Shelly123
Last weekend our beloved border collie died at 16 years old (we had him about 14.5 years).  I watched him die, i feel like he suffered and I'm having guilt.  I cry everyday I miss him so much!! I can hardly breathe, this is has been a huge trauma for me.  He was such a huge part of my daily life, he is everywhere in this house, he was always with me.  My daughter was 4 years old when we adopted him, they grew up together.  i truly feel like a piece of my heart is gone, i cry in bed every night because he slept right next to me.  does this ever get better??
I would give anything to hold him see him just one more day.  ugh i cant stand this!! :(

thank you any advance for any feedback, prayers or tips and just listening.  
God Bless!

Shelly
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MyBella
Dear Shelly,

I am so, so sorry for the loss of your precious loved boy, when you feel up to it, I would love to hear more about him, his name and anything else you feel like sharing. Sometimes sharing with others on here about your precious boy helps with the loss. 
Shelly, you have lost a valued and loving member of your family, it is never easy, the pain you are going through is so raw and so new, it will take time Shelly, grieving has no time limit, so no need to rush or push yourself, baby steps is the best we can hope for right now, but each baby step is a huge accomplishment and never worry if you slide backwards, visit here if that happens, the people on this forum are some of the most loving, understanding and wonderful people you will ever meet and we are here to help you anyway we can.

Hold the many, many beautiful and loving memories of your precious boy close to your heart, may you feel his love surround you still, talk to him Shelly, let him know you love him and how much you miss him, he is always listening for your voice.

In time, may you find the wonderful and treasured memories of your boy helps bring the peace and healing your heart and soul desires and deserves.
I am so sorry for your loss.

Sincerely, Don & Vera

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toddle71
Shelly,

You loved and did everything you could for your dog.  Don't focus on guilt, just love.  Your dog loved you and any pain they wouldn't feel because of your love.   I lost my dog about two weeks ago and I decided that I would only focus on the love and the best care I provided for her and the memories.   Love outweighs anything.

Todd



TRD
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StephenD
Shelly,

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your baby. I lost my little Winnie on Friday night and have had considerable trouble sleeping. I realized today it is for a similar reason that you mention. My little dog isn't lying next to me. I try to go to sleep and the bed feels empty even though my wife is beside me. I even lie almost on the edge to make room as I have for the last 8 1/2 years. I have tried bunching a blanket or putting a pillow by my leg but it doesn't help. I can't feel the warmth of Winnie or hear her sleeping.

I am not sure if I can give you any tips given that I am in a similar place as you. I will offer you my prayers and my hope that it gets better. People keep telling me something similar and I have to believe them. It's hard to see that in the midst of despair. Maybe we shouldn't even try to until we are ready. My plan is to not try to force myself to feel any way other than I am feeling. If we need to feel sad or cry or feel lonely we should just accept it. We feel the way we do now because we have experienced a trauma. We feel the way we do now because we have lost a loved one.

While the words and encouragement of others will likely help, it is our own bodies, minds, and hearts that will let us know when we are ready to move to the next stage. We may not be fine right away but we'll slowly get better. Time doesn't make the pain go away, but it is supposed to help us deal with it.

Take care of yourself,
Stephen
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snakenole
So sorry, Shelly. I lost my boy, Leo, a little over two weeks ago. I just broke down crying. I don't cry as often as I did but it still hurts when it comes. I just go with it and then I usually feel a bit better afterwards. It's a real struggle coming to terms with the fact that you'll never see them again, but I promise it does get better. I've been through it before, unfortunately. It will take time, there is no way to rush it. But don't feel guilty. I'm sure you did everything you could. We are not perfect and we do the best we know how.

Peace to you.
Mike 
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