redgirlraven
I miss my sweet boy. I miss him. I am having the saddest day. Started crying on my way to work. I have a stupid vacation coming up I no longer want to take. Nothing is fun. Nothing makes me happy. I want my boy back. I feel sick. My Roary. The guilt will likely never go away. Nor will this awful pain. I need my boy back.
AR
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xxcesarxx
The guilt will go away. You will realize that it was his time to go. I understand your pain. Stay strong.
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pannklaus
I totally understand your desire to have your precious Roary back and your feeling that nothing else matters.  This is part of the very miserable grieving process which everyone here is going  through.  It is unfortunate that  you have your vacation coming up now.  Is there any possibility that you could delay it?  I know that many things are paid for well in advance and can't be changed at the last minute.  

I am so very sorry that you lost your beloved Roary especially right now at such a bad time.  You are in a group with others who understand what you are going through and will listen to whatever you wish to express about your feelings.
Patsy
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Memories_of_Marmalade

Dear AR, 

You are not alone. XXcesarxx & Patsy are right. 

I miss my sweet boy. I miss him. I am having the saddest day. Started crying on my way to work. I have a stupid vacation coming up I no longer want to take. Nothing is fun. Nothing makes me happy. I want my boy back. I feel sick. My Roary. The guilt will likely never go away. Nor will this awful pain. I need my boy back. 

Today is 8 weeks for me since I had my Marmalade put down. And I talk to myself all the time. And I repeatedly say "I want my boy back." Or "I want my friend back."

I don't know how I was able to do what I did when it was done. I endlessly 2nd guess my decision. I can not believe how final it was. How none of this feels real. We are right there with you. Sending you hugs.

James
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Lrogers424
It is hard to believe, but time will help.  It will never take away your loss, but the sharp edges of your grief will soften over time.  You will be able to hold that grief in your hand someday and remember the love.  I am at my first year mark, and the missing does not end but the sharp pain of loss is better.  It is different for everyone, but be kind and patient with yourself during the process.  Reach out when ever you need help.
Lori, Daisy's Mom and now Luna's Mom
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Memories_of_Marmalade


Very well said Lori. Thank you for your wisdom and for sharing it with us. 

Kind regards,
James
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Jenniferhiggs1221
Redgirlraven..i understand you on that about your vacation and how it just seems so unimportant right now..i just got back from mine and i really did miss Reeses so much the whole time i was there..i just couldnt stop thinking about him..i had made the reservation months ago when everything was fine and i definatly tried cancelling but of course there was no cancellation on my vacation home so i decided might as well go since i already paid for it..but i didnt want to enjoy it..i did try..but i missed him too much..it was crazy though..i rented a condo and the second night being there i was comming in and heard a cat crying very loud from upstairs..it sounded so much like my Reeses..i had ti walk up the stairs a little to see..and would you know it..there was an orange tabby..like my Reeses was..sitting outside his owners door crying to get inside..i couldnt believe it as bad as i was missing him and there was an orane cat right above me..almost like a sign..i sat outside and listened to him cry until his owners finally let him in..i just love cats so much i cant stand to hear them being sad..but i dont know why it was like i missed him even more being away and when we go closer to home comming back i got sadder because that for years had always been my favorite part of comming home..knowing my baby would be there waiting and missing me..only this time he wasnt..and when we pulled up i started crying because i wanted Reeses to be there like he always had been and the yard was empty(he was indoor/outdoor) cat.and i was mad he wasnt..so my first night back was rough on me but then i was a little better the next day i guess because it settled on in on me again..but i didnt mean to just talk sad the whole time..you should try to enjoy your vacation..we work hard all year and this is the time we should relax and enjoy being somewhere fun..and i did relax. I just in the back of my mind knew it was gonna be difderent this time..but enjoy the time you get..you will be back at work in no time lol..i just went back today and it was so hard getting up this morning aftee sleeping in all week..and our babys always wanted us to be happy and they would want that now too
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Memories_of_Marmalade

Jennifer wrote:

"It was crazy though..i rented a condo and the second night being there i was coming in and heard a cat crying very loud from upstairs..it sounded so much like my Reeses..i had to walk up the stairs a little to see..and wouldn't you know it..there was an orange tabby..like my Reeses was..sitting outside his owners door crying to get inside..i couldn't believe it as bad as i was missing him and there was an orange cat right above me..almost like a sign..

Sweetie, that WAS a sign!!!

XO,
James
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redgirlraven
JenniferHiggs... This is it exactly.  I already prepaid this vacation along tome ago and can't get out of it.  My daughter is excited, but I am just dreading it, and just like you, zI fear coming home.  it just makes me sick not having him waiting for me.  Every morning he was the first thing I would see.  And now I get up in the dark alone to go to work... its awful.   I am in such shock, he was young, this was unexpected and wrong.  Just Wrong.
AR
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Jenniferhiggs1221
James..thank you for saying that..i was hoping so bad it was a sign..when i walked up to see what the cat looked like it hit me like a ton of bricks..of course it would be an orang tabby!i was hoping in my mind it was and it was..then i thought..what are the odds?so after i saw him i wouldnt even go back inside..i had to stay outside so i could hear him..even though i knew it wasnt Reeses i still felt a connection to this cat because he was orange and he was right above me on the next floor!it made me happy and sad at the same time..
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