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Dalidog

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Reply with quote  #91 
Hello Dals...  Wednesday, no day seems to be a good day.  Saw Christmas trees out today and people shopping.  I wanted to stop them all and tell them "DALI ISNT HERE".  And then my oldest asked when things will get better.  That set me off.  Bought a flameless candle today to burn by your picture.  I have burned so many candles and thought this would be a good alternative.  Still keep the real ones for Monday nights online.  Loving you...missing you...Thank YOU for being you. 
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Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
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http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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MurphysMom_0831

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Reply with quote  #92 
Hi Dali's Mom,

Most of what you have written is exactly what I feel and am going through. I see my doctor every 3 weeks and am on 2 different medications; one so I can focus on my work and one to help reduce the panic and devastation, both so I can function somewhat as a human being. I went through grief therapy for about 6 weeks, but she wasn't a pet grief therapist so I didn't find it all that helpful.

I find no joy in the holidays, no holiday spirit, but I keep trying to put on a brave front so Spencer can enjoy his first Christmas season as he deserves it. However, I too feel guilty about decorating and trying to show some happiness to Spencer. Nothing is happy without Murphy, it's not Christmas without Murphy; nothing seems real without Murphy. He passed June 18 and the pain is still as great today as it was then.

I had absolutely no idea Murphy was going to die. Despite being in the hospital 13 days with surgery, feeding tubes in his belly, hyperbaric oxygen treatments multiple times a day, etc., he had rebounded and was supposed to come home the day after he passed. He also should have lived for a number of years yet. He was a little over 9-1/2. When his head vet called June 17, Murphy was doing wonderfully well. Then out of the blue I get the call in the afternoon of June 18 telling me to get there immediately as they're losing him, and he'll be suffering terribly very shortly. How could I have anticipated that? It took at least 3 months for the total shock to subside, but I relive that 13 days repeatedly, the decisions I was forced to me, especially the final one for him to be put to sleep. I always thought his Addison's disease would take him, or that he would eventually pass of old age. I still can't believe what happened to that beautiful, precious, innocent boy who tried to desperately to get home again. He did not deserve it. It was horrible. You might have read in my letters/posts that I lost a 3-year-old son when I was very young, and in more recent years my grandparents and both parents. Losing Murphy has hit me a thousand times harder than even my son's passing. I fully understand how you feel about this unbearable pain. You are definitely not alone, Dali's Mom.

Every night since Murph passed I've slept with his collar tucked into my neck. I still find myself looking into the front window for him when I come home from somewhere and occasionally reaching down to touch and pet him. I also have jewelry with his picture and engraved words about him and the two of us. The necklace I wear constantly, the rings I only take off to work on the computer. I set up my curio cabinet as a memorial to him with all of his favorite things inside, his urn and photo. I've bought all sorts of things with his pictures, wall hangings with our special words on them, a memorial to hang from my rear view window in my car, and on and on. Anything to keep his memory alive as long as I live. I haven't changed or moved one single thing of his in the house to this day.

I often feel as though I'm living in some alternate universe, as if I'm on the outside looking in and none of this ever happened. This new reality is just too difficult. What you're feeling in my opinion is perfectly normal for the depth of love we have for our furchildren. My saving grace has been people on this forum, and Spencer and Grady. They really do give me a reason to force myself to keep going, and they DO bring comfort and love into my unreal world. Spencer is so much like Murphy it's actually strange, almost as if part of Murph lives on in Spencer. And Grady is such a loving girl, so sensitive to my emotions. They're both real lovers, love to be touched, kissed and petted, and want to be with me all the time which really helps as I miss all the touching, kissing and caressing I had with Murphy who was with me 24/7 as I work from home. I truly hope that some day, when the time is right, you too are able to allow another dog into your heart, not as a replacement for Dali as there will never be one, but so you are able to find some solace and comfort in he or she as I have with Spencer. When we have the capacity to love as much as we love Dali and Murphy, there's room to love another. Trust me on that. Being deprived of our furbabies is torture enough, but never allowing ourselves to feel anything resembling that love again, for me, is impossible. I just can't be without a dog in my life (and now a parrot too). I think Dali would want you to open your heart again when the time comes. She wants you to be happy and have that unconditional love which so enriched our lives. I wish you the best.

Blessings my friend,
Murphy's Mom (Kathryn)

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"Sometimes there is a dog who is so special, he is able to wrap himself so completely around your heart it is impossible to tell where you begin and he ends."  For My Beloved Murphy, 08/31/2004 - 06/18/2014


http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MURPH121/Resident.htm

http://s327.photobucket.com/user/kathrynbrown1626/library/?sort=6&page=1
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Dalidog

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Reply with quote  #93 
Hi Murphys Mom...
What you write sounds so much like me and my Dali was also 9 1/2 years old when she left.  I do remember you writing about losing a child. I can't imagine how hard that would be.  I, too, lost both of my parents and that affected me, but nothing losing Dali has.  The jewelry, the curio cabinet, all of that is exactly what I have done.  I hate that we have to go through all of this.  The last two months have been unbearable for me and I have always been such a happy person it is killing me.  Talking to Dali, singing, writing (this forum has literally saved my life, as no one else talks to me now about her) especially when I am driving keep me sane.  Everytime I had to leave her, on my way home I always kept saying...  I'm coming Dali, wait for me, I'll be there soon.   Now I still say the same thing, just with a different meaning.

Thank you for the heartfelt comments and I hope you are doing okay.  I know life will never be remotely the same, but maybe in time the pain won't be so intense.  I do see my daughters dogs (One is Dali's little sister, the other is the sisters puppy(he's 7 now)).  They come over, but stay a little away from me.  They would come over and try to get me to cuddle with them and Dali would get jealous and growl at them and sit in my lap and keep them away.  That is the only time she would growl.  I would leave her with them and she would sleep so close to them they were touching, so I know she loved them, just didn't want me to hold them.  Now if I hold them, I tell them Dali wouldn't like that.  They still look for her to run in the room and make them get away from me.  I just know I don't want another pet of my own.  My grown kids have animals and that's enough.

Every day has been a struggle since she left.  You know that shock takes a toll on you and you are in disbelief.  I don't move anything either and won't even wash my bathroom rug because it was new and soft and she liked to lay on it.  Her meds are in the kitchen cabinet, her leash on the hook, and every night I pet her picture and put it under my pillow hoping to dream about her.  I will be happy when the holidays are over this year.

My memorial is not finished yet.  Still have to put her pictures in the scrapbook.  I bought a flameless candle yesterday to keep on her shelf next to the ones for Monday nights.  Thank you so much for what you wrote and I am so sorry you have to go through this.  Life isn't what it was.  Every day I am trying to think of the good memories now and focus on them so that last day doesn't haunt me.  Take care of yourself. I love the happy stories you write about your Murphy.


Again..  THANK YOU.  Hugs to you and your Murphy.  I know Murphy and Dali are wanting us to remember the happy times and all the love they give us, even now.








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Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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Dalidog

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Reply with quote  #94 
Tried to go Christmas shopping today Dals, but cried all the way home.  I get where I hate to out because I know I have to come home and that is the worst for me.  Heard "BLUE Christmas" on the radio and the waterworks flowed.  Love you, Miss you...romp and play and be warm and safe until we meet again.
Love you MOM

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Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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Dalidog

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Reply with quote  #95 
You left me 10 weeks ago this morning Dali.  This has been the hardest 10 weeks of my life.  I bought a flameless candle to keep lit by your picture on the shelf, as I have gone through so many flame ones.  I do keep flame ones for MOnday night ceremonies.  We bought the items for the pet donations yesterday.  Was so hard to go shopping for dog things (and cat things) without you.  I tried to buy things you would love.  Making boxes to donate to the shelters for Monday.  Have tags with bells and your picture and your name so everyone knows they are in your honor.  How I miss you, words can't say.  I still have that knot in my stomach and cry every day.  I keep getting asked when I will be my old self..NEVER...that person is gone.  I am different now since you left and see the world far differently.  Sad, but thankful that you were here and now my Dali angel.  Different traditions for Christmas this year, like the pet donations....to honor you.  They will continue the rest of my life on holidays, your birthday,just because I love you".  Thank you for being you...  found this poem this morning.  Love you Dals.



 Tribute To A Best Friend
Sunlight streams through window pane
unto a spot on the floor....
then I remember,
it's where you used to lie,
but now you are no more.
Our feet walk down a hall of carpet,
and muted echoes sound....
then I remember,
It's where your paws would joyously abound.
A voice is heard along the road,  
and up beyond the hill,
then I remember it can't be yours....
your golden voice is still.
But I'll take that vacant spot of floor
and empty muted hall
and lay them with the absent voice
and unused dish along the wall.
I'll wrap these treasured memorials
in a blanket of my love
and keep them for my best friend
until we meet above.
Author Unknown

For you my baby... Love MOM


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Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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Dalidog

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Reply with quote  #96 
Morning Dals.   Hope it is warm and cozy at the bridge, kind of cold here today.  I always worry about you when it is cold.  Just need to make sure you are okay.  It is so hard knowing that you can't call or write or type to me, but then again, you never could.  Every time I answer the phone for some reason I am hoping to hear, Hi Mom, This is Dali!.  Not like you ever talked before, but I can hear the voice you have now.  Is this odd?  Those expressive eyes, long tail, holding your paw up to shake hands or hitting me with it to let me know you were there and wanted me to pick you up....your communication needed no words.  I was looking at some of your things yesterday, thinking about you with them, the bows, the brush, the grooming sprays (I will always keep all of these things), but they made me think how different life was.  I am not the same person now, that person is gone.  I pray on Sundays, WHY WHY WHY, there is no answer.  I love you Dals....Thank you as I do every day
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Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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Dalidog

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Reply with quote  #97 
Hi Dals...  went to the mall tonight to Christmas shop.  I got overwhelmed watching all the people happy and shopping and the Christmas music and the decorations...I couldn't breathe, kept thinking about you and had to get out of there quickly.  I can't do Christmas this year, I really tried.  You are my sunshine Dali, I don't know what to do without you.   How do I do this?
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Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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Dalidog

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Reply with quote  #98 
Morning baby girl..
Woke up last night looking for you after such a hard day yesterday.  Very quiet in here this morning and cold outside.  Stay warm and happy playing at the bridge.  I have found myself finding pieces of lint when I clean and saving them, thinking maybe one of your hairs is there and I don't want to let go of any piece of you.  Thank you for being my joy.Love you, MOM

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Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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Dalidog

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Reply with quote  #99 
Hope you felt my love at the candlelighting ceremony tonight.  Mr. Rob Gutros Ghosts and Spirits blog had the email I wrote about you.  Here is part of it....the world will never forget you my Dali.

Signs from the Spirit of Dali the Lhasa Apso!
 

[Dali-%2BDorothy's%2Bdog]
Dali the Lhasa Apso

Following is a wonderful email I received from a woman named Dorothy, who shared experiences of how her beloved Lhasa Apso, Dali gave her signs that she was still with her mom. 
    Spirits of dogs and cats, like people, have the ability to leads us to things in nature to show us that they're around us. Dali led her mom to see the rainbow, and manipulated the one wind chime to send a message that she's still around Dorothy from time to time. Spirits also can use things in nature like birds, butterflies, feathers, flowers, dragonflies, etc. to send us messages of their presence. They can also move things as you'll read about below, regarding to a windchime.
   Dorothy has given me permission to share her experiences and provided a great photo of Dali, so that Dali's messages and memory will live on, and comfort others - to help them know that their pets are also with them from time to time. - Rob 
 

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Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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loft2111

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Reply with quote  #100 
Thinking of you and Dali.
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Dalidog

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Reply with quote  #101 
Thanks so much Little Mans mom...  how are you doing? 
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Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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loft2111

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Reply with quote  #102 
I'm trying to move forward but it's hard, I miss LM so very much. We are leaving for our trip soon, I'm hoping it will help me heal and come to terms with LM's death.
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Dalidog

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Reply with quote  #103 
Try to enjoy your trip.  LM will be with you always.  I go day by day, but that's about it right now.  Some days are better than others.  We will always miss them and they will always be a part of us.  Acceptance is very hard and I know I am fighting that inside.
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Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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MattiesMom10

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Reply with quote  #104 
Hello Dali Momma,
I have not been able to get on the site long enough to say hi and hope your doing ok. I just wanted to let ya know I think of Dali, and you often and keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.

Smiles and Hugs to you

Woofs and Wags to you Mattie Girl, Dali,Murphy and LM and all your friends, Have a wonderful day!


Love you to the Moon and Back Mattie Girl
Forever a paw print on my heart

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Dalidog

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Reply with quote  #105 
Thank you MattiesMom.
I think of all of you often and hope you are all doing okay.  I am looking forward to Christmas being over this year and everything settling down.  There is no "normal", but a different world.  I am doing my best to handle things and try to face life without my Dali.  Your postings always cheer me up.  Thinking of you and Mattie Girl...Hugs to you both

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Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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