Britt1452
I've been browsing this site for a couple months but I've been too scared to post anything. I lost my baby boy Otto April 28th and I am having a hard time coping. He would have been 9 years old this month. I'm sorry if this is long, I just feel the need to write this.

It all happened the morning of April 27th. I woke up for work around 7 am like normal and go out to feed the dogs (I had 4 at the time). Normally they are all waiting for me in the kitchen because they know when mom wakes up it's time to eat. The only one waiting for me was Jace my mini dachshund. I knew in my gut something was wrong.

I have a dog door in my sliding glass door. I opened the blinds and I blacked out from there mostly. I remember bits and pieces of that morning. I looked outside and saw a black lump in the yard, and I knew it was Otto. My two other dogs (lab mixes) were outside near him. I remember screaming and running to him. He was barely breathing but still alive. My two dogs had savagely attacked him. I picked him up and one of them latched on to him immediately. I ran into the house, got a towel and rushed to the emergency vet. They were not open...Across the street was another vet so I ran in and just remember begging for help.

Otto was in really bad shape, it seemed like they had drug him through the dirt and just mauled him. He had bite marks everywhere and a huge open wound on his head. They took an x-ray of his neck and he had a hole in his trachea. The vet told me I had two options: take him to a University here that specializes in veterinary care and spend thousands of dollars to see if it was fixable (they had never seen anything like this) or wrap his neck and see if it healed on its own. I chose the latter.

They kept him in an oxygen tank so he could breathe, I just remember them letting me sit with him. They were very very kind. I put my hand through and all he wanted to do was cuddle his head on me. I break down every time I think of this. They told me they were going to keep him and see if he stabilized and told me I could call as many times to check on him as I wanted.

I went home and now had to deal with losing two other dogs. They had been with Otto since puppies and never showed any signs of aggression until that morning. I had to take them to the shelter, where I'm not sure what will/has happened to them. I miss them also.

The vet called me later that afternoon and told me Otto was doing really well and he could come home. I went to pick him up and he walked out to me and seemed to be doing OK. I brought him home and laid him in bed next to me. I know now that he just wanted to come home and be at peace. I just sat there and petted him the whole time. I had to get sleep and I didn't want to accidentally hurt him in the middle of the night, so I made him a nice comfy bed to sleep on.

I woke up around 8 am the next morning to check on him. He was not breathing and his gums were blue. I wrapped my arms around him and begged him to get up. He took two breaths and died in my arms. I was a lunatic, screaming and crying. 

He was my whole world. I struggle with depression and honestly Otto is probably one of the only reasons I'm still here today. He knew when I was sad, would lie next to me or give me a kiss. He slept with me, went on walks with me, we did everything together. I just feel so guilty, I feel like I failed him and put him in harms way with the bigger dogs. I feel like it is my fault. If he had just slept with me that night, he would be here today. I'm having a really hard time coping. It comes in waves. I know I will never have another dog like him. I miss you greatly baby boy.
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nosunshine36
My dear Britt,
You've been through such a terrible trauma. Do you know for sure if it was your other two dogs who attacked Otto? It seems very strange for them to turn on him, especially since they were with him so long and if he was dragged through the mud perhaps it could have been a wild animal like a coyote who attacked him and they dragged him home?? I don't know .. but it might help to talk to the vet about it.
Poor baby Otto sure did love you. It's good that he could come home and pass away with you instead of with strangers. Please don't blame yourself. You wouldn't have thought this could ever happen.
It's good that you told your story. Everyone here understands the terrible pain you are feeling. Please let us know how you are doing. You are not alone. Blessings to you,
Sharon
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Britt1452
Unfortunately, I do know for a fact that it was them. I have a fenced in yard, there is really no other way that it could have happened. Thank you for your kind words. I think the hardest part is wanting to remember the happy times, but every time I close my eyes or think about him I just see the horrible images that are burned into my head.
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nosunshine36
I'm so sorry Britt! I know this has to be such an awful trauma for you. You couldn't have possibly thought this could ever happen though. I could scarcely believe it. Just remember please that on this forum we all help each other. I haven't written about my Sunny yet but I find that talking to others who understand my pain helps. In your case it is even harder knowing what happened but try and remember that Otto passed away safe in your room with his loving mom close by. He felt loved, safe and protected in the end, thanks to you.
I will check back to see how you are doing. Take good care of yourself during this very difficult time.
Blessings,
Sharon
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Sil
Britt1452,

I am so sorry for your loss of Otto.  The circumstances make this loss very traumatic, I am truly sorry.  I am looking at Otto's pictures and he looks sweet and beautiful. 
I know that you are blaming yourself, but this was not your fault.  

In this forum, you will find a community with so many caring and understanding people.  We all are in different stages of grief.  We have lost a beloved pet(s), the circumstances might be different, but the awful overwhelming pain is the same.  You are not alone, we are here to listen and to offer support.  Prayers and hugs 
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