dontharmanimals
She trusted me to do the right thing. The vet said she needed surgery for mammary tumors, so I took her in for the operation to remove the tumors. I didn't say goodbye because I assumed she'd be home to me the next day. The vet called me after the surgery to say she was "fine" and had made it through surgery, so I went to bed feeling like everything was okay. The next morning before I was to pick her up, the vet called to say she had died in the night. I couldn't talk or even ask questions so I told her I'd call back. It's been two days now and I haven't called back. I've had the fortune to own several dogs but she was the sweetest and smartest dog I've ever known. I am having a very hard time with this. I feel like I let her down when she trusted me to be there. Where is she now and is she afraid?
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CK1991
You were following the vet’s advice. They’re supposed to be the experts so we listen to what they tell us. Please don’t blame yourself. I also honestly don’t think your girl would have been frightened if she died right after surgery as the anesthesia takes a while to wear off. You’ve suffered a big loss in your life though and it’s very painful losing a beloved pet. Hugs to you!
CK
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BoxerMomForever
Oh my I’m very sorry. First don’t blame yourself. It’s so heartbreaking to lose these sweet pets. They are our world and we are theirs. Hugs to you....
Linda *Mom to two boxer angels* Lily {White Girl} 6/22/09 - 10/14/19  ** Ginger {Flashy Fawn Girl} 6/4/97 - 5/28/09
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Leathur
"Where is she now and is she afraid?"


She's at peace and unafraid. My thoughts and prayers go with you. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Mistysmama
Dear dontharmanimals,
I am terribly sorry about what happened after your girl's surgery. It is sad and unfortunate, and maybe she had a post-surgery blood clot. If that happened there was nothing the vet or you could do about it. It is still rare, but can and does happen, and it is no-one's fault.

You were doing the right thing for her, and still that accident occurred.

It sounds as if she died in her sleep, so that is a peaceful way to go even though it is still tragic.

I know....you couldn't say "goodbye". You didn't know this would happen.  You must feel so shocked as you had no time to prepare. I am so sorry.

But I also have to tell you that she will be okay.

No she's not afraid where she is now. My bet is she is still actually with you, though of course no longer in a physical sense. She may stay close to you and her familiar home for a short time, while she gets her new bearings, and decides what to do next.

I was fortunate to have strong connection with my dog Misty after she passed. I was shown that she stayed quite close to me for a little while before gradually transitioning to  her place in the next world.
(I do still sense her sometimes even now, 7 and a half years later.)

But my girl showed me only a tremendous amount of love. A feeling of freedom, and her contacts with me were full of love and contentedness.
I was surprised to sense those things from her and to discover they are real.

They don't hang on to the last vet's visit, or any pain. They don't "wonder where we were" or blame us for anything. They are Souls too, just as we are, and as Souls, are intelligent and spiritual Beings. They are aware they had to pass over and accept it.
What they take with them is the true meaning of your relationship with them, and theirs with you. And they do not forget love. They also sense our love sent out to them.

This has all been shown to me by my own dog Misty.
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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dontharmanimals
After compiling some questions I finally returned the call from my vet today and we chatted. They had prepared a little box for Jackie's body, and a paw print, for me to retrieve. Later this afternoon I made a little grave for her in the back of my yard. I included Jackie's favorite toys, her leash (she LOVED to walk and walk) and her little jacket and placed evergreens on the top with a beautiful piece of birch wood. I can see the grave from my kitchen window and when the weather is better I will plant a tree and flowers over her grave. 

You are all so kind to share your thoughts with me. We were all so fortunate to have known our pets. Hugs and much peace to all of you.
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Mistysmama
Dear dontharmanimals,
All of us here are with you as you prepare the resting-place for Jackie's body.
It's not going to be an easy thing to do, and I feel for you.
My Misty loved the earth, her feet smelled of it, and she liked to dig for moles (though never caught one!) So I managed to bear that in mind as I buried her body.
But it still feels very very difficult and tears your heart.

It's good that Jackie's grave will be in your garden quite close to the house. My Misty's is too.
We can tend their graves easier that way....find nice things to plant and put on that very sacred ground. And when the Spring comes it will look so beautiful.

I planted a tiny nasturtium on my girl's grave. It grew to tremendous proportions! I supported it with a bamboo stick, but soon had to go to the garden centre and buy an 8ft pole! That one tiny plant grew to over 9ft tall, and more than 3ft wide!

I knew that was my Misty's last gift to the earth she loved so much. Many species of bees and butterflies feasted on it. It was her gift to them too.
I took seeds that year, and grew new plants from them, and so on, over the years. So every single nasturtium is a descendant of that original one.

It was good that your vet prepared Jackie's body and it sounds as if they have been very sensitive to you. That helps.

My kind thoughts sent out to you. And we are always here for support should you need us.

Blessings to Jackie's Soul....her True Self now who will always remember and love you.
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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dontharmanimals
When Jackie was alive and I went into the grocery store she'd wait for me in the car to come out, and like most dogs, she'd press her nose up against the window to watch for me. I picked up some art supplies today and as I was getting out of the car at the art supply store I noticed all of the smudges on her car window. I was doing alright until then and I almost sobbed out loud. 

By the way I'm going to use the art supplies make a DIY bird house to hang above Jackie's grave. 
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CK1991
Those reminders like her smudges on the window are so painful!
Beautiful idea!!! Jackie will love it!!
Hugs to you!
CK
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