tiffany_mcbride
My heart had been ripped from my chest three days ago and I stumbled upon this site out of sheer hope that I could find something to help me cope with the sudden and tragic loss of my beloved dog, Shooter.

I've had Shooter since he was 8-weeks-old, he was a blonde haired Toy Poodle and from the day we met, we've been inseparable. Unfortunately, we would only spend 7 of those years together, but it was long enough for me to grow a love for him so strong that even the sheer thought of ever losing him made me cringe. He always had to be near me and when I would stand, he would always want me to carry him like a baby...and I would!

The day of the tragic accident was like any normal day. We had just moved to a new house that is located off of a main road and I've always been weary because of the location. Unfortunately, my dogs are roamers when they go outside and I would always worry about if they got out what might happen. So, we educated our children about the responsibilities of keeping doors/gates closed to prevent such accidents. It was Sunday, October 18th and we all got up and headed off to church. It was a gorgeous day and I was ready to enjoy it. We came home and I was sitting in the kitchen with my husband when I heard Shooter begin to throw up. I decided to let him out so he could throw up outside instead of inside. A few minutes later, my daughter, Laurrie came inside and asked where the dogs were. Of course, we responded with "outside." She was very adamit that they weren't in the backyard. We all get up at that point and go outside to the backyard. I began frantically calling for my dogs. I see Gunner come from the backyard out of no where, so I assumed at that point that Shooter had to be near because him and Gunner don't go anywhere without each other. But, I couldn't find him. My husband ran around to the side of the house to look there and still no luck. We realized at that point that one of the kids left the side gate open. Again, we were all calling his name and still nothing. I was in panic mode, but tried not to go postal. I'm extremely protective of my dogs! As we were standing there, all of a sudden we hear this horrific crying; almost like a child's cry. Both my husband and I took off running for the front of the house. At that point I knew the sound of that cry was coming from my baby...Shooter. I had tunnel vision and just wanted to get to him as fast as I could. I met my husband in the street where I saw my Shooter laying in the road covered in blood and crying frantically. My husband scooped him up and carried him to the front yard. I collapsed and started screaming at the top of my lungs! He was alive but he was in severe shock and pain. My heart broke because deep down inside I knew he wasn't going to make it. My kids were screaming and crying and I was trying so hard to pull myself together, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. We wrapped him in a towel and brought him into our room to discuss our options. Every now and then, Shooter would sit up and walk on his front legs, but then he would collapse and start biting his legs and scream out in pain. I tried comforting him by rubbing his head and kissing him. It seemed to calm him some. He smelled of road burn and tires...the truck that hit him didn't try to prevent the accident; in fact the truck didn't even stop to render aid or nothing...he/she just didn't even care. My dog, my Shooter was nothing more than an inconvenience to that person. We decided to take him to the pet hospital to see if he had a fighting chance, plus there was no way in hell I was going to make him suffer. If he needed to be put down, then I wanted it to happen that way...as peaceful as possible. The entire drive there I cried and cried. I couldn't wrap my head around having to say goodbye. How could I? I didn't want to...I wasn't ready. In the back of my mind I had a glimmer of hope, but I already knew the truth. As we arrived at the clinic, I opened the back hatch and there he was looking at me with those big brown eyes. I could see the pain in his eyes and I began to sob again. They took him in immediately and informed us of the damage. He had a shattered pelvis, internal bleeding, possible back bone break and herniated intestines. They said surgery was possible but that it would cost thousands of dollars and no guarantee that he'd make it or even be the same afterwards. They left us alone in the room and that's when I made the hardest decision of my life to put him down. I didn't want to...I begged God to please wake me up from this nightmare. They brought Shooter in so I could say goodbye. I told him how much I loved him and how much I was going to miss him. I apologize immensely to him and rubbed his eyes. I kissed his sweet face and promised him I'd take good care of his buddy, Gunner. I told him he was a good dog and my best friend and that I'd see him again. I asked for his collar and they took him away, we signed the papers and I layed my head on the table where he once laid and I cried. Driving home was the hardest...not much was said and I dreaded walking through the door to explain to my kids what we had to do.

It's been three days and I've been an emotional roller coaster. The first day, I cried the entire day...yesterday was a little easier, but I still cry. I know in time my heart will heal, but I have this empty gap. I miss his barks, his wet nose, his kisses; even worse, him sleeping with me and sitting with me on the couch. I miss him terribly. My kids seem to be okay and that makes me feel a little better. We've talked about going to a shelter and adopting a new fur baby to give Gunner a play mate. I fear he will get too depressed and I'm hoping it will take my mind off of things.

I can't get the images out of my head and I can still hear his cries. I try to focus on the good times, but I have such guilt. I feel like it's my fault and I hate that I wasn't the last thing/person he saw when he needed me the most. I love my dogs and I would never put them in a situation that would harm them. I'm understanding it was an accident and he shouldn't have strayed from the home. I'm coming to terms slowly but surely.

I love and miss you, Shooter. I look forward to the day of you being in my arms again. Brown eyes, I know you are at peace and overall out of pain. I know deep down inside I made the right choice for you. Please don't forget me and I hope you know just how much I love you...
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Ana
Hi Tiffany

Your story of Shooter is absolutely heartbreaking. I can see why you are devastated. Try to be gentle with yourself. I can tell how much you loved him and you would never have let him go outside if you had thought he was in danger in anyway. I started crying when you talked about the cries he was making. But you were there for him- you picked him up and rushed him to the vet and he knew how you loved him and that you were trying to make him feel better. And you did! You made the decision to free him from his pain even though you were going to miss him more than you could ever imagine. When my dog Leo died in August his last three breaths were awful- it felt like he was trying with all of his might to get some air and it couldn't. This haunted me for a long time-it still does. There is a section of this form titled "Will our animals be in Heaven " (or something close to that). It lists a number of texts in the Bible that talk about how any living thing has a soul and that our animals will be in heaven. It was a comfort to me. I know you are just raw with pain and loss right now. This site has been wonderful for me- the people here are so caring l. Try reading some of their stories and you will find how many people here that are in the same sort of pain you are. You aren't alone. I found out the more I reached out to others the better I felt. I will be keeping you and Shooter in my heart and prayers. ~ Ana
Larchana Behrends
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Bizbol
Tiffany,

That is a horrible story. Losing beautiful Shooter to such a tragic accident must be extremely hard. I'm very sorry you had to part ways in such a manner.

What Ana wrote is true. Never would you have put Shooter's life in danger. I understand that you are feeling guilt, but the accident wasn't your fault at all.

I wish I could be of more help. I can only hope that this site will help you. Again, what Ana says is true. This forum has been a lifesaver for me. The simple fact of knowing I was not alone helped me. The people here are truly caring and understanding.

I wish you lots of strength and courage,

Eric

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ahartofilis
Hello,
      I am also very sorry for the tragic loss of your beloved poodle, Shooter. How absolutely terrible to have to see your baby injured so terribly and no one around to account for it. You are obviously a very responsible owner. Please don't take on the blame for how things happened. I have two young grandchildren that live with me and the door has been left open more times then I care to admit with the opportunity for a pet to escape.
       You took quick action and did the best thing you could for Shooter. I know that you are left with disturbing images and sounds of his last moments. Please be assured that everyone here has lost a furbaby and can relate to your loss. I hope that you are able to find comfort here in the days ahead.
       Again, I am very sorry for the loss of your boy Shooter. I am certain that my girl Coco has welcomed him to the Rainbow Bridge with her loving nurturing spirit. My heart really goes out to you.  .........Please take care..........Sincerely, Andrea.
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Missingher
I'm so sorry for your loss of sweet Shooter. I know it feels impossible right now but this will get easier. I honestly thought I was going crazy when I lost my girl a year ago.
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