Unleashed182
Yesterday I lost my sweet puppy boy. He was only 6 years old.. He had been having issues on and off since November, and in and out of the vet.. His liver was giving him issues and I kick myself so much now for just taking him to a regular vet because all they did was prescribe him antibiotics. And at first they would work and stop him from throwing up his food. My poor baby couldn't keep his food down. So it seemed promising, but then some time would pass after his antibiotics were through and I'd come into the living room and check the spots he'd go and hide and throw up. It was just difficult and frustrating that he wasn't getting better and he went from being 70 pounds to 42 pounds :( I felt so bad for my puppy I just wanted him to get better and be back to his normal goofy self..

It seemed like he went from one day being normal and running around the backyard to where we are now and my baby is gone :( my poor baby.. I took him to the pet hospital because I could see it in his eyes something was wrong and nothing was working for him.. The vet suggested we do an ultrasound if he wasn't doing better so the day before he passed I was calling all over the city crying and pleading to get an emergency appointment with anyone to get an ultrasound and no one would do it. So enough was enough I took him that day to emergency.. They said he had jaundice and was very dehydrated and they took him into the hospital..

That night we went in for visiting hours to visit with him. I just layed on the floor with him and kissed him and whispered all my puppy talk to him and kept telling him to get better and pull through this.. The image haunts me of seeing him with his IV bandages on his arms. I just wanted to scoop him up and run away with him and take him home and take away all his pain.. He doesn't like being away from home in strange places :( he even still did the thing he does when I kiss his ears, he would lean into me then just fall over and roll over to rub his belly.. It was like a special thing he only did for his mama, he didn't do that for anyone else..

So I was feeling hopeful that maybe he'd come home tomorrow, even if it meant he'd have to have a special diet, or pills or surgery, it didn't matter I'd do anything for him.. Well I got a call from the doctor yesterday that she would like to meet with me at noon and I could visit with him at the time.. I get to the hospital and she tells me that he's always had liver issues and that his liver was so small and close to failure and that his gallbladder was highly inflamed and so was his pancreas, it all feels like a fog to me I don't remember exactly what she was saying.. But she said we could do surgery but it was highly unlikely that he would survive it :(

I was absolutely devastated we all knew what had to be done.. My poor sweet baby boy died in my arms that day and I had a breakdown.. I was screaming crying in the parking lot.. I felt like my whole world crumbled around me, my heart was broken in a million pieces.. My poor sweet baby boy


His name was Jerry, Jerry Reed, after the singer.. A little history, I got him as a puppy from the shelter he was the last one of the group of pups that came in.. The moment I saw him he was perfect, the people at the shelter said no one wanted him because he had a floppy ear and his long hair was really crazy and sticking out everywhere. I couldn't believe she had said that. He was so perfect to me and precious. I adopted him and brought him home.. He was my first dog :) I was so overjoyed with love I adored him, there was a time that we did everything together, I took him in the car almost everywhere I went , took him to the park everyday, we'd walk down to the local Walgreens and get a redbox movie and bring it home and be lazy on the couch and watch it... I got him a kiddie pool and he'd dart around the backyard and splash through the water.. I bought him all kinds of toys, his favorites were a red chewy bone (which I still have and its in the backyard) and one of those stuffed ducks, he'd always throw it in the air and catch it..

Jer jer was my best friend, we went on hikes, went camping many times, he got to swim in lakes and swimming pools, he loved the water.. I took him to California once on a road trip to see my brother. He got to see many different dog parks and lived in many different cool houses with me.. Not only was he spoiled by his mama but also my mom his grandma.. I'm very close with my mom and he always loved seeing her so much..

I'm sorry this is getting so long, but what I'm struggling with the most is guilt this morning.. The months leading up to his passing, my puppy started to get aggressive with my other dog Titus , over food, over attention, and I was working on them both trying to fix the bad behaviors, doing research on how to be peaceful with one another.. I just wanted the two to get along , and I feel so guilty now for scolding him if he bit Titus or growled and nipped at his face.. I know it was because he wasn't feeling good, but I feel so bad now like I wasn't being kind to him :( I never hit them I was just firm when I scolded them and overly praised the good behavior when they were good... I didn't know these would be my last months with my baby..

I feel bad too that now I don't feel the same around my other dog, my boyfriend and I got him as an adult and he's such a good sweet boy too, but I don't have the same connection as I did with my baby.. Maybe it was because I got him as a pup so we had a deeper connection, I raised him and taught him everything..

Anyways I could write a novel with all the life experiences my Jerry pup has had, him and I really did do a whole lot in his 6 years, and I'd give anything to have him back or relive those 6 years with him, I miss his sounds and his snores and snorts, I miss his smell.. I loved the way he smelled.. I just miss my baby so much <\3
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Jerseyb1
I'm so sorry.  To loose him so young is an added heartbreak.  I lost my baby in January, he was only 3.  Not a day goes by the I don't think of him and miss him terribly.  He was my best friend.  I wish I had something inspirational to tell you on how to make this easier, but there truly is no way to make it easier.  Let yourself cry, let yourself grieve, don't feel like you are not supposed to, he was and still is a huge part of your life and to not have him around is a huge adjustment.  My heart goes out to you in this most difficult time.  Just know you are not alone.  There are those of us who completely understand.
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Kittypiller
Im so sorry for your loss, you did everything you could to help him and it sounds like he had a very full life in his 6 years. I umderstand what you are going through I had to have my 4 1/2 years old cat that I had raised from a newborn to sleep just before christmas, I still feel guilty at times for scolding her for messing on my bed the day before I lost her. I am here anytime you want to chat and evryone on here is very understanding. Just know that jerry is no longer in pain and is watching over his mommy. He knows you love him and always will. Again so sorry for your loss. I lit a virtual candle for your boy jerry at light-candle.com.

Ill keep you in my prayers
Bonnie
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Unleashed182
Thank you all for your kind words, understanding the love for a pet helps so much ❤️

I'm having a hard day today, I just feel so sad and so empty, so lost...
I feel like no one in my life quite understands what I'm feeling, or they think I'm over exaggerating

I keep thinking I'll see him around the house or when I was out today for a meeting I just kept thinking about how he won't be there when I get home.. It's a terrible feeling in my chest :(

I made a memorial garden for him yesterday, I planted some pretty flowers and painted some rocks for him...
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Kittypiller
What you are feeling is normal, there are lots of people on here that are going through the same thing. I understand about people not understanding I have the same problem here. People who are not experiencing what you are really cant understand. I am here anytime you want to chat and am usually up late so feel free to message me here or pm me anytime you need or want to.

Bonnie
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Unleashed182
Thank you so much kitty I've been reading your recent form, about your sweet kitty ❤️ I'm here for you as well, your stories have brought tears to my eyes..
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Kittypiller
Butters was such a sweet baby and I miss her so much. She was a very special kitty and I know she is watching over me as well as Jerry is watching over you. Its very hard to loose your fur baby and it takes time to even try to cope with your loss. Its been 3 months since Butters crossed over the bridge and its still very hard to accept shes gone. I love & miss her sooo much as Im sure you do your baby. It does help to know there are people who do understand that they were not just pets but were family. Message me anytime, Ill try my best to help even if you just need to vent or chat about your baby.


Bonnie
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ScoutsMom
My heart goes out to you. It is so hard to lose your faithful friend but it sounds as if you two had such a beautiful life and wonderful adventures together. I am so sorry your baby had to go so young. My sweet baby Scout was my first puppy and my first dog that was all mine. I lost her and my dear Banjo 5 wks ago 3 days apart. I have been a complete mess. I totally understand.
What did your Jerry look like? Post some photos if that helps you. I too am usually up late because I often have trouble sleeping at night. So post if you need to.
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