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josie

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I put him down on Sat morn on March 27,2010. I regret doing this and I am so depressed. I miss him and feel as if there is no reason to go on without him. I am mad at myself, I should have waited and tried to hold on. I feel like I will not be able to allow myself to be happy again there is no other Shorty. He was unique and special and I killed him. How can I go on without him. I can't change the past. I feel awful. He got diagnosed with diabetes in Jan after two months of trying to get his diabetes under control,he still was peeing on the floor and then, he lost his eye sight. I was scheduled for surgey on April 1. I would not be able to bend over or walk him for 6 wks. I was afraid I could not care for him and the expenses were mounting. I dropped him off and left him there I did not stay I couldn't. I should have stayed I may not have gone through with it. He trusted me to come back for him.Now it's been 5 weeks.I went back to the doc on may 4 and he says you can do everthing now. I can take care of you now shorty but you are not here and I feel so guilty, sad and depressed. Can anyone help me forgive myself.

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denise631

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Josie, I know you are feeling very guilty and sick over your decision to end Shortys suffering. The thing you should try to think about is that Shorty is healthy and whole again playing in Gods gardens, waiting for the day you will be reunited. When we have pets we are all faced with the reality of their short lives and that some day we may need to make the extremely difficult decision to end their suffering. Even if you had been well yourself and had financially been able to take the steps to treat Shorty, he still may have been suffering. Animal lovers do everything we can to keep our beloved pets with us for as long as we can but sometimes it's not whats best for our pet and we do it because we can't bare to be without them.  I lost one of my dogs in this past December. I had to make that dreaded decision. My mom had told me he was holding on for me and I knew he was. Deciding when to put your pet to rest is a personal one but I read somewhere someone described the moment they new it was time was when they looked into their dogs eyes but the lights were out. Meaning, he was tired and ready even though I was not. I did it for him. Allow yourself to grieve but also find peace in your heart.  
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Rick530

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Josie,
 Please know that Shorty is in a better place now. He is strong and feeling great, running and playing. I'm sure him and my lil Mr. Cash have become friends. He does not hold any ill feelings tword you, Only love, and ALLOT of it.

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josie

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Thank you Denise and Rick. It hard and an empty road without them. Thank you for your compassionate responses,  I really mean it.

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Rick530

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Your welcome Josie. I am right with you dealing with our own loss. Life just dosent seem to be as good now....


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JoeysMom

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Josie~
You didn't kill him; you released him from suffering and pain. We should be as compassionate to humans who have to endure disease and terminal sickness without the benefit of euthanasia.
Animals have a great ability to mask their suffering as to not look weak to predators. You gave Shorty a gift, and I'm sure it was the right decision, not matter how painful. I spent thousands and thousands of dollars to try to save Joey, and the end result was still the same. I was there at the end with Joey so I can tell you that Shorty had a peaceful passing. Please take comfort in the fact that now he is pain-free.

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josie

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Reply with quote  #7 

Thanks Joeys Mom No matter  how we lose our dogs if by illness or accident or natural death he is still gone. I am sorry for your loss. This hurts so much. 

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damselfly1213

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Josie, of course you're in pain over this. You had to make the best decision you could at the time. It's not fair to look back from where you are now - recovered from surgery - and think you should have acted differently...I can understand because I, too, had great difficulty managing my Lucy's care. Trying to care for a seriously ill or injured pet when you're ill or can't lift, bend, or reach - sometimes, it's just not possible. Have you tried speaking with Shorty's spirit? And telling him how much you love him and the difficulty you were having? I certainly understand why you felt you had to make that decision, and I'm sure Shorty would understand, too. Plus, you were so pressured and anguished back then you really didn't get a chance to say goodbye to him. I think it would help to say a peaceful goodbye to him now. Shorty will find a way to get a message of understanding and forgiveness to you, because our furbabies love us better than we love ourselves.

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tinahailey

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Reply with quote  #9 

Hey there, I know what you are feeling. I had to put my boy down in dec 2009 two weeks before christmas, it has been 5 months 3 days, I cry everyday for him. Today I took my frist walk with out my best friend by my side. I know what I did for D.O.G.BLUE was the right decission, he had a tuber in his colon and was unable too poop. I was with him when they gave him the shot, I still see him close his eyes and stop breathing. I could see in his eye the pain he was in, I spend a lot of money trying fix him, but there was nothing we could do. The colon is a very hard area to do surgerey on for animal, he could stuffer more had a we done the surgerey...... I went thru the thoughts of did I kill him, could I have waited, could i done more. Today I know we made the right dission ...... In time you too will reliazie that you made the right dission too. Give your self the time too moor but keep in heart that he is not stuffing anymore, and that he love you and will be there happy and waiting for you when it is your time. For now know that he is your ANGEL IN THE HEAVENS WATCHING OVER YOU. 


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MagzMom

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Reply with quote  #10 
Josie,

You put Shorty's wellbeing in front of your own.  It is the hardest decision that I made for my Maggie.  I second guessed myself, beat myself up about it, probably always will.  In my heart of hearts I know, I couldn't bear to watch her suffer and lose more of herself everyday, putting on a brave face for me while she suffered in silence.  It would have been selfish of me to keep her around with me for one more day, or week or month.  I loved her too much to let her ever hurt...and you loved your Shorty the same.  As much as it hurts missing them, it would hurt more to know you let them suffer for one second longer than they had to.  I don't think there isn't one of us here that hadn't had those exact same thoughts as you are having.  Please try to find some peace, I am trying, some days I succeed and some days I sob my heart out, but in the end we all have to accept and remember the good things and hopefully find some smiles amongst the tears.  I hope that one day for all of us the tears still come, but that the smiles come more. 
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donnalee

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Reply with quote  #11 

Yes, Josie, they've all said it so beautifully, you definitely didn't kill Shorty.   I had to put my beautiful Scottie to sleep 3 weeks ago and I actually regret allowing the animal hospitals to run so many tests on him.  There is a point we have to let them go even though we don't want to.  With my vet's blessing, we kept trying different medications yet my dog's life just kept getting worse by the day.   I truly think you did the right thing by letting him go.  Please listen to those people who wrote you....they had some very wise words for you!   The loss of our beloved pet is just very difficult and painful for all of us but you need not feel guilty.   

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