mrcatsam
Hello,

On 30 September, right after school started, I lost my dog to old age after 7 years of always having her by my side.
The next day, I woke up with a horrible sinus infection, moved homes, and went to school, pretending that nothing was wrong, because I felt like I didn't have the luxury of being sad. 
Since September I have had no acknowledgment of this loss even though I tried to tell a lot of people, and I have never felt more alone.
I am still enraged with even my closest friends for not making the effort to be there for me. I have been there to listen to them complain, I have sent them cards, I have been very welcoming and kind to them, and I got no sense of sympathy from a single one of them. 

If I can't find any support, how can I deal with this grief alone? Is it wrong to not forgive them?

Thank you,

Sam

Samuel
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Tgw1971
Sam,
I am so sorry for your loss. I had to put down my 11.5 year old English Mastiff down on Valentine's day this year. The worst and hardest thing I've ever had to do. I am so sorry you seem to be going through this alone. It seems you had a lot of change going on at the time which probably didn't help you very much. Just from reading your post I have to assume that you are quite young and so are your friends, which is not an excuse, but they may not have a clue as to what you are actually going through, never had to experience a loss. Believe me I know the pain you are experiencing and your friend in this is time. People sometimes don't understand that an animal is actually a member of the family, just like a parent or sibling, etc., they are always there with you and a constant in your life. When they are gone it is a void that is indescribable, a hole in your heart. I wish I had the answers for you, if I did I guess I wouldn't be here myself, but you have my heartfelt support💗
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mrcatsam
Tgw,

Thank you for your post. I'm sorry about your English Mastiff. 
I guess we all wish we had answers, don't we? I do try to understand my friends but sometimes what they do mystifies me. I think I'm seeing everything through the lens of grief, and when I can remove the lens, I see my friends as they are and see how they are there for me. Maybe they're lucky that they haven't had to deal with loss yet. 
Thank you so much for your kind post. It means the World to me.
Samuel
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Tgw1971
Allow yourself to grieve. (I know you have) You have that right that no one can take from you, to completely be open with your feelings. Which I feel you haven't allowed yourself, or felt like you've been able (or allowed) to completely do. I would have never suggested writing about these things until now, that was until I have had to go through this, but I have privately written a lot and it has been a release. Between myself and her, and that is what matters🤗
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Gmr
So sorry for your loss. I too have not had any support except on here. This site has been helping me. You have my support. Hugs to you.
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Tgw1971
Hugs to you too! My dog was geriatric to say the least. Many, many accidents. After we finally put her to rest, I cannot bring myself to clean. My mind says I'm silly, always been a clean freak, vacuumed and mopped every day, had to. But my heart says if I clean(my floors) that I am erasing her for good and I can't handle it right now. Much drool and paw prints she had. Can still see them though anyone who came in wouldn't notice. Probably gonna have to have my kids come clean for me or I may never be able to.
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mrcatsam
Thank you all so much; I'm glad there are sites out there like this with lovely, understanding people like you. I created a little shrine on her old bed with her bowl, and collar, and two little bandannas we used to wrap around her head (she hated it so much but it was adorable). Sometimes when I'm sad it just makes me happy to see something that was hers. 
 My dog smelled like nobody's business and we used to bathe her a lot, but we haven't cleaned her bed at all. Maybe you could keep one paw print somewhere and clean all the rest. Or (perhaps a worse idea, but it would look cool) you could drip candle wax on the floor where the print is, and when it dries peel it off and have a little paw relief that you could put on a shrine. I think you can also do that with packing tape or clay.
Samuel
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Tgw1971
When we had her put to sleep our vet actually gave us a noseprint and a paw print on the rainbow bridge poem. We also had her cremated so she's with us. Her paw prints on the floor just makes me feel like she's still here. She stayed in our spare bedroom on a futon, so hard to find a bed for a dog that large that she wouldn't squish or wear out in a week! So I'll probably put her in there, that was her comfort zone.
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Michelemh
I tend to talk to people who I know will understand. Sadly many people do not care or they just say sorry once. It is really hard. My dog passed away six months ago also. So sorry.
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