. We haven't forgotten you, and we will never forget you.

I love you and hope to see you again somehow, someway.

I miss you dearly.

Love 
Mom
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Benis_mom

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Reply with quote  #14 
Oh how my heart is breaking and the tears falling as I read your posts.  I'm so sorry this happened to your family and your pup. 

Dogs are so innocent. Your little guy doesn't feel like you let him down.  He is so innocent that he don't even know what that is. All he knows is that you cared so much about him. You took him to the vet because you care about him.  He knows you are forward thinking and questioned taking him there.  But, you always question because you are a caring mom. That's what caring mom's do.  He knows it isn't your fault at all and he would never blame you. 

What happened to you isn't fair.

I wish we could know when we are going to pass and how we are going to pass.  If we did, we could love more and give more.  Losing such a sweet innocent pup at old 6 years old is devastating.  Not knowing what happened, heaps so much on top of it.

Your pup is happy now, though, you should know this.  He has no pain and will never have pain or illness ever again.  You'll get to see your pup someday.  When that day comes, the time from now until then will feel like only a second because when you are reunited, you will not remember your grief and the loss you feel will be gone.

I know it is cliché to say that time will heal you.  I don't know if that is true.  I cry every day, sometimes for hours on end, missing my sweet girl. First my tears were disbelief.  Then they were guilt and regrets because of the vets and our decisions. Now, I somehow feel that crying keeps her alive and if I stop she will be lost from me forever.  Somehow accepting her death means she will be gone from me and I don't love her.  I'm trying to find a way through this to honor her and respect her but it is so hard.  I have been spending time with my other dogs and that has been helping.  They can never replace my girl, never.  But they are giving me love in a way they never did before which I really need right now.  It eases my pain.  Maybe your pups can help you too.

Just for a moment, feel your pain and sorrow.  The is how much you love your pup.  It's more love than you ever knew you could feel.  Your pup loves you back just as much.  He always will no matter what.
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I_Will_Love_You_Forever

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Reply with quote  #15 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Benis_mom
Oh how my heart is breaking and the tears falling as I read your posts.  I'm so sorry this happened to your family and your pup. 

Dogs are so innocent. Your little guy doesn't feel like you let him down.  He is so innocent that he don't even know what that is. All he knows is that you cared so much about him. You took him to the vet because you care about him.  He knows you are forward thinking and questioned taking him there.  But, you always question because you are a caring mom. That's what caring mom's do.  He knows it isn't your fault at all and he would never blame you. 

What happened to you isn't fair.

I wish we could know when we are going to pass and how we are going to pass.  If we did, we could love more and give more.  Losing such a sweet innocent pup at old 6 years old is devastating.  Not knowing what happened, heaps so much on top of it.

Your pup is happy now, though, you should know this.  He has no pain and will never have pain or illness ever again.  You'll get to see your pup someday.  When that day comes, the time from now until then will feel like only a second because when you are reunited, you will not remember your grief and the loss you feel will be gone.

I know it is cliché to say that time will heal you.  I don't know if that is true.  I cry every day, sometimes for hours on end, missing my sweet girl. First my tears were disbelief.  Then they were guilt and regrets because of the vets and our decisions. Now, I somehow feel that crying keeps her alive and if I stop she will be lost from me forever.  Somehow accepting her death means she will be gone from me and I don't love her.  I'm trying to find a way through this to honor her and respect her but it is so hard.  I have been spending time with my other dogs and that has been helping.  They can never replace my girl, never.  But they are giving me love in a way they never did before which I really need right now.  It eases my pain.  Maybe your pups can help you too.

Just for a moment, feel your pain and sorrow.  The is how much you love your pup.  It's more love than you ever knew you could feel.  Your pup loves you back just as much.  He always will no matter what.


Benis_mom
Thank you. I've been fighting this grief and regret.  This should have never happened. Honestly. It was such a horrible mistake and I don't know how to deal with it. I blame myself for sending him to this place -- it was in error. I wasn't thinking!!!  I don't know if you saw it was a dental appt that I didn't make. My husband made it. I meant so many times to call them to cancel and I don't know what happened. My husband and I never discussed it and next thing I know I  volunteered him to to there. I knew deep in my heart it was not the right thing to do at the time. I had awful feelings. This wasn't even our regular vet. I don't know what I was thinking when I sent him there. It's like I forgot all about it. Then he never came home. I know so much that this was preventable. It really was. It was a stupid appt that should have been cancelled. Everything was great before this. It is all dark now. My marriage is not the same. I am getting physically ill because I wasn't eating or sleeping well. I didn't take him to the this vet that day because I cared about him. I mistakenly let him go there. He was not our regular vet but my husband insisted on using him and insisted on this appt. I go over and over in my head what could I have been doing that kept me from stopping this appt.  I'm living day by day crying every day and missing my dog, knowing he would be here if I didn't make such stupid mistake. I just needed to grab him and say to my husband, NO he's not going. Cancel the appt.  Why didn't I do that?  I was caught up in something. Holidays, I don't know. I know some things, I miss him so much, I am so so so sorry, I am sick over this, I cry every single day, I am getting physically ill and

I don't know how to cope with this. It's dark in my house without him. I feel I played a part in him passing. Of course I have to write a state complaint because no matter what, it was a dental cleaning that went wrong. I didn't get any answers, no explanation, no apology, the notes are bare, so many unanswered questions. My dog was young and healthy. He was frightened, the vet wrote that, but never called me to tell me my dog's condition. I would have gone there ASAP to get him. I didn't want him to stress or get sick over a voluntary procedure that really wan't necessary. I didn't get that choice. I never got to say goodbye. No answers. A lot of lies I am find out now. Many things kept from me. This was the vet from hell. Of course I have never returned. I wish we would have just stayed with our regular vet. That was my intention, but I regretfully listened to my husband. You can imagine our relationship is strained since this. Very hard for me to go back to normal when nothing is normal. I'm sorry for such a long story. It seems the only way to explain it because it's not the typical story. It's not like I wanted him to go there and this happened. The problem is I didn't and I don't know where or when I failed.

Thank you for writing. I wish I had the right things to say but I am still suffering badly. I'm sorry you had to go through your loss of Beni, a very young dog, too. She was only 6 as well.  What a beautiful girl she was. I don't understand why these things happen to such young dogs. You are crying like I am. I can't stop sometimes. Your loss was about the same time as mine. I have been getting physically ill. I wasn't eating or sleeping. I lost 17 lbs. I hope you don't get like that. I tried to find out what happened to your precious Beni in your post and I must have missed it. I saw she was in the hospital for weeks.  What happened to your sweet girl if you are up to talking about it?  I am so sorry.  So young like mine. It's hard to comprehend. I am in tears all the time like you. Please keep yourself well. I am thinking of you.
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