Hello everyone,
I lost my wonderful dog Tequila almost 3 weeks ago. He was a 12 year old labrador that I got as a child, and has been my best friend and a wonderful companion throughout the years. A couple weeks ago he started developing degenerative myelopathy and couldn't move his back legs anymore. He used to be such a happy dog, always running around and eating as much as he could, and it was devastating to see him struggle to get up or even just change positions when lying down. We got him a harness to help him walk, and we were going to order a dog wheelchair for him. But then something terrible happened during our last walk: he tried getting up on his own, lost his balance and injured himself badly in his fall. He was crying in pain and shaking and the image of that has been stuck in my head on repeat for the last few weeks. We took him to the vet to be put down, as his pain had become unbearable for him: our whole family was there, I watched in shock as the vet injected the deadly product in his veins, and he died in my arms. 
I have not been sleeping well at all since, the traumatic images of his last days and final moments just keeps replaying in my head. When does this get easier? He is my first pet, I had never experienced such a loss before.  
We had him cremated and received the ashes yesterday, which was also traumatic. It is so incredibly difficult to think that the animal that I have loved and cuddled and played with for so many years is now just a pile of ash in a carton box. Maybe I should have insisted on burying him instead.
I also feel like it was my fault somehow, like I should have been more careful on that walk where he fell and injured himself, and I should have been quicker in taking him to the vet once the pain started. I'm so scared that he spent his last hours in pain because of me. 
Now you're gone, my boy, and I miss you so very, very, very much. Losing you was unthinkable, and now the unthinkable has happened. I will love you forever.
I'm sorry about this very long paragraph guys, I just needed to get it off my chest. It's good to see that there are other people who understand that a dog (or any other pet) is not an accessory, but a best friend and a family member. 
RIP Tequila, we all love you so much. 
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I'm so sorry for your loss. Handsome boy! Think about all the memories you shared together, happy ones. Think of all the years you guys had fun together...write about it, lit a candle,talk to him ,cry all you have to it helps.put flowers next to his urn. The love will never end ,he's with you spiritually. Know that your baby knew how much he was loved ,and he knew you did what you could for him. It does take time to heal,but it's only natural..all the love we had for our fur babies and will never fade. I hope you find comfort in all the memories you shared with your fur baby. I wish you peace and healing. Take care ,don't be so hard on yourself, we do the best we can..
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What a beautiful dog! I'm so sorry for your loss. It must've been a heartbreaking decision to have him put down. 

I'm not sure if you're familiar, but I've been reading that acupuncture often works for degenerative myelopathy. I was quite surprised by how effective this treatment could be...I don't know if you have other dogs, but perhaps this could be an option for you in the future. I understand your pain and loss as I'm going through something similar...it's after my dog passed away that I began diligently researching all the available treatments that could've been done for her and it breaks my heart that I didn't do so. 
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Wow, what a beautiful lab.  My 13 year old lab also had hip issues and at the end had a very hard time getting up, but the vet told me not to stop taking her on short walks as it helps with the joints and what you did by taking Tequila on walks I think was ok.  I know I blame myself for all the things I could have done better but that doesn’t help us any.  Just like Tequila, my baby girl loved to run and play until she couldn’t anymore.  My lab will always be my best friend, more loyal than any person I know.  I miss her just like you miss Tequila and I know that will never go away for me, but it shows how much I loved her and always will.  
M moore
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Thank you so much for all the kind answers guys, it really does mean a lot <3 It's nice to feel understood. And yes, my doggo was one beautiful boy, popular with the ladies! 
I've set an altar for him, with his urn, his collar, flowers, candles, pictures and drawings of him <3 He always deserved the very best. And it's good to have a place in the house to be with him, to feel him there, so I can talk to him, cry a river of tears, and remember our happy times together. 
I'm also so sorry for your losses, I know the terrible, deep pain that any owner feels when having to say goodbye to our friends. They'll always be in our hearts, our minds, and our memories. 
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