Idahosmom Show full post »
Idahosmom
My dearest Idaho,

It's been 5 weeks, hard to believe. I've been crying, missing you. I have no one here to talk to: no one who would really understand. I feel so alone. I feel so empty. Oh how I wish you'd take me with you.
I miss looking at your beautiful face and giving you kisses. I miss how you used to stomp your foot and make your little sound to get my attention. I miss giving you treats: string cheese, one of your favorites, yum. I miss having you next to me on the couch and the bed. You were such a good boy. And you always managed to make me feel better when I was down. You did that better than anyone, and without saying a word. I just miss everything about you. Sometimes it seems like things are getting better, that time is healing the wound, but I still get these episodes, like tonight, where I just want to curl up into a ball and cry my heart out. Oh, my Idaho, this is so hard. My life without you, empty. I just have to remind myself that now, you're healthy and happy and playing all day long with your new friends. It doesn't much matter what life is like down here with me, as long as you're healthy and happy, my love. I look forward to the day that we are together again. Be well, my dear boy.

Mama loves you Idaho.
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amanda
Hi Idahosmom,

I feel your pain. Sometimes I cry to the universe and pray to be taken to where my babies are. I miss them so. Ruben was the last of my beautiful tribe and I am lost without them. I am so sorry you are hurting so. I know some days are better than others, but not by much. I hope you find strength in your love for Idaho. He is always with you, not the way we want, but with you always, in your heart and in your soul. 

Thinking of you. Amanda 


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Idahosmom
Hello my beautiful boy. I can't believe it has been 6 weeks since you left. Papa and I continue to light candles for you every evening, something I will do without fail until we're together again. I received the ornament I ordered. It has a great picture of you, smiling, with your frisbee. On the back side it says "if love could have saved you, you would have lived forever ". Yes, you would have lived forever........and even longer after that.
Idaho, I'm here, still wishing you'd come for me. I would happily cross over the rainbow bridge with you, my love, never again to be separated, as the poem goes. I look forward to the day that we are reunited.
Meanwhile, I will take good care of Hanna and Gana. They need a lot more supervision. They're not as mature and independent as you were. You were such a good brother to them, so patient, tolerating their crazy antics. You were such a good sport. I know they miss you too.
I love you more than you'll ever know. My heart aches; sometimes it's debilitating. Life will never be the same. I will never be the same. I miss you so very much.
Keep me close, my dear boy.
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Idahosmom
My dear boy,

It's Christmas Day and I'm in the bedroom crying, sobbing, holding your picture and footprint close to my heart. No celebration. No special breakfast. No special anything. I don't want to be around anyone.

I miss you so much, Idaho. The sadness, loneliness, emptiness persist. I don't know how to move on without you. I'm hoping you can help me find a way.

My heart is broken. I love you, my Idahoboy. I love you so very much.
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Idahosmom
It has been 2 months since my baby boy passed away. My first holiday season without him, the worst I can remember. Christmas day was very sad, I had one of my breakdowns. My husband and I couldn't even wish one another a Merry Christmas. New Year's day was the same. 

My life has been turned upside down. I still get angry at myself for not getting Idaho to the oncologist much sooner. I try to remember the good times with Idaho but it's still difficult to get past the guilt and the profound sadness. I feel like I have nothing to live for but in reality, I know I have so much to be grateful for. It has been a struggle but I have to get through this; that's what Idaho would want. 

Idaho,
I miss you so much. I love you more than anything in the world. Keep me close.
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amanda
Hi Idahosmom,

It is what he would want, for you to survive and thrive. But give yourself time, it has been a short time for both of us. I miss my Ruben with every breath and have to work to remind myself that I was lucky and blessed to have had the time with him I did.

I am thinking of you and I hope your heart finds peace.

Amanda








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Burl_B
Idahosmom, just know that you are not alone at all.  I had to send my Katy Lou, 15yr+ Chihuahua, to the Rainbow Bridge almost 4 weeks ago.  I still cry everyday.  This past Christmas and New Years were so quiet and lonely around here.  Every time I go in our backyard, I still find myself looking for her sometimes and then I remember.  She had a heart condition that just got worse and worse.  It got to where she could hardly walk and breath.  She had been passing out and coughing for several months and it kept getting worse.  We knew she did not have much time left, so we gave her all her favorite treats.  The next day, she started out okay, but whet down hill fast, and then I knew, it was time to make the call I did not want to make.  I miss her so much.

So for you and others around here, just know that you all are not on this journey alone.  Prayers for all.
Katy Lou, you will forever be in my heart.  Until we meet again.  Daddy loves and misses you so much.  You are daddys daughter.
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