On Jan 29th, my son, daughter and I had to say goodbye to a cat that we all loved so very, very much. He had stopped eating and was barely drinking. We had a number of blood tests run on him. They showed nothing but on his last day they took an X-ray and found a large mass in his stomach. He was deteriorating rapidly and we all refused to let him suffer.

The pain I felt then was beyond overwhelming. I shed so many tears that day and so many more these past two weeks. We had Thunder cremated and late this afternoon I picked up his remains. The pain, in an intense way, came flooding back again. As I write this I have tears streaming down my face. One of my two other cats, S’mores, knows how bad I’m hurting and is lying next to me as close as she can get.

I miss Thunder so, so much. There is no way I could put into words how much I truly miss him. He was such a good animal. He gave me kisses, laid on my lap and was the best friend a person could have. He was the kind of cat that I wish everyone could experience in their life.

I am thankful that my boy is no longer in pain. I am thankful that I had had almost 11 years of his love and companionship. I am thankful that my twins knew him and loved him so very, very much.

I want to hold him just one more time...kiss him
just one more time...and tell him how much I love him just one more time.

I don’t know how this ache will ever go away. I will love you forever my boy.

March 27, 2007 - January 29, 2018

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Hi MattS,
Thunder sounds like an amazing cat and it hurts so much to have to let them go. We had to let out little dog go over 2 years ago and it was the worst day of my life so I can understand how you are feeling.

Picking up Thunders remains today must have been so very difficult for you. It may give you some comfort having him back home with you. I know it is not the way you would choose though. It might help to set up a special area with Thunder's urn - perhaps with his picture and something special to him like a toy.

I think you were very brave to put his needs first and not to let him suffer and in time this will give you comfort.
Let S'mores and your other cat be there for you now. They are likely missing Thunder too.

I am so sorry for your loss!
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P.S. I love the picture you have posted of Thunder - such a handsome boy!!
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My deepest condolences on the loss of your beloved Thunder. You shared 11 happy years with Thunder. That's a long time and I know how great the pain is right now as you are so used to having him there with you. I hope that the memories you have in your heart will overshadow the sadness. It won't happen right away but with time. As MJ said you were very brave to let Thunder find peace.
Take Care Matt,
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Oh my word. What a dear little beauty Thunder was. I can feel your pain through the words.

There is nothing to prepare us for the deep pain we feel when having to say goodbye to fur baby. We all can relate to the profound grief you are feeling right now. Some people in your life will not understand what you are going through. That's okay. Because what you are feeling is perfectly normal.

Grieve in your own time and space. There is no right or wrong way. These angels come into our lives for a reason. So the void they leave is deeper than we could have ever imagined. One day, your tears of sadness will turn to gladness. In the meantime, just know that you are not alone. The people on this site are deep, caring and know what you are going through.

Take care. I hope my little girls welcomed Thunder with open paws over the Rainbow Bridge.
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Matt,  your words could be mine.  I lost my Siamese Mitookie on January 27.  A little over two weeks ago and it still hurts so very much.  I had him for 15 years and he was my soul-mate.  I'm in the same situation with helping my other kitty Moses grieve for Mitookie.  He keeps looking out the window and I know Moses knows when I cry and why.  The decision to end our pet's suffering is so hard, but you know you did the right thing for Thunder.  He knows it too.  I tell Mitookie all the time how sorry I am for the way things turned out and that I couldn't save him.  Talking to him helps me.  I even wrote him a letter.  There is just so much to say and I often think, "what I wouldn't do for just one more day."  My mind won't seem to accept that he isn't coming back.  But I do believe I will see him again one day. 

Thunder is a very handsome boy and I know he loves you and is thankful to you for giving him so many years of unconditional love.  I'm sorry it hurts so badly.  This forum has really helped me.  I hope you find a little peace and comfort here as well.  Be kind to yourself. 

Kind Regards,

Marina ~ Mitookie's Mom
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Matt, my heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry about Thunder. What a gorgeous boy!

Though my girl was a dog, I share each of the feelings you described. It is just so hard.

He sounds like a truly wonderful pet that you and everyone in your family adored and treasured. And the depth of that love leads to the severity of your pain now. It's rotten.

Getting the ashes back crushes our hearts all over again. Happened to me yesterday. Just devastating and it's like it seals and finalizes the loss in some way. It feels unfair and terribly terribly harsh and painful.

I hope you'll keep sharing with us here and please know you're not alone and we all understand. I wish the pain didn't take so long to ease, but I wish you peace and comfort.

-Missing Marissa deeply
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