doggymom65
my boy was diagnosed with insulinoma on Oct. 1, 2018. We opted not to do surgery because there wasn't any guarantee they could get all the tumors as they are very tiny. Also, his age at the time 12 yrs 9 mos old and we didn't want him to go thru that pain. This disease we were told isn't a common cancer in dogs, and there isn't a lot of information on it. We went the medical management way and had his blood sugar checked monthly. We only had to increase meds after the first month and the next 6 1/2 months, he remained in the stable zone of 87, until the last 3 weeks, when his blood sugar went up to 131 and then 168~ The vet wasn't too concerned about that, but we discussed we could start lowering the pred., but he wanted to wait until we had the ultrasound. 2 weeks before he crossed, we had another ultrasound done to see if the cancer grew, it didn't change much and that was very encouraging. However, the prednisone was doing it's damage because of the long term on it. You could feel every bone in his body and I kept asking if we could lower it and my vet kept telling me not to change as it's working. The last 2 weeks, we noticed he wasn't eating much, drinking much and having a hard time going up stairs. The Friday b/4 he passed as he was going up the stairs he kept sliding down, where my husband had to carry him up. By Weds. he couldn't do either, up or down. During all this time, 7 1/2 mos, my boy lost over 28 lbs, because I didn't know that the medicines were upsetting his stomach, diazoxide and prednisone. The night before he passed, he couldn't get comfortable, kept moving around, wouldn't eat, would drink much, didn't want to go for a walk, nothing.  I laid with him all night, not sleeping my self because I knew something wasn't right. When we got up in the am, I took him out, only for him to want to go back into the garage and just lay there. He barely drank, and I got those "eyes". We helped him over the bridge that afternoon, and now 5 weeks later, I cry, cant eat, hard time sleeping. I feel so guilty, I miss him so much. My life is so empty, I just wish I could have him back. Everywhere in our house, I feel him. I have reached out for help, but it doesn't help. This pit in my stomach hurts so much, I wake up crying, go to bed crying, I just want to hold him one more time for a long time! I hurt so much for him.
Maureen Benford
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just_lost
Hi, doggymom65.  I don't know of any words that will help other than we're all here for you.  We're here for the same reason, unfortunately, but the folks I've talked to during my one day here have been very supportive, sympathetic, and empathetic.  I hope that you can find a bit of peace here.  My heart breaks for everyone going through what you, I, and many others are going through :(
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