It's been two weeks since I lost my kitty Sugar. It's still hard to say those words, it makes it seem more real. I miss him more than the world. Life has been finally starting to return to normal and my anxiety is starting to calm. But whenever I'm alone a deep sadness sets in. I know this is the grieving process, but oh it's so hard, especially when they were your true heart animal. I start flipping through pictures, vigorously trying to remember every detail of him, as if I could somehow make him more real again. And then it hits, when I see his beautiful face that he no longer exists here on Earth. 

9 years ago I got Sugar and Spice at a rescue as tiny kittens. After my cat had passed I fell in love with Spice's big eyes online. When we got there, they told us they had two brothers. I remember being in that waiting room with two babies running around chasing each other. Of course, they both came home. Sugar was the first born and such a character. It took years for Spice to develop the deep devotion he has for my family now, but Sugar was always a people person. My entire family agrees he is the best cat we've ever had in our lives. He was more like a dog, greeting people at the door and demanding love from every guest. He had the greatest quirks, from knocking down anything he could, allowing us to vacuum him, and wanting to help out anyone doing housework. He was also our lap cat, always ready for a purr and snuggle. 

Both of them have had major constipation issues, probably a result of being rescued from a hoarding situation and either not eating properly/not raised by their mother/etc. Sugar has been on and off sick his entire life, but whenever he was able to "get it out" he was his crazy self again. He's been on many foods, solutions, and once had to be put under to help him empty out his colon. But this time it was different. Unfortunately, I was not out of town. My family took him to the vet when he was uncomfortable, but the vet could not put him under due to him being too lethargic. He prescribed a last resort drug, one that would likely hurt the rest of his body. Two hours after returning home, before even taking the medicine, he passed naturally, probably due to his colon bursting. By the grace of God he didn't have to suffer taking the medicine that could maybe slightly prolong his life.

Sorry for the length of this. But it's hard. I came home to an emptier house. When I said goodbye, I didn't know it was goodbye forever. I have his brother who I love dearly, but they were always "my boys", "my brothers", "Sugar and Spice". Spice finally seems to be getting back to his old self, but he was confused at first. They were together every second of every day and it's been hard to detach my image of them. They squished into a way too small bed, laying on top of each other every night. It pains me every time I go to bed and don't see them together. It pains me that they'll never bathe eachother again, never play fight again..

I just miss him. And when I hear the lifespan of a cat being more like 15 years, it honestly makes me mad. Why did my boy get the short end of the stick. When his illness wasn't bothering him, he was perfectly healthy! He never showed signs of age. It's just hard when we want our babies around for as long as possible. I know for his condition he had a good life, and now he doesn't have to suffer again. But boy, what I would kill for my goofball. What I'd do to wake up in the night and find he decided to lay directly on top of my face...
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I am so sorry for your loss.  Your kitties are beautiful.  I lost my cat who was only 11 yrs old; how I wanted him to live many more years.  I know you loved Sugar and gave him the best life possible. I think a part of me hasn’t said goodbye; I know my sweet Molly will be in my heart forever,  I hope the days will get easier for you and Spice.
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I'm so sorry for your loss too, and I identify with everything you're feeling. Love the photo of your Sugar and Spice, and also reading about how you rescued them, and about their cute, quirky habits. I hope that you and Spice are comforting each other, and that you're finding comfort sharing your memories and feelings about Sugar here. Sending love...
Cindy (Buddy’s mama)
My baby Buddy 5/4/10-3/7/20, rescued March 2011
My sweet Mandy 11/27/91-11/2/10, rescued November 1992
My beautiful Barney 4/28/73-9/7/92, adopted May 1973
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I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost a white cat named sugar years ago. She was a great cat. I just lost my dog Zack to bone cancer last Thursday and I am heartbroken. It’s so hard to lose a pet. 💔
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I am so sorry you lost sweet Sugar. What beautiful kitties. The amazing love you have for Sugar comes through in every word you wrote. I can truly identify with the pain you're feeling; I lost my beautiful Amy 2 weeks ago today, and I've hardly been able to function. It is the hardest thing in the world, to lose a pet,isnt it? I truly am sorry for your loss of Sugar. ❤️
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