myangel1
I had to euthanize my cat Angel a couple days ago. She was 14 years old and I feel so guilty. I should have taken her to the vet sooner. I thought it was normal for older cats to become scrawny, until one day I looked it up and read that it was a myth. I took my sweet girl to the vet and she had hyperthyroidism. The vet was optimistic and started her on a pill I would give her everyday and said that this will not fix the problem, but should stop her weight loss and hopefully gain weight back. She personally has seen cats live for many more years once they started the medication. I took angel back a couple weeks later for a checkup to make sure she was handling it well. She was but still lost just a little weight so the vet increased the dose. For awhile she was alright but then got an upper respiratory infection. I took her back to the vet and they gave her antibiotics through iv and some canned food. For a few days after she loved the canned food and her mood seemed better. But later that week she stopped eating much or drinking much. The vet gave me some more medication to help with nausea and appetite. It did not work and she was still drooling excessively. They asked me to bring her back in the end of the week if nothing improved. Angel acted like she wanted to eat but couldn't. For some reason I knew that week it would probably the last moments I would be able to spend with her but I didn't wanna accept it. I dropped her off a couple days ago at the vet and they called and said the good news was that the thyroid was not blocking her throat or pushing against her esophagus, but her tongue has a severe infection in it and was turning purple. Which means the tissue is trying to die. The vet advised I could try antibiotics, pain medicine, and feeding her through a syringe until the infection went away, if it actually would go away. The prognosis was not good due to the severity. The infection was the cause of her not being able to eat, I believe it was too painful. The vets other option was to let her go. A surgery for something like that would be very hard on her for her age and I did not want to make her go through that just because I didn't wanna let her go. I chose to free her of her pain but it was very difficult because the last couple weeks she was very clingy to me and was very happy to have my attention. Which usually dying cats want to be left alone but some do become very clingy for comfort. I came back to the vet and had a few minutes alone with her. She perked up and meowed at me when I walked in the room. The vet showed me her tongue which was indeed purple. Angel weighed 8.6 lbs in march and to a couple days ago on Friday. She only weighed 6.4lbs. She was a decent size cat and should weigh at least 10lbs minimum in my opinion, but most likely around 11 or 12lbs. She lost about a pound within that week from not being able to eat and her thyroid dose was decreased while she was sick from the upper respiratory infection. I held it together until they sedated her then I lost it for a minute. I held her and stayed with her until she died. I got her cremated and I will have her ashes in a box. I keep randomly crying through the day and I can't seem to cope well with losing her. She was just as hard to lose as another person and I just can't seem to stop feeling extremely depressed and guilty. Sorry for the long post, I miss my baby so much.
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Caverlady
I know how you feel. I had to put my beloved Sheltie, Maggie down on Fruday. It was the right thing to do, but my heart is torn into shreds. My eyes are still red and swollen and my voice is hoarse from sobbing.
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catiebee
I am so, so sorry. It is terribly hard to lose one and heartbreaking, trying to cope with they are ill. I well know the how all of this breaks your heart, and my heart goes out to you very much. Be good to yourself while your grief is so, so raw. Thinking of you and sending hugs.
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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myangel1
I'm not sure if this is allowed in here, but is anyone here a Christian? Do you believe we will see our pets again one day?
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Caverlady
I'm a Christian, and I have read differing opinions on this. I am praying hard that we will be reunited one day.
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catiebee
Myangel1, I'm a believer and I do.  I know that it comforted me, both when I lost my previous dog and before my recent loss, to read books by Christians who had searched the Scriptures about this question.  I can't find the newer one that I read a few weeks ago, but there are several out there.  In 2006 I remember finding it helpful to read "There is Eternal Life for Animals" by Niki Behrikis Shanahan. She goes through a lot of verses. 

Much comfort to you! 

 

Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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Caverlady
I just wish I could have my baby girl back. This is agony.
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catiebee
Caverlady, I said that for weeks, about wanting her back. I hope you will start a thread and talk all you need to about your girl and your loss. It really is soooo difficult, so horrendously painful! I think it really helps to connect with others who understand.
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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sds
myangel1,  I am so very sorry for your loss.  I understand your sense of guilt and pain of loss. These early days are extremely hard.  I hope you find some moments of respite during this excruciating time. 

I chose to euthanize my kitty 5 weeks ago and still feel guilty.  My kitty too had trouble swallowing and had lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time.  On the last day, he was getting weak, biting the water in his bowl, sticking his whole face in, and still not able to drink.  It was terrible to watch.  I too wish I had dealt with his ear pain/infection earlier (e.g. we should have tested for allergies years ago) -- maybe then it wouldn't have progressed to this point.  Even though we had taken him to the vet several times, tried antibiotics and ear drops, his symptoms got worse to the point where he couldn't blink or swallow.  Even the vets didn't have much to say other than that it could be infection or a mass-possibly malignant.  He'd have to have a CT scan or MRI, surgical biopsy then major surgery to treat it.  But my kitty, like yours, was too old and ill to undergo anesthesia and surgery safely, so I thought nothing could be done (I'm still processing this).  Sometimes, even if we bring our kitty to the vet early on and do all the right things, sometimes nature/disease/aging is too great even for the best that veterinary medicine can offer.  I know it's little consolation when we have experienced such a huge loss.  And I know it's natural to feel guilty, but I hope you'll eventually find some resolution and a sense of peace. 

It's clear you loved your kitty very deeply and wanted only the best for her.  And she loved you so much!  It seemed you did everything you could including the hardest thing - to prevent further suffering.  I wish you peace and comfort during this unbearably sad time. 
Sharon
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Lamont
I am so sorry to hear about your cat. My sweet Bertie lost her battle with hyperthyroidism about a month ago. Like yours, the medications weren't enough to stabilize her thyroid, and she developed congestive heart failure.
It's a dreadful disease that no cat should have to suffer. 

When you are up to it, please PM if you want, Ive done a lot of reading on Feline Hyper-T and if and when you are ready to adopt again, there are some steps you can take to reduce the risk.

This forum has lots of caring, supportive, grieving pet owners who have helped me deal with the raw emotions of Bertie's passing. I am not a counselor myself but there are a few here who are so wise, and willing to offer their support.

What they tell me, is that someday we'll be able to focus more on the sweet memories and not the loss, and I believe they are right. I have managed to live through the most stinging, deep, hurt, and am slowly feeling some hope creep in to the corner of my heart.

I hope you have a better day tomorrow.
Bertie's Daddy
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myangel1
It's been almost three weeks. For a minute there I seemed to start coping well and was able to stay positive. But now I'm falling back down and I miss her so much. My heart is hurting so bad I don't know if I can go through this again.
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