catmom69
I am hoping that by writing this out it will ease my pain.

A year ago a rescued a mom cat and her kittens and fostered them.  I fell in love with one of the kittens and begged my husband to keep her but he wasn't giving in.  I found wonderful homes for two of the kittens but I could not find a home for the mother and her two girl babies, so I contacted a local rescue that said they could take them in.  The night before we were to take them in, one of the kittens, the one I wanted to keep disappeared in the night without a tace.  Heart broken, we took her mother and sister to the rescue and I searched vigilantly for the other baby girl.  After three days missing she appeared in the morning and came into our lives again.  She became our Hershey girl.

Being outside all of her life, she refused to stay in the house, although we made sure she was in at night and when we weren't home so she would be safe, and watched her like a hawk when she was outside.  On Wednesday we didn't watch her close enough and when it was time to bring her in we found her dead in the road.  I cannot stop crying, and although we know we shouldn't have let her wander, there was no way we could keep her contained.  She would howl at the door, roll on her back and diligently claw at it until we were scared that she would make her paws bleed.  We also knew that we couldn't harness her because she was so wild she would have hung herself.

I don't understand why God would bring her back to us just to take her away again, I blame us for not trying harder and I still look for her when I go outside to see if it wasn't real.  I do have my two other cats to ease some of the pain but I am so lost without her.
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sydneyrose
Life works in mysterious ways. Despite our best efforts and intentions, accidents happen. It is not your fault. Just know that she had a good life during her short time on earth. Remember the miracle of her reappearance and the companion she was. Some of life’s longest lasting impacts are from the shortest time.

I too have lost my best friend (10 year old dog) unexpectedly. Jit’s remember the good times and remain strong, it is what she would have wanted.
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catmom69
Oh I know we gave her the best of everything, best food, medical care and all the toys in the world.  I feel it was selfish of me to want her so bad and not finding her a good home that could have taken better care of her.  My Husband, who was so attached to her, tells me that I need to understand that she died free and happy and not contained in the house that was driving her crazy.  I guess I never should have thought that I could take a wild kitten and make her love being inside.
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Mycatisanastronaut
My condolences. I recently lost my baby kitty too. It’s so hard but it’s not your fault.
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Isabellacat
Similar thing happened to my cat on Wednesday. My heart goes out to you.
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catmom69
So I guess you know what I am going through Isabella cat, I just wish I could stop crying.
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Mycatisanastronaut
Hugs. Eventually you will
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