I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your dear Tom. I know how painful losing your special friend can be. I lost my cat Molly recently, she was 20 years old and had cancer. Due to Covid I couldn’t be with her At the end which was very difficult. You play over all your decisions, could I have done this differently, if I had done that, what will she be thinking that I wasn’t there.
The grief is awful and only time will ease. Just be kind to yourself and know you did everything you possibly could to help your baby. He knows he was loved, He knows you did everything you could for him. You gave him a fantastic life. It’s just so unfair our furry friends don’t live as long as we do & that we have to say goodbye.
I collected Molly’s ashes last weekend, in a way it’s comforting to have her back home. You’re not on your own and everyone on this forum knows what your going through. Take care Martin