Rachel_Bradshaw
My dog Sissy has left a profound imprint on my life, and now that she's gone, I feel absolutely crushed and heartbroken. I've had her since I was 9 years old, and she lived to be about 14 years old. She was a Jack Russell beagle mix, and a rescue dog. We had to put her down Wednesday morning due to osteosarcoma in her hip that was getting worse and worse each day. She couldn't walk or eat and we could all just tell she was suffering slowly, even though she masked it like a champion. I've been crying since Wednesday morning and I cant make myself get out of bed or eat or anything knowing she won't be there with me. My 18th birthday is coming up as well, and I dread it because Sissy won't be there to celebrate with me. My life has always been so full of craziness and change that I found refuge in Sissy. She was my one consistent, unwavering thing I could always rely on to make me feel whole. I've never had to experience loss like this, and I don't know how to cope knowing that she's gone and I cant get her back. We buried her in our back yard, and that's the only time I get out of bed is to look out the window and check on her grave, as if one moment she could be standing there waiting for me to let her back inside. Every place in this house, this yard, this whole street, has some sort of memory tied to it that reminds me of Sissy, and it's just been agonizing to remember her sweet little face. Even in death as I carried her body in her favorite blanket home, her face was still the same sweet loving face it had always been, and that's been one of the hardest memories to deal with so far.
Rachel Bradshaw
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BoxerMomForever
Rachel, I am very sorry to hear about Sissy.   I know how heartbreaking it is to lose these precious pets.  They are family!  I know it’s hard but think of the happy times. It will take time, you need to grieve.  Do something in her memory.  I have put together a collage frame of Lily and Ginger, two of my dogs that passed. I look at it every day.   I lost my best friend Lily 6 months ago.  I’m still having a hard time.  It so difficult because they bring so much joy to our lives.  I was with Lily 24/7 for ten years, yes we were apart for vacation etc.  She was my walking buddy, my therapist, craft room assistant, nurse when I had something going on.  This community has helped me a great deal!  Sadly we are all going through this.   Hugs to you.  Since this site helped me I am sticking around to help others.  
Linda *Mom to two boxer angels* Lily {White Girl} 6/22/09 - 10/14/19  ** Ginger {Flashy Fawn Girl} 6/4/97 - 5/28/09
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JulieF
Rachel - I am so sorry for your loss!  Your dog was such a big part of your life and now there is a part missing.  I feel so sad for you, not just that you lost your friend, but that your 18th birthday (which should be a time of great joy) is going to be sad for you.  All I can tell you is that what you are going through is normal and it is ok to feel bad.  You did the right thing for her though - she was in pain and her quality of life was not good.  You gave her a wonderful gift - not just the gift of your love for 14 years, but the gift of letting her go when it was time.

I had to say goodbye to my 19-year old cat, Patch, last week and it still hurts - I miss him a lot.  I had him since he was a kitten and we went through a lot together.  I will tell you that in few days, maybe a week, little by little you will be able to smile when you remember her.  A lot of people make memorials to help them get through or write down memories.  I have kept a memory file on my computer and add things when I think of them.  This forum had been very helpful.  Everyone here understands and is very supportive.

My heart goes out to you - bless you.
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Rachel_Bradshaw
I appreciate the thoughts and condolences. I wish it wasn’t such a bad time in our nation right now because I want to make a cross for her grave and I need to go buy the stuff to make it. I was going to paint it white with black spots since that’s what she looked like. I feel like making a memorial would help me a ton and give me a sense of closure. Not only that, but she deserves something special in her name after all she’s done for me the decade I had her. I don’t know how I would have survived middle school and then high school if she hadn’t been there. It truly is a blessing she made it long enough to see me through my senior year, because it’s been one of the most stressful, brutal school years of my life. If one good thing came out of this virus going on right now, it’s that I got to spend so much more time with my sweet angel before she had to go. I made sure I told her when it was just me and her body left In the car that she made my life so much better, and that she fulfilled her purpose here in Earth. I hope she heard me from Heaven, and that she knows her life was my life’s best part.
Rachel Bradshaw
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JulieF
Rachel - She knows and you and she were very lucky to have each other.

High school can be tough.  I know there is not a person on earth who would go through it again.  Please make sure you post a photo of the cross you eventually make for her.  I think things are going to lighten up here in the next couple of weeks and I hope you can get out to buy the supplies for her cross.  I also suggest that when things do open up, find a way to honor her memory.  Maybe volunteer at the local shelter.  

Good luck with everything.
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Mar
I'm deeply sorry for your loss, find comfort in knowing you did what was best for her ,your baby is no longer suffering. Yes, it's  very hard to let our babies go and know they're  not coming back...just remember the love,the bond you guys had   for each other. Find comfort in the sweet memories,they leave us wth. I'm still grieving  the loss of my Pixie, she was a chihuahua a beautiful, amazing little fur baby..I miss her daily..it's  been a month ,I still find  myself crying for my sweet baby. It's hard not to be sad or miss our fur babies,when they were our daily routine, that we did wth so much love. It's ok to cry ,to feel empty,feel pain , our body aches,  we have  mixed feelings, it's  normal, we lost our best friend, our fur babies.  Take care , and be kind to yourself. Try writing about her..to ease the pain. I find it helps. .
Blessings 
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