Bworms1980

Below is the list of events that ultimately ended in his death:

  • Sunday night April 5, we found a wound in our 17yo dog Rage's stomach while bathing him, we didn't know how it happened, but my MIL later told us it looked like a large boil that burst

  • Had surgery Monday April 6 to close wound in lower abdomen

  • Friday 10th, he stopped eating and had diahrrea

  • Saturday 11th he started throwing up everything including water

  • Every time he drank water he threw it up and kept throwing up bile for hours

  • He would stand in one place for a long time

  • Monday 13th, took him back to where he had the surgery. 

    • I had called them and explained that he's not eating and he's throwing up all his water, so he's not had food for days and barely any water and they just keep saying to give him the new medication
  • They said it was the medications vetprofen and batril that were making him sick

  • They gave new medications - metronidazole and omeprazole

  • They ignored the fact that he's not eating and can't keep down water. They didn't do anything for him besides prescribe new meds and sell us specialty dog food that he won't eat

  • Tuesday 14th, he can't get up and is now vomiting where he lays, he was suffocating on his vomit so I decided that I would stay awake the whole night to keep an eye on him

  • We wanted to take him to another vet because I don't feel like the other ones are listening

  • Approx. 1am April 15 he started jerking, his body bowed backwards in a seizure, I called my husband to help me look him over

  • He examined him and then started yelling his name, I realized he was dead

My heart is breaking because I can't stop thinking of the what ifs. That first Sunday when we found the wound, my husband had picked out a vet hospital but it was closed. We found another that was open but it was full and we spoke to vet who calmed us down and since the wound wasn't bleeding, they said to come the next day (Monday). Since we were waiting until Monday anyway, we should have continued looking, instead we took him to that vet. I wish we had taken him to the one my husband had first picked.

I feel terrible when I think of the fact that he was laying there dying. I'm angry that I took him back to that vet and they did nothing. I thought they would at least give him an IV since he wasn't able to keep down water for days. By the time we realized he wasn't getting better ( when he vomited where he lay) there was nothing we could do because there are no 24 hour vets near us.

I always tried to care for him as best as I could and I feel that I let him down. His last week of life was suffering. I had no idea if he died of old age, or if they botched the surgery, or if he died from lack of water, since he kept vomiting after drinking. 

Now everything I've been reading says he was dying probably of old age, yet the vet never noticed. He charged us 1k for the surgery and we have started to suspect that they knew or didn't care that the surgery was too much for him but they just wanted the money. He went downhill fast days after the surgery.

I'm just so upset that vet did not seem to get the urgency. I kept trying to impress upon her the fact that he had not eaten in days and was going on 2 1/2 days of little water.

My husband is sad as well, and I have to keep remembering that because he wasn't very concerned when our dog was first sick. He kept saying to would get better in a few days. It wasn't until today that he realized that things weren't going well. When I started yelling about the vet I had to keep reminding myself not to throw his inaction at him. He's hurting as well and kept apologizing to me and our dog.

I'm just so sad and don't know what to do. We were getting ready to take him to a new vet Wednesday morning because I no longer trusted the other one. We were then left trying to figure out what to do with his body that was covered in our living room for 12 hours.

It's now been a few days since he died and due to the fact that I have a poor memory, I keep waking up and forgetting that he's gone. The pain seems to start anew every day. The anger has not waned as I keep thinking of what ifs. I just keep playing everything over in my mind of what we could have done differently and really wishing we had gone to the first vet we had originally chosen. I just wonder when it will stop hurting so much.


I will miss you Rage
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Kelly_1968
Trust me i understand  . I too feel the doctors could have done more. When i took my dog chocolate to the hospital last summer because he had some pain in his back we werent sure if it was a pulled muscle etc. Well they did blood work etc and his sugat was 400. Well they told my vet but no response. So in December i noticed he was peeing alot so we took him in and found out he had diabetes. His blood sugar was 500. She was like oh i see it was high last summer. Well why didnt someone say something earlier. We got him on insulin but it was such a struggle to get him to eat every 12 hours. He was so picky and free fed his moist and meaty , the only dog food he would eat. They tried giving me a can of mush and i told her he would not eat it. I made homemade diabetic dog meals and he would pick through them and them not eat at all. So we would try every day to get him to eat so he would get his insulin. I feel guilty too now, should we have taken him back for his lack of eating, or his poop that was darker and soft and oh the questions i ask now. Did i overloom another problem. Some days he would have zoomies and act so normal. But we were so busy in our lives working 50 hours a week and going through the motions. Believe me  i fwlt so guilty when i put him down. He had ketoacidosis throwing up so much water and had refused to eat. I knew that 70 percent of dogs who get keto will have it again . And i was very sure he had other things going on. So i chose to put him down. He was 10 years old and i loved him more than anything.  I miss him so much it hurts my soul. He was always there for me and  i could hug and kiss him and live on him as much as i wanted
 I really miss that and here i am crying writing this to you. I cry less and i dont feel guilty anymkre. I know i did the right thing and he wont suffer w. I had regrets and guilt the first week thrn  finally it snapped and i started to accept it. I just cry cause i miss him. Dont let the guilt eat you up or regret. Your baby was loved so mucb and you did qhat you felt was right . If we all could go back. But now you have to accept jt as hard as it is. Its been 3 weeks since i lost  my baby that's why my tears are strong today. Well hugs to you. You aren't alone.❤❤❤
Kelly garrett
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Kelly_1968
sorry for the typos i was crying while i was writing
Kelly garrett
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Bworms1980
Thank you Kelly. And I'm sorry for you loss as well.
I will miss you Rage
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JulieF
Kelly and Bworms1980,

I am very sorry for your loss!  Bworms1980, Kelly is right.  You did everything you could for your babies - you took them to the experts and trusted in them.  Unfortunately, our animals can't talk to tell us how they are feeling so we can only do our best.  Bworms1980, your dog was 17 and obviously lived that long because of the wonderful care you gave to him.  Your pain is still very fresh, so it is tough to know that eventually things will start to get better.  But they will.  I had to put my 19 year cat, Patch, down two weeks ago tomorrow, due to kidney failure and I still question why I didn't try to do more for him - but, I have to accept and realized, they can't live forever.  He had thyroid issues for years and was just diagnosed with kidney failure in December.  All very common for older cats.  I did the best I could for him.  Gave him hid meds, tried to get him to eat as much as possible (he was losing weight and in the end, was very thin.  Two weeks ago he started to vomit - not little cat throwing up a hairball - but real vomit of all his food.  By Monday morning, he was not eating and was very listless.  He was in a lot of distress Sunday night.  I called my vet Monday but they could not get him in (even though it was an emergency - but that is another story).  I was frantic and did not want him to go through another 24 hours like he was.  I should have called around to another vet, but have since realized that because of COVID, they would probably not have taken me.  I had to make the decision to take him to our local humane society to put him to sleep.  I still beat myself up - even though my pet sitter (who know animals) told me she was surprised he was still alive after she watched him in February.  My boyfriend also told me (he was witness to everything and worked for a vet for years) that I did the right thing for him - he was obviously in distress.  He told me that the decision would have been the same 24 hours later but Patch would have gone through another 24 hours of distress. 

Bworms1980, I will tell you that after a few days, the pain became a little less acute.  For a while it feels like you are drowing in grief.  It still comes to me - especially in the morning when I used to sit with him on my lap while I was drinking coffee.  He was my lap cat.  My one special memory of the day before I put him down was sitting with him and "blinking" I love you with him (with cats you blink at each other).  You did everything you could and so did your husband - do not blame him.  He loved your boy just like you and you are both going through pain.

Anyway, I will keep you in my prayers that you will be able to have some peace with your decision.  I will also pass along a comment my pet sitter (who is also the director of our local humane society and a good friend).  She told me that she thinks part of the grief is that the time we used to spend caring for them - giving them their meds, walking them, bathing them, caring for them - is no longer occupied.  That there is a big hole of time.  

Hugs to you both.


 
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bluegreen_eyes
“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.” This quote is very true and with the loss of your dog, understandably the emotions we felt can be compared to what we can feel losing a loved one. Hopefully, you can get through it as quickly as possible and just keep healthy and safe.
bluegreen_eyes
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Bworms1980
JulieF wrote:
She told me that she thinks part of the grief is that the time we used to spend caring for them - giving them their meds, walking them, bathing them, caring for them - is no longer occupied.  That there is a big hole of time.  

 


Thank you all for the heartfelt replies. I think what keeps bothering me the most is that he suffered for nearly a week before he died. I wish the vets had paid more attention to him to let us know. It would have hurt but I would have rather put him down than leave him to suffer. 

The holes I now have in my day is definitely a big part of my depression. I get busy doing something and then I reach to pet him and remember he's gone. I go to take him for a walk, etc and once again remember.
I will miss you Rage
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curt
I often wonder about some veteriniarians. They take an oath to heal the sick and injured but money always seems to come first. I understand that they are in business to make money and need to pay the bills and pay their staff. I was taking my 13 year old Border Collie to a local vet and discovered she was in kidney failure.  The vet there told me there was nothing they could do for her and told me to just take her home and make the best of the time we had left. I felt like they were missing something so I took her for a second opinion to another hospital. They suggested we try admitting her to their facility and flushing the toxins from her system with a continuous IV of fluids.  Two days later, the result was the same, nothing they could to to help her, but my bill was $848 for those two days. We took her home and gave her all the love and attention we could but then on Saturday, she could barely stand and walk and just collapsed on the floor. We had a very nice vet in the area that was still making house calls, even with the corona virus scare, so she came out and assisted my Julie across the bridge. We never should have put her in the hospital, we would have had those two extra days to spend with her. Now she has been gone over a week and I still cry every single day. I miss her so damn much, she was my shadow for the past 13 years, went everywhere with me. My heart has been ripped out.
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Alanfar
Curt.. you did what you thought was best. I too have had tremendous guilt. Fancy had red spots on her belly about two weeks ago. I googled and looked at the images and they looked like black fly bites. She always had sensitive skin. We bathed her and rub coconut oil on her. By the next day they were almost gone and then could be barely seen the next. In another week spots were back but different. Took her to the vet as she also had a bad tooth that we knew abut that was bleeding. That is when things got bad. The spots were bleeding but we still thought treatable after a Vet Specialist. They next day she took a horrible turn and we rushed to emergency vet still thinking it was treatable with a blood transfusion. No matter the cost we  were going to have it done. Then we got that terrible call it was Evans syndrome and we had no other options. We rushed back as fast as we could and thank God she was alive when we all got there. We got to tell her how much we loved her and how much she meant to us. And then she was gone. LIke you I feel like we should have just kept her at home that last day and we could have had more time. You were doing what you thought was best but I totally understand. I have beaten  myself up , if I only had taken her earlier. Even though the vet said the dots would not have gone away if it was bleeding. They would have gotten worse. Julie knew you loved her and you were doing what you were doing out of love. I wish the pain would subside too and one day it will. I cry every morning and every time I see her picture. Someday the sad tears will be replaced by happy tears of the wonderful time we had with Julie and Fancy.
alan farlowe
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curt
People tell me that one of the best ways to move on afte losing a dog, is to find another shelter dog that needs a loving caring home. I would go out today and find a dog to bring home but the wife wants to wait a while and I can understand her point of view. She loved Julie as much as I did and did everything for her. The last few weeks we had to give Julie subcutaneous IV fluids every day to keep her hydrated as she was not drinking. I could not handle having to put the needle thru Julie's skin but my wife really stepped up and showed how strong she was.     
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Kelly_1968
We got another puppy 5 days after. Wasnt sure if it was the best decision but it felt right. I was just so upset and just randomly kept looking at dogs. She has helped quite a bit and even though i still cry several times a day i am offering another dog a good home and love. No one will replace my sweet chocolate but she has been alot of fun and keeps my mind busy.
Kelly garrett
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curt
I believe our dogs that have left us would not want us to be alone, they would approve of us giving another dog a happy, warm, caring home. 
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Chrissyfrank
When I read these stories it just breaks my heart. But it does make me wonder about veterinarians sometimes. I went through many different procedures to keep my paralyzed dog alive. Two vets were very honest with me and told me that my dog needed to go to heaven but then I found one that said no we can do this surgery and that surgery. I too suffer from incredible guilt of putting him through surgeries and dental procedures. He died one month ago I loved him so much I kept trying to save him. My condolences to you. A friend of mine said maybe I had to go through all those different veterinarians and opinions before I could let go.
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Kelly_1968
I know and she said we were doing the right thing, the veternarian. I still wonder. And only cause i miss him so much. But i know he was very sick. Thanks for everyone on here it definitely helps to let it out!!!
Kelly garrett
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