Rachesg
I Have just join this site because on Friday 24th at 7:00 pm I lost my beautiful Sweet baby girl and I am missing her desperatly. She was my everything, my baby, my best friend... I knew that I need it to be prepared since she was old , about to turn 14 on June 16, but she didnt seem to be that old on Monday she was running, barking and playing like always, she was strong and playfull I even bath her and took her for a walk. She had the best personality ever, she did different faces according to her mood, her barking had ritm and when she barked her long ears moved, she would listen to us and to every little thing we said, she seemd to understand our mood, feelings and words and her big eyes were always watching us deeply like she saw what is inside us, she also loved to jump and she jumped last week like always...
But on thursday she didnt eat and trow up, I took her to the vet and nothing was really wrong they send meds and send us home , she even play there, but that night something was wrong , she was sad her face look different like she knew, she refuse to sleep inside and kept wondering in the yard but it was cold, so I put Her favorit cushion and blankets outside ,she rest there while I was touching her head and ears but as soon as I left to get inside she went to rest on the grass. I wake up through the night several times to check on her, and she kept trowing up, early on the morning I took her to the vet again after forcing her to stand up (she was sleeping on one of her favorites spots, under the lemon tree), and the vets took her in for apperantly 2 days, something that I hated because she was never out of home for more than a few hours, but at 6:30 pm when I went to see her and bring her thinkerbell blanket she was not her self, she didnt move, Her breathing was forced and week. I told her how much I love her and thank her for everything on those years , I touch her and it seems she knew I was there because Her breathing begun to speed , I could not make myself to see her die, so my dad took me home (its 5 min from the vet), when we arrive at 7:00 we recievied the call.
Now that shes gone I see Her every where, on the back yard, under the tree, sitting in front of the door watching us on the kitchen, sitting in the porch, or playing with my mothers flowers... I cant stop crying, I dont believed it, I miss her... I keep crying specially in the morning when was the time for her breakfast and our morning play and at night because I miss telling her "good night", I also cry now that its raining because my feet move before I think to look for her trying to avoid she gets soake by rain and to protect her because of her fear of and I also cry every time I get home because shes not here anymore.
All thats left to do is buried her ashes on the last place she was , under her tree.
This pain is too strong, the sadness that is in my heart I just hope it goes away to keep only the good memories she left me, until I see her again in heaven!
Rachesg
Quote 0 0
Krista1974
I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your precious baby girl. It's hard, i know. I'm still grieving over the loss of my precious cat Emmit. He died on March 17th and i struggle with it everyday. It's not fair. It's heartbreaking. Your precious baby girl is at peace and i know you miss her. We miss everything about them. All their cute quirky habits....their personalities. You are not alone and i hope this forum brings you comfort.
Quote 0 0
bullymomma
I am so sorry about your loss. I just lost my baby on Monday. It's crazy to think how quick it can happen. My thoughts and prayers are with you!
I love my dear sweet babies! <3
Quote 0 0
Rachesg
Thank you Krista1974 and bullymomma !
Rachesg
Quote 0 0
MissingHula
I feel your pain, Rachel.  I lost my baby Hula on Sunday to cancer.  Diagnosed and died on same day.  She was 8.  I loved her so much.  I thought I was doing better today at work, but now I'm home and she is not here, so I bawling my heart out.  Can't stop crying.  Does it get better?
Quote 0 0
Rachesg
MissingHula I know what you are feeling , I just told my mom that I cant believe that tomorrow is going to be a week since shes gone , crying I would tell you to cry all you want, to talk about her whenever you need to . The first days are the worst later on you feel the abscence, in my case I keep forgetting shes not here and wake up early to give her breakfast silly right? Or every time its rainning I feel sad because I remember her looking for me to cudle, I mean I see her every where at all time , the most difficult part its when you get home every day and realice shes not here.
I suppose it gets better at least the crying , I havent cry all day since yesterday only when I wake up and at night , what I tried was write some kind of journal-diary for her with the things I did, thought, feelt, like if was talking to her.
Also since Her ashes are home I feel more calm because shes home now ,and I go to her when I miss her I also say good morning and good night to her. But something is for sure we will remember them always and we will feel their abscence, we just need to learn to live with it ... Difficult right? My head thinks that way but my heart dont get it yet am waiting the time pasees and things feel better.
Rachesg
Quote 0 0
tootsiesmom
I definitely feel your pain and know exactly what you're going thru. Yesterday was 2 weeks since I lost my Tootsie. It was a really bad day. I still look for her everywhere and think of her constantly. She left us pretty quick too. She was 9 1/2. I was told it gets easier. Sometimes I think it does then something triggers and I feel like it's day 1. All of us on here know how you feel and are going thru the same emotions. I know that doesn't help your broken heart, but know we understand and care.
Quote 0 0
Rachesg
Thank you tootsiesmom... I know what you mean , for me today feels like day one maybe because its been exactly a week since I lost my baby. I dont understand my mother or brother they just dont let me be sad, if I cry they tell me to get over it, if I talk about her they just dont listen or say something like: Stop it , what happend is done... Thats why when I feel really sad or remember I just take a shower to cry there or late at night I cry in silence.
I know in fact that all that lives has to die , but nothing prepare you for that moment, you never get used to it; I have never lost someone I love, well just my grandma but I was five and I really dont remember her much, Puppies ( its my baby name jiji, we were really young and saw the words in her first bag of food, later on we realice what a silly name was, but still it suit her) its the first love one to die.
I kind of understand my mother she doesnt want me to get sick but I need me time and I Have my own way to deal with the loss, but mom doesnt get it for example its been a week just seven days compare to 14 years of memories and her living presence and I didnt feel ready to go to the backyard or to the storage room where she had Her house, blankets, toys.... But no my mom send me there, and I crumble, she used to come running when I went outside, she own the entire yard, her house is empty, Her blankets are fold, there is no water or food, I dont feel her heat and I wonder why they cant live for longer?
I just keep praying to God that we can see them again.

Thank you and sorry if you see mistakes in my writting its been long since I write in english...
Rachesg
Quote 0 0
Millie
Oh what a sweet face.... I am sorry for your loss... The anguish is over whelming at times...Please find the comfort you need on this site . I have, just knowing that it is possible to love a pet thiiiiiis much and hurt so bad... xxxx to you and prayers... 
Shari Ostrowski
Quote 0 0
HB
So sorry to hear about your loss.  Your baby looks just like my baby - I lost him yesterday at the age of 11.  It is so hard and I miss him terribly.  I knew he was going downhill but I thought I had more time.  I am in so much pain.  Glad to hear it is getting somewhat better for you with time.  I will pray that we both come to have peace and know we did the best we could for our babies.
HB
Quote 0 0
gibsongirl
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.  I just lost my baby girl too.  Does this heartache ever let up?  I don't know that.  But, I do know that you aren't alone.  And you loved tremendously, and that's a lot more than many can say.
Angela
Quote 0 0