Tabitha33
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Yup that is what i feel like.  i am mad and not ashamed. it has been 2 months and it is still killing me. i feel like i hate everyone and everything. my plan to fool my hubby is causing me stress, the plan was fake it till i can make it. i am tired i miss my baby/ i can not go out to the backyard that is where her grave sits. early this week my husband broke one of our glass bowls and i just sat there going hmmm, i want to smash more. i want to step on the presents under the tree, the tree well a lit match is feeling good. on top of that i have to spend christmas eve with his family, gag me now. i dont know what to do, so now i am venting. sorry if you end up offended, my boo was where i use to unload all of this and well nows i gots no one, just me sadness. life sucks and i can not handle the jolly holly times of this year, i say bite my ass and kiss it as well. and that is how i feel 
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Gucci
Tabitha33 - There's very little that can be said to ease the grief and anger you feel. It's been a little over 2 months since I lost my precious cat Sammi, who was the boy of my heart, and the truth is that it's horribly painful living with the fact that he's gone.

Grief over the loss of our humans is NOT something that is well-received, and the intense grief we feel over the loss of our animal companions is often considered practically frivolous. That's maddening in and of itself, but that's the reality.

Denying how we really feel is crazy-making, and only adds to the immense pressure on us to keep up the pretense that things are ok when they are absolutely not. This is something that's worthwhile establishing boundaries about because whatever your feelings are, they belong to you and are legitimate.

I've taken the liberty of including a couple of links that I found useful. They're from a woman who witnessed losing her partner, and while it pertains to the loss of our human people, the principles are exactly the same when we lose our animal people.

https://www.refugeingrief.com/2013/11/18/rules-at-impact-how-to-survive-early-grief/

https://www.refugeingrief.com/2018/11/16/those-terrible-holidays/

Please know that your feelings of rage and sorrow are completely normal, and that they need to be respected. It's a process that's grueling, exhausting, and seemingly endless. Be compassionate with yourself, and keep coming to the forum. The people here know well how tumultuous and senseless it feels to adjust to a reality without the furry being that made life's vexations and disappointments bearable. There is comfort in knowing that you're accompanied in your grief by others.

Sending you warmest regards and a big hug.
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BoxerMomForever
I know how you feel. You have every right to feel the way you do. I cry every day for Lily. Even though we’re decorated for Christmas, etc. I miss my girl I can’t find a way to enjoy the holiday. I said to my husband the other day, Jan 1 can’t come quick enough. I’ve always hated Christmas since my Mom passed. Almost 30 years ago..... this is a great place to share your feelings, we are all going through the same thing and we need to support each other. Hugs....
Linda *Mom to two boxer angels* Lily {White Girl} 6/22/09 - 10/14/19  ** Ginger {Flashy Fawn Girl} 6/4/97 - 5/28/09
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Tabitha33
Thanks to you both, I just want it to be over so bad.  And the weird thing was yesterday I found something that helped and old show from the 90's. Can you believe that. Counting the days till the jolly is over.
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Gucci
Tabitha33 - You never know what will help distract you a little from your sorrow. Take extra care of yourself over this holiday season; it's hard, and it's important to respect your limits and know what you need for yourself.

Sending warm regards and a big hug.
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