I’m so sorry for your loss, and losing them so suddenly and unexpectedly is one of the worst things to experience. I had that this past January with my Piggy (my 1year old pup.) He had developed pneumonia and the doctor said the most humane thing would be to put him to sleep. You aren’t selfish for feeling that way, and it’s completely normal to question every step in the process. I still go through that and it’s been 5 months since Piggy and I still regret not taking him sooner. It’s completely normal and valid.
Remember it’s okay to cry, let yourself cry. Let yourself mourn.
I think you truly did the right thing to help your baby. He is no longer suffering, and you being there to comfort him was the best gift you could give him. You gave him a beautiful 5 and a half sunset years. I’m so sorry for your loss and I wish you nothing but healing. 🌈🐈🐾