Ti
My sweet black kitty died a couple days ago.  I was there with her during the euthanasia at the vet.  Though I feel the time was right and this was what was best for her, it hurts so much.  I feel gutted to my core.  There is a big hole in my heart and life.  I am trying not to 'numb out' like I usually do and feel and process this loss in a healthy manner (whatever the heck that is).  

Yesterday when I got home, I found myself calling for my kitty even though I knew she wouldn't be there.  She most always came to the door to greet me when I came home, talking to me, wanted to be petted and to rub against me and follow me around.  I miss her so much and am struggling to find my way through this.

Thanks for listening ❤️

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Memories_of_Marmalade


Dearest Ti,

I am so saddened to learn of your loss. It is easy to read in your words how much you loved and adored her. I too had to put my cat to sleep. It will be around 7 months on the 15th of Dec.

I also call out to him. I still speak to him when I come home. I speak to him before I go to bed. I tell him good night. I pray for him and to him and I tell him good morning each morning and tell him good bye when I depart each day. It gives me comfort. 

He was my best friend. My amigo. My traveling companion. My only remaining family. Tried and true. Loyal and noble. An orange and white tabby cat I named "Marmalade."

I think a "healthy manner", at least with what I have discovered, is each time I feel overwhelmed, grief stricken, drowning in regret, remorse, and guilt, I try to feel deeply humbled by my loss, and try and feel only grateful for having met my cat in the first place and try to feel blessed, for the time that he and I were allotted together ( 4 1/2 years.) That also seemed to help me to heal.

Please know that you are not alone. We are with you in comradeship and spirit. As is your lost beloved.

Kind regards and my sincerest condolences,
James
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Ti
Thank you so much for your message James and for sharing about your dear tabby, Marmalade. I am sorry for your loss as well.

You put into words so eloquently how I feel about my sweet little 'Yoshi Bear.' She was my best friend and family. I don't know what happens when we leave this world but I hope there is a heaven for her for all the love and joy she gave.

Your words made me feel less alone and gave me comfort. Like you, I feel very blessed to have had such a loving, devoted, dear pet. A connection like I had with Yoshi and you had with Marmalade is a unique, once in a lifetime experience like no other. It is hard to let something that beautiful and precious go even if it is a part of living and life that we have no choice but to accept.

I can feel how deeply you love Mamalade and how special he was. I have no doubt that your dear tabby friend had similar feelings about you as well.

Warm regards,

Ti




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pannklaus
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved 'Yoshi bear'.  I had to let my Lenny cat go last February.  I went through all of the things you are going through.  I still miss him and probably always will.  The Christmas season is hard because he was with me last year and now he is not. I don't think there is any "right" or "healthy" way to grieve.  We all experience whatever we experience, although many of the feelings are similar---the sense of loss, crying, inability to go through daily routines and all the rest.  

I have found that I am past the intense grief stage and have gone on with my life.  But when I find a ball still left under a piece of furniture or look at the box with Lenny's ashes near the bedroom window, it stirs up feelings of sadness and longing to have him with me again. Sometimes when I am sitting in a chair I half way expect him to jump in my lap.  There will always be a special place in my heart for him.  I am sure it will be the same way for you with your precious sweet baby.   Stay with us in this group.  Everyone here understands what you are going through and the intensity of your grief.
Patsy
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