Let me say I sorry for your loss. i know what you are going through. I had to put almost 16 year old cat, Shebba to sleep on Jan 8th of this year. I am still beside myself. It's like biggest part of me have been removed from me. I simply dredge my decision to put her to sleep even though it was the right thing to do. I still feel I could do more. I still cry and constantly call out her name or look around the house for her. I think we as humans feel so guilty when our furbabies die so young to us but in their years old that we have to continue on without them. Its a long bumpy road ahead for everyone here to endure to their path of healing. From time to time you will that you moving onward only to fall back. You came to the right place, here we are help each other out by sharing loving stories of our pets and venting out our frustations. So cry if you must, but know you are not alone.