cindy33
I keep finding myself going online and searching the local rescues and shelters for a dog of the same breed, color and age of mine that recently passed away. Then I found one. After I found it, I started thinking hard about why I wanted it and what the outcome might be. It's not so much that I want another pet right now (we already have another dog, a cat and a hamster) but that I'm trying to bring back the one we lost and a look-a-like won't bring him back. I think all it will do is give me a new dog (which we are animal lovers, don't get me wrong) but it will still leave me with the same void that I have now from the one we lost. I just miss him so much...

Has anyone else gone through this type of thinking?
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Kaz01
Hi Cindy33, I was thinking of getting a new dog, but I think if you do you should not get one that looks like the one that you lost, and I'm sorry for your loss. Just because it won't act like the one that passed, and you might reject the dog, which wouldn't be fair to the new dog or yourself.

Karen
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MurphysMom_0831
I've been going through it since shortly after losing the love of my life, my Golden Retriever Murphy, on June 18. Back in March I got an 8-week-old Golden Retriever puppy I named Spencer to be Murphy's companion. I thought they would have a few years together as Murphy was just 9-3/4 years old. Unfortunately they only had 3 months. It took me a few months to feel the time was right to bring another dog into our lives as a companion for both Spencer and me. I work from home, Spencer goes to daycare so I can work, and Murphy was with me 24/7/365. However, I too find myself looking for dogs that resemble Murphy. Spencer just turned 1-year-old and is dark red while Murphy was a medium golden blonde. There will never, ever be a dog who would or could replace Murphy, not even Spencer, but I've come to the realization that the mannerisms, quirks, constant happiness and beauty of, in my case a Golden Retriever, is something I can never be without. It's been impossible so far to find a Golden at least 3 years old where I live (I can't do any more puppies), but I keep looking, and have even tried adopting other breeds but none of them worked out for various reasons, and the Golden Retriever rescues in my state do not service my area for the required home visits. I truly feel Murphy will help me find another when the time and the dog are right. The horrible void will always be there, but my belief is that new memories can be created that keep reminding us of the ones we love and miss so terribly. Having Spencer and this forum are no doubt what has saved me throughout the most unbearably awful experience of my entire life.

I wish you the very best.

Murphy's Mom (Kathryn)
"Sometimes there is a dog who is so special, he is able to wrap himself so completely around your heart it is impossible to tell where you begin and he ends."  For My Beloved Murphy, 08/31/2004 - 06/18/2014


http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MURPH121/Resident.htm


http://s327.photobucket.com/user/kathrynbrown1626/library/?sort=6&page=1
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cindy33
Kaz01 wrote:
... you should not get one that looks like the one that you lost, and I'm sorry for your loss. Just because it won't act like the one that passed, and you might reject the dog, which wouldn't be fair to the new dog or yourself. Karen


I know what you are saying and I agree. I just miss him so bad and want him back.
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cindy33
Thank you for your kind words, Murphy's Mom (Kathryn). I hope you find that Golden soon.
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TimTam
I lost my Tammy six months ago today.I was looking at rescue dogs because I thought my other dog Chloe needed to have a mate.Tammy and Chloe were inseperable for twelve years.I got to the point of talking to the rescue groups but then I would get panic attacks.I just cant do it.I dont know what it is that is holding me back-I dont think I will ever be ready.Maybe one day.Like you I just want my Tammy back.
Julie
Being without you takes a lot of getting used to.
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cindy33
I just have this overwhelming feeling to get another just like him so I can have him back. And I don't mean the same breed I mean literally the same color, breed, size and age. But I know it won't be him! I feel almost crazy thinking that way. I just want him back so badly I feel like I'm not thinking straight.
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SouthernBelle
cindy33 wrote:
I keep finding myself going online and searching the local rescues and shelters for a dog of the same breed, color and age of mine that recently passed away. Then I found one. After I found it, I started thinking hard about why I wanted it and what the outcome might be. It's not so much that I want another pet right now (we already have another dog, a cat and a hamster) but that I'm trying to bring back the one we lost and a look-a-like won't bring him back. I think all it will do is give me a new dog (which we are animal lovers, don't get me wrong) but it will still leave me with the same void that I have now from the one we lost. I just miss him so much...

Has anyone else gone through this type of thinking?


I just lost my sweet boy two days ago, and am doing and feeling exact same as you described.
I keep saying I just want him back so bad.
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SouthernBelle
I just lost my 15 year old cat, Timber two days ago. I am beyond devastated. I thought i was doing ok, until I came home and saw his little paw prints on my glass top table. I am so depressed I almost think I am losing it. I just don't even want to be here without him.
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Mistysmama
I honestly think this might be a natural stage of grieving. When we miss someone so much we are geared up to look for them, seek them out, and might even sometimes think we see them in the street randomly....etc. We look for any reminders, or reinforcement of their existence.

I had that thing briefly a while after my girl passed. I saw a dog (a famous dog) who reminded me of her with his mannerisms and somewhat similar -though not exactly -in the way he looked. He was in another country, and in a very strange political situation. It would have been impossible to adopt him! But he kept reminding me of Misty!

I then had a dream about that dog. That the people who had kidnapped him gave him to me. Yes I was glad he was out of that situation. And in the dream what struck me was how DIFFERENT he was to Misty! Although none of that helped that real dog in that terrible situation, it did show me something personal.
We can never find that replica of the one who has gone to spirit. We have to start afresh with a new relationship with a completely different Soul who still needs some love. Or we have to love the ones who have passed, in spirit, get used to their new 'invisible self' and make do with that until we are re-united. Or maybe sometimes we can do both at the same time!
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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