Laurzie24
My kitty Sherman was eleven years old, and he died today, September 14, during surgery.  He stopped breathing when they put the breathing tube in his throat.  He had been sick a while and we tried everything to make him well.  In June he came down with what seemed to be a cold.  I took him to the vet and they found that he had swollen lymph nodes in his neck and an infection in his nose.  He had bad teeth so I had a dental done.  Three teeth were extracted.  We assumed his problems were from that.  The infection didn't clear up so we tried new antibiotics, and after a few rounds he seemed to improve.  Near the end of August the infection came back and he started having rattled breathing. We took him in again and we tried stronger antibiotics and a nasal flush.  A few days later he started have bloody discharge from the nose in both sides.  Last Thursday we had an x-ray done and the doctor found an infected piece of bone in his sinus cavity (a sequestrum).  Today he went in for surgery to have that removed but they lost him before they even started the procedure.  He just stopped breathing and they couldn't revive him.  He hadn't been eating much of anything for the past week and I had been syringe feeding him.  I prayed constantly that he could get through this and I'm so heart broken.  The doctor said Sherman's eye looked swollen and there may have been a tumor there.  He's going to perform an autopsy so we can have some answers.
I found out about two hours ago that my kitty had passed away and I've been crying ever since.  I can't believe how bad this hurts and I don't know how I can ever feel happy again.  I am an emotional wreck.  I have never had any children of my own and he was my baby.  I loved him so much.
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donnalee
Laurzie24,
That is so sad.  Bless your heart.  You and your vet did everything possible to save your baby.  Your little Sherman had been through a lot.  I know that nothing is going to take away the sadness and pain you feel at this moment but, with time, you will start to remember the 11 wonderful years you shared with him.  We wish we could keep them with us for our whole life.  They are a part of us.  Please know that I and everyone will be here with you while you cry and grieve and eventually heal.  I'm so sorry Laurzie. 
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GrievingGinger
I'm so sorry for your loss!  Sherman sounded like a very loved cat.  It's so sad to see our babies go, but you were blessed to have him for 11 years!  It sounds like you gave him a very good life! 
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Becky

I'm so sorry.  I'm still grieving the loss of our Bert who died June 15th after 10 wonderful years with him.  I grieve with you.  You did what you could.  You wouldn't want your baby to suffer/

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judylinn
Im so so sorry about Sherman. I too have no children and maddie was my baby, so indeed I understand. I know the kind of grief you are in, it is right to the bone, it hurts right to the soul. I wish I could be there to help you, but I can be here, as others can.
I would not have made it through this awful time, except for the kind people here. I have been here everynight since Maddie died, sometimes sobbing as I write, just to have help and understanding. we will be here for you as well.
You did all you could, but I am glad that you will know what exactly happened.
again I am so sorry, please come and be with us when you need to, and tell us about sherman.  much love  Judy
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Chloe4631
Dear Laurzie24,
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. I too am grieving for my baby. I miss her so much. I feel like a zombie. I honestly do not know what to say to make you feel better because I'm in your shoes right now too. It just really sucks that this has to happen. I don't have children either and don't plan on having any. My cats are my babies and Chloe was my first. We were so close. I hope that you get the answers you want from the autopsy. I will pray for you.
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tikibarb
I am so sorry that you lost your kittie today.  It is so painful to live through this, especially when it is really expected.  I lost my precious Ted on 7/7 and am just starting to get it together.  It is a long and painful journey.  There area  lot of people here who can really help when you are down.  Everyone here knows what the pain feels like.  I will ask Ted to look out for Sherman and help him get settled at the Bridge.
Barbara Lyngarkos
My Beloved Ted 8/7/2005 - 7/7/10
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/TED001/Resident.htm
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niki
oh i am so sorry to read your sad post, that is so heart breaking, i dont have any children either and my cats are always my babies, i lost one this year age 13, my heart is broken always , each cat is so different.

I cant stand to be away from my Ocelot now, i treasure every second.

what you have been thru will take time, all that vet stuff ....just try to be strong, here is a good place to visit,

i know how much this hurts..................i wish i could say or do more

Niki
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Boogie
That initial shock and pain is beyond anything else I have ever experienced. My heart goes out to you. My Boogie was also my child and it is a cruel, cruel price we pay for our deep love to have them taken away so soon. But they are in a better place now, certainly better than their last days here on earth. And we will get to be with them again, believe in this with all your heart. 

Keep reading and writing here, it is such comfort.  
My Boogie died on 3/25/2010. She was the best dog anybody could ask for. I will be with her again when my time comes.



A drawing of Pax by Heather Spears. She specializes in bereavement and is wonderful to work with, she understands how we feel. She can be reached at spears.heather@gmail.com
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Polly
I'm so sorry for your loss. My husband and I can't have children so Casper was like our child and losing him was just the worst experience. I so understand how you're feeling.

My heart goes out to you...take things one day at a time and try to come here if it all gets too much, it's a lovely place. Also try to take comfort in the fact that Sherman is at peace now, with all our lost babies to play with, feeling his renewed kitten vitality!

Take care

Polly
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otto12
Im so sorry for your loss. We all know what you are going through. There are no magic words that will make the pain go away just know that we are all here for you.

Sherman is at a better place now, happy and healthy. He will for sure send you signs that he is still close to you. The pain will get better but we just dont know when. I lost my Jalle about 3 months ago and the pain is still so strong.
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Laurzie24
We got the results of the autopsy this afternoon.  Sherman had a large mass in his sinus cavity and it was most likely a malignant tumor.  There was massive swelling in his sinuses all the way up to his eye.  The tumor on the xray just looked like infected bone so it was misleading.  Nasal tumors in cats are almost always malignant, and I've read that the prognosis is usually about 3 to 5 months life expectancy after onset of symptoms.  Even surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy don't really help with these types of tumors.  It's pretty rare in cats.
Last night was rough.  I cried for many hours, so long that my head felt like it might explode.  I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep.  
Having the autopsy done brings some comfort because I know that maybe it was a blessing that he passed when he did so he didn't have to suffer anymore.  With nasal cancer, he would have continued to go downhill.  He was pretty bad even in the last week of his life.  I had to syringe feed him or feed him from a spoon, but he was so brave, braver than I'll ever be.  It was just such a shock to lose him at surgery.  Yesterday afternoon, I called to see when I could pick him up and they put me on hold.  The doctor came on the phone and told me what happened and it was such a shock.  I was devastated.  I know Dr. Daines was sad too because he got attached to Sherman.  I had been bringing him in several times a week these past two months to get penicillin injections because the nasal infection wasn't going away.  Now I understand why.  I suspected it might be a tumor.  I read about it.  I prepared myself.  But I was never fully prepared for the pain I would feel losing him.  I would give anything to hold him once more and look into his eyes to tell him how much I love him.
I hope he knows how much he meant to me.  He truly was my baby and always will be.
Thank you for all your loving words.  The pain is still so raw.  I don't know when I will feel whole again.
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TootiesGuardian
Laurzie24,

I'm so very sorry for you.  I know how terrible you are hurting.  I know the heartbreak is unbearable.  You sound like you're speaking for me in your grief.  I have the same hurt as you do.  I know so well how you're feeling.  I'm so sorry you are hurting so bad too.  Bless your heart!

Sherman is pain free now and he will be waiting for you at Rainbow Bridge.  The love you had for your cat sounds so similar to the love and devotion I had for my beloved Tootie.  I lost her to a rectal prolapse 15 days ago.  I know how overwhelming the grief is and how your head feels like it will explode from so much crying.  It breaks my heart knowing you are hurting so bad.

My Tootie was my baby before I had children.  I didn't start having children until my early thirties.  Cats were always my children.  I was afraid I wouldn't love my children as much as my cats.  I did however, but it has been a completely different love altogether.  So I know how you are hurting now that your "child" is gone. 

You have come to the right place.  Everyone here are angels in my book.  You couldn't find more wonderful, caring and supportive people.

Please don't hesitate to call on us.  We do understand your grief.  And it does help tremendously to reach out for support.  It has helped me more than I could have ever imagined.

xoxo,

Sherry
Tootie ~ Sep. 1, 2000 - Sep. 4, 2010
Shine on you beautiful diamond!
Blueboy ~ Feb. 14, 1989 - Dec. 31, 1993
Always in my heart!
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tikibarb
You can never truly prepare for the loss of a beloved furbaby.  Doesn't matter how much notice we have.  The pain is still so debilitating. I am happy that you have had some measure of comfort from knowing that he was spared so much pain and suffering.  This is s great place to share in your pain.  Everyone here understands the pain and anguish you are feeling.
Barbara Lyngarkos
My Beloved Ted 8/7/2005 - 7/7/10
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/TED001/Resident.htm
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judylinn
Laurzie,,,when I cry for maddie, which is alot, I also think of what her last days were like. I am so thankful that I had the courage to release her from her pain. Just know that your beautiful baby, is no longer hurting. she is free from all that pain, and is now your little angel. It took me a long time of yearning for Maddie, to realize that that was making the pain worse..she couldn't come back. My wise counselor said, instead of yearning...feel like you are huggin sherman into your heart..it may make you cry more, but you will feel love..instead of the black hole of yearning.  easier said than done,,but now I am better at it.  when I miss Maddie all through the day, I hug her into my heart and send her the love, and then I try and receive the love back into my heart from her. It does help me.
that said, I just sobbed my heart out day after day, and do for a bit each day, though now I am getting more acceptance. Sometimes, that is the only way through it. Love and prayers to you.
ps..it also helped me to plant some flowers, and a tree for maddie. and right now I have the most beautiful sunshine yellow flowers by her picture. and at times, I light a candle as well, to remind me that the flame of love is eternal, that love for your baby is always there. there is a chord of love that binds you forever.  hugs to you.
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