Kyara_Snoopy
My beautiful baby boy passed away yesterday..my husband and I were away on a trip for a conference and left him with my friend who has been taking care of him since he was a puppy when we were away. He was out in the yard and apparently bit a toad and was posioned...he was passing when they got to the emergency vet

There are so many feelings..heartwrenching, stabbing pain, deep desperate cries..He was only 4! Turning 5 on May 20th. He had his whole life ahead of him!! So many things we didnt get to do...

He was my best friend, my baby, my everything, and part of every moment of my daily routine. How do I overcome this? I have no children...he was my baby. My everything and I told him this every day. I used to tell my husbad, "If Snoopy dies, I die." I just cannot believe this day came..
I havent even been able to get back home yet..
If this is how I feel now I cannot even imagine when I get home and feel the emptiness..

I do not know what to do...I feel guilt for coming on this trip.. This has been the worst thing that has ever happened to me and I do not how to deal with it..

I see soo many are feeling so much pain like me...I am not alone. Even that feels so supportive.

I was supposed to pick up our new puppy we decided to get 7 weeks ago this Saturday and now what do I do? It was supposed to be his little sister and we already had a name for her..How do I get a dog now?

I feel so lost...so alone without him. Why did this happen..how have you coped with your losses?
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jimmy17
I am so, so sorry - how very young, you must be absolutely heartbroken. Please know that you are not alone on here, everyone understands how you feel right now - the guilt, pain, and that utter devastation.   Just try and remember the 4 years of love you shared with Snoopy, although I realise that`s not much consolation at the moment.  Like you, we`ve no children and our dog Jim was the centre of our lives. He had to be put to sleep just before Christmas and I was like a zombie for the first week or two, and I still have really bad days.  Adjusting to them not being here is so hard, just try and take it a day or even hour at a time.  If you can, I think it may help to pick the new little puppy up, especially as you already have a name for her - she`ll never be a replacement for Snoopy as you were going to get her anyway. 
 I found being here on this forum such a help to me, especially during the first weeks, and I also started writing a journal - all the happier memories. and I still write in it each day, that seems to help a lot. Once again, I`m so very sorry.
                                                              Prayers and Hugs, Jackie
  
J Taylor
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Robin2003
((((Kyra)))), I am so sorry for the grief you are experiencing. The shock of it all happening so suddenly makes it all the harder to bear. I joined the group in 2013 when my dog died from CHF. She had been on heart meds for years, so although her last day came unexpectedly, I had thought about it often, so I was somewhat prepared.

But, recently, I came back to the group, because my daughter's 6 month old puppy went in for spay surgery and died during it. It was a shock - and just tore us all apart. One never believes - even when those anxieties rear their ugly heads - that our beloved fur children can be suddenly taken from us. I can only say that it is natural to grieve deeply and, for some reason, no matter what has been the cause, we find a way to feel gully. But you know that you have no reason to - try to believe that.

As for the puppy - as Jimmy's Mom said - you have named her. She is already in your hearts. You'll have a little one to nurture and talk to about Snoopy. I think that to change your minds now and not adopt her would just add to your sense of loss. She will never take away from your love of Snoopy - your hearts will expand to make room for this new little one.

My heart goes out to you in these early days of grieving. It will get easier in time. Much love to you and hoping that each week will bring a feeling of closure.
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et61
I am so sorry for your loss of your baby at only 4 years of age. I started coming to this forum as my Sweetie died unexpectantly after having him only six years. He was a stray, dumped that jumped into my car as if to say "take me home" which I did. He was healthy until his last five days when he was bit by an infected tick and spent the last days in the vets office trying to save him. Unfortunately I got the dreaded call that he passed. I still have not been able to accept his ashes. To me, losing a pet so young and unexpectantly is far worse and I know how you feel. We have no children and our pets are our "kids". A part of me died when he did. My heart hurt so bad I couldn't breathe at times. The weekend of his passing I didn't eat for 4 days and spent the weekend in bed. I hope you find some comfort here. We are all grieving over the loss of our beloved pets, no matter their age or circumstance. Please first of all do not feel guilty. This would probably have happened if you were home or not. I felt guilty for Sweetie but know that I could not control the situation - he was an inside/outside cat and I took my chances, but he loved being outdoors. Hugs to you.
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winstonsmom12
Kyara   Please accept my condolences on your loss of Snoopy.  Such a young baby.  I can only imagine your heartbreak.  I lost my Winston on 3/2/16.  It hurts everyday.  It doesn't matter what age our babies are,  their loss kills us.  This tragedy was something you never could have predicted, or stopped.  As for the new puppy, I think you should go ahead and get her.

Of course she will never replace Snoopy, but may bring you a little comfort at this time.  You and your husband will be able to go through this grief together.  There are so many stages.  Don't for a second feel guilty for going on your business trip. It was something you had to do.  My prayers are with you and your husband at this time.  Bless you both   Sue
Susan
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Sampson
Dear Kyara,
What a terrible shock for you to lose your baby so suddenly and so unexpectedly! I feel just awful for you! If you do go ahead with your new puppy know that she will not be replacing your boy. However, yo may need time to grieve before hand. I would see how you feel during the next few days before trying to think about your other puppy. Give yourself a little time to process this terribly loss before you decide. I hope you are able to feel comfortable with your decision and I'm so sorry for your loss!
S.
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Kyara_Snoopy
Hi Jackie,

Thank you for your sweet message. I am so sorry for the loss of your baby Jimmy too. I love the idea of writing a journal full of memories..I do not want to forget a thing. It is incredible how much a pet or furbaby can impact your life. I have been all of over the place between anger, denial, guilt, and sadness..seeing everyone's pain here even after months..going through the years anniversary of their baby's death made me see this is not going to go away any time soon. That scares me..as I realize the hole he left in my life will never be filled...that is just miserable..
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Kyara_Snoopy
Hi Robin,

I am so sorry for both yoir losses. Thank you for your kind words. I am trying to stay strong. As far as the puppy...I feel like it is just to soon. If maybe I had a week before I had to pick her up it may help, but this Saturday just seems way to soon. It will not even be a week since I lost him. I feel like I would be disrespecting him. And I had already plannned how I was going to introduce them..I was so excited for this new baby to share in the love with Snoopy who would be a great big brother. I had never had 2 babies before. Now it is just all so tainted by this..
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Kyara_Snoopy
Hi et61,

I am so sorry for Sweetie. Like you said..the loss being so unexpected is what makes this so much worse. I had plans for us...for him to meet our children, for him to go on trips with us, we were moving to a different state and he had never seen snow but I knew he would love it...his whole life ahead of him. He was supposed to have at least 10 more years with me. He only lived 1/3 of his life..he had so much love to give. It is so unfair! I dont understand why..over a toad.. I am coming back home today and I still cannot bear the thought of him not being there.
I feel as if I had not come on this trip none of this would ever happen.
I took such good care of him...I wanted him to live a long healthy life
Sorry for my ranting..
Thank you for your message
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Kyara_Snoopy
Hi Sampson,

Thank you for your message...I definitely agree with you. It is just way to soon..I cannot give some other baby love yet. The arrival of her to out home should be a joyful one..not a sad one. I do not want to compare her to him. I almost dislike that she is a female now...when I loved my boy so much.

I do not know if I should wait and just not get this baby (which I feel we already love since we have seen pictures of her growing up) or get her but in a few weeks instead since not doing so may feel like a loss as well as someone mentioned..

So torn...so much sadness..I do not know how I can go on without his love in my life
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Kyara_Snoopy
Hi Sue,

Thank you for your response. It is so hard not to feel guilty. His friend invited him to this all expense trip to a conference because his wife couldnt go and he invited me to tag alone since I had never been to Vegas. Vegas for God sakes. I feel like I should have been somewhere else...closer. I feel so guilty for "tagging along". Like we should have said no and not come. Or at least me. He would still be with my cuddling on my lap..

How do you bear the loss...some people still are suffering after months..I mean Ive never gone through anything like this.
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camunki
hi Kyara, so sorry for the loss of your Snoopy, and I do know its harder to lose a dog at such a young age, as I did my Dakota she was only 4 1/2 years old, I felt like she was jilted out of life. She had numerous health conditions that did not get better in the 6 week period and I had to do the worst.

Please know, you are already grieving and adding guilt into the picture just makes it worse. I know the next days, weeks and months will be hard. I lost my baby Munki last Dec 3rd and I still cry everyday. I had to take 3 sick days off from work when I put her to sleep, cuz i could not function. I have her ashes, blankets that i won't wash that she slept on, a little bit of fur..i keep all this for fond memories. I still haven't even put her bowl away, its still on the counter.

And as Jimmys owners said, do some journaling......I do, I am on day 150 ish right now, I jot all my feelings down and it truly helps.

As for your new puppy, please go thru with it........He will never replace your Snoopy but you can add a bit of joy, a bit of love back into your life. I rescued a pup back on Feb 20th and the pup Rosalyn has brought so much love into my home, never to replace my Munki but just to extend the love that i have for animals.



Cam


 
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Eddiesmom
So tragic, I am sorry.  It is harder, I think, when losing them in their prime or even younger...it's hard always but I think especially so in this way.  People have to choose their own path as far as getting another pet or not.  I have done it both ways and for me filling that awful, gut wrenching hole with a new dog that keeps you busy really did help me.  It is far to hard with no pet for me.  You will never replace Snoopy but maybe this is the way it was meant to be that she could comfort you in some manner and that bond of going through this together will be strong.  I too have always gotten the opposite sex as you don't compare as much.  It's not good to compare of course they are all so individual but, for me, having the opposite sex helped.  I'm so sorry you have to go through this but it is not your fault, you could never foresee something like this happening.
Sue E
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elliemeewiz
I'm so sorry for the tragic loss of your Snoopy.. I can't imagine the devastation of something like that... I normally wouldn't recommend it but I think if you were planning to adopt the girl puppy I would just go ahead with that as planned if you feel able to. It may help you in your grieving process. There is nothing I can say to take away your pain and shock but know of course that you're not a lone. We are all grieving here too and we're here to help to and to listen to whatever feelings and thoughts you have. 

I only have one  experience of losing a young furbaby-  my Arthur, who turned out to be a girl, disappeared one day, she was an indoor/outdoor cat and I felt very, very guilty about letting her out that day because she seemed not as excited to go out as usual. She was a very tough cat. She was indoor/outdoor.  Although I adopted her as a tiny kitten, she had a feral mom and for some reason she never became completely tame, I was the only one who could even pick her up and I have a scratch scar on my hand from her from years ago. I loved her a great deal though- we had a special bond. I remember the night I came back from a trip from Europe and picked her up from my friends who had been taking care of her- she had tried to bite my friend's husband when he made her an omlette, lol. and she was SOOO happy to see me and slept by my head all night purring.  

We later found out that our next door neighbor had put their dog to sleep at this time- they said because he had bitten their son, but we thought he killed my Arthur, and they never told us which is awful. We searched for her for a month, checked shelters etc. but we never found her. I eventually adopted Tess at one of the shelters and she healed me and became the love of my life cat. I used to call Arthur, Arthie.. I miss her still and still feel guilty. She was only about 1 year old at the time she went missing. 

Just remember that it is normal to feel guilt, it is something we have to process with grief, but Snoopy loved you and he wouldn't want you to feel guilt or to feel bad. I think what happened is pretty unusual and it could have happened even if you were at home with him.
My beloved sweet Tess August 1999 - February 21 2001
My beloved loyal Byron March 1998 - April 28 2008
My sweet beloved girlie Angelina April 2001- September 2012
Me & my sweet beloved Wizberry forever 1998- April 21, 2016
My sweet beloved Snow Goddess Sybil girlie April 2001- May 11,2018
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