I just picked up my precious boys ashes today. My heart is so heavy with saddness and grief. I wasn't prepared for his departure. I am in such a lonely and sad place. I don't want to go home. Its so quiet and lonely without my little loverboy here on top of my side. It was a real sunny day and the birds were chirping outside my window. I miss my Shadow running on top of my stomach to get to the window and "bark" at the birdies. I miss my precious little loverboy finding the only spot of sunlight in the whole house and basking in it. I miss him plopping down on my side and sleeping on top of me. I miss his somersaults, his loving ways and him jumping into the "fortress of solitude" on the top shelf of the linen closet. I miss him in his younger days, waiting for me to finish watching the news so that we could both get into bed together and there we'd have our little love sessions where I would tickle his tummy. I miss his beautiful green eyes his intelligent ways and loving mannerisms. I miss my boy, oh how I miss my boy!