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laurney

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Reply with quote  #1 
His name is Shareef. I named him after The Clash's "Rock the Casbah". Its arabic for "One who does no wrong." He was the best cat I could have ever asked for. He was so sweet and loving. I'm just so heartbroken and have this huge void in my heart. I really need some advice on how to cope with his loss.

His heart stopped beating and he stopped breathing last night around midnight. I went to visit him at the veterinary hospital and discovered he was in such bad shape and I didn't feel like this vet was doing enough for him. He was bleeding from his mouth and his body temperature was dropping, his kidney values hadn't gone down, distressed breathing. All I wanted was for him to hold on until I could get him to a specialist the next day but we decided to immediately take him to another practice with specialists to see if we could save his life. It was too late. Even though the vet was down the street he arrested when we got in the car and went limp in my arms. I ran into the new veterinary hospital who I had spoken to earlier with a limp cat in my arms crying hysterically. They resussitated him but couldn't keep his heart beating and he couldn't breathe on his own. Eventually we had to let him go after three arrests. I'm devistated and I'm angry. I feel like the vet I had him at was incapable of taking care of a cat with crf or arf (chronic or acute renal failure) and should have let us know this before we invested so much time and money into their practice and for the sake of my cats life reccomend someone who can save him. They pumped him full of so much fluids at the first hosptial for kidney failure that his lungs filled with fluid and blood. They kept saying he was spitting up fluid because of "mouth ulcers." The other vet offered me an ultrasound and diagnostics since they believed he was too young for his kidneys to fail. I feel like I called the new vet too late. If I could have just done things differently my kitty could have had a chance. I basically had to research the disease myself and suggest options to the vet. I felt like I had to be the doctor.

I feel angry, guilty, sad and poor. I cant eat, all I want to do is sleep, my heart hurts. I love Shareef so much. He was like my son. Now he's gone and I'm just a wreck. Somebody please help me.

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rneuner64

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Reply with quote  #2 
I have an idea how you are feeling right now, two years ago we lost our cat Nickle to kidney problems...all the time that we spent at the vet they never said there was any real problems, but then he just started urinating all over the house and would not stop so we took him back to the vet and after a urine test we were told to rush right over to the Emergency Vet clinic. there i was told that in order for nickle to survive he had to undergo dialysis on a monthly basis which would cost at the least 3K...really hard to see that there would be any quality of life for my little guy, i made the most heart crushing decision i ever had to make and that was to put him down.

Trust me, i was so pissed at the vet that i considered a lawsuit but after time went by my anger subsided and i remembered more of the good times with my buddy and that i still had his brother helped. I really cannot say anything except that i am sorry for your loss and that you came to the right place, there is a lot of good info here to help you work thru your grieving and anger as well as others who have gone thru similar pains....

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niki

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Posts: 136
Reply with quote  #3 
I am so sorry to read your letter, it is just totally unbearable i know, today i got back a little box with my baby cat's ashes in, she passed away on valentines day, MINT a little 13 yr old girl-black, i miss her sooooo..
it is so shocking to think i wont see her again,
i hope that your pain can ease, somehow, it helps to share
great name by the way, great band
be strong, somehow, you are not alone
niki8buvs
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Goobiesbf

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Reply with quote  #4 
I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your wonderful and beloved Shareef.  Just try to hang on.  The depth of your grief reflects the height of the love you had for him.  Cry.  Sob.  Whatever it takes.  It's OK.  The guilt, the anger, the should have's, the could have's, the what if's, the immense sadness and the overwhelming sense of loss are all spinning around in you right now.  It's so painful.  Not eating well, not sleeping soundly and not being able to focus and concentrate are all part of it.  Little by little, day by day it begins to settle down.  It doesn't go away.  It changes.  It becomes less raw and less painful.

My Goobie's been gone 16 days and today, for the first time, I sat at the computer to work on some projects and was able to settle down and concentrate on my work. It felt really good to be able to forget the world for a couple of hours. Then, in the late afternoon,  I stood up and took a step away from the machine to go fill the hummingbird feeders like I do every afternoon before their evening feeding frenzy and automatically said "Time to feed the Hummers, Goobie".... and I completely fell apart.  I had to take a grief break.  One of the few all-out sob-fests I still have each day but not as many as I had every hour of every day the first week he was gone.

Reading this messageboard saved me during that first horrible week because, even though I didn't write in, I felt connected to others who understood what I was feeling and why.  I learned that I didn't have to be afraid of what I was feeling even though it felt like it was going to kill me.

If you need to write again, please do.  People you've never met but who know how you feel will always write back.  It's not a real hug but it comes awfully close to it.
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carverman

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Reply with quote  #5 

Dear Laurney.

I am so sorry for your loss. I know also what it's like in the last few days for a CRF cat with my Boots.

I couldn't seem to do the subQ thing with him as he was uncomfortable with the needle and the fluid, so I took him into the vets to get them to do it.
They put 200ml into a small cat and he was so uncomfortable and couldn't seem to find a position to lie in. He cried out to
me and I panicked and called the vet asking what to do.
The vet just asked questions over the phone but didn't offer
any real help for him.  Finally, his bladder blockage released
and he was able to go..poor little guy! I told him that I would
never subject him to that treatment again.  He lasted about
14 days and then went toxic and I had to finally do the right thing and let him pass.

I'm still grieving for him and I know you will be for a long while as well for
your precious one.  I tried just about everything I could afford
with the vets in the last 2 months, but nothing seemed to
work for very long. In the end my little guy started to go toxic
and I knew it was time to take him in. He was so weak even though he put up a good fight for several months but time had run out on him on Feb 24th.  They say cats are supposed to have 9 lives, but if that were true, then they could just
continue to be with us on the next one..perhaps it's more to
do with spiritual lives.  I'm hoping that there was a child in
Heaven that needed a little cat to play with and God recalled
your precious one like he did mine.
Daniel

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