pippahk
Today I lost my old girl Border Collie at 12 years of age. She suffered from a stroke and it was decided that she were to be euthanised. I'm at a loss of words, inconsolable and full of grief. I don't know what to do and I am breaking down at every moment. I couldn't even hold myself up when taking a shower earlier due to crying.
She has been in my life since I was eight years old and this is the first loss I have ever had to experience and I just cannot do it. I feel full of guilt for reasons beyond my control (like, why didn't I take her for a walk that morning? why wasn't I in the room with her when she was put to sleep? she probably needed me with her but I couldn't do it, but I wish I did now.) I'm feeling absolutely awful about everything and I just want her back here with me. 

Someone please tell me this gets easier? Because right now I just can't cope one bit. She was the most beautiful, loving, loyal dog and I don't know how to live my life without her in it :(
Quote 0 0
Little_Girls_Mom
I know exactly how you feel...it does get better and easier to accept....but, for me it is taking one day at a time and one step at a time.

It isn't going to be easy at all because of the love and bond you two shared. I lost my "Little Girl", my cat of 14 yrs.,it's been a month since I had her put to sleep and I am still crying and grieving.

I know how you ache and how deep your grief is..unbearable!! You want them back right now and forever more. Life just isn't the same. I know what you are going through and everyone on this site is probably going through this or has gone through this very heartbreaking ordeal.

I regret not waiting longer to take my cat in to put her to sleep. She had early stages of lung cancer and was having difficulty breathing at times. I wish I had stopped the process and took her home to be with me a little longer...no matter how much time she had left.

I keep playing the same "wish I had done that" scenes in my mind over and over again. I feel so guilty. I think we all second guess what we could have or should have done differently. But we can't go back and save them or do anything differently.

It sort of eats away at your soul because things are so much clearer to us now of what we could have done differently or what we should have done. We all go through it I think to some degree.

Try to find some support and certainly, you have all our support here. People are so very kind here and understand how hard this is losing your best buddy, your soul  mate! 

My prayers are with you I'm sure, everyone's support here.

Little Girl's Mom



 
 

Quote 0 0
Lana
Dear Pippahk,

So sorry for your loss, I know it must be a tremendous one for you.  I lost my dog Maggie 6 days ago, it was so very hard, I felt physically sick for days.

I was reading about the stages of grief trying to understand more of what I was experiencing and "guilt" is always on the list.  I have read a lot of stories since finding this website and guilt is mentioned quite often.  Please try to be gentle with yourself at this incredibly difficult time.  You dear friend knew you loved her and you did everything you could for her.

We forge an intense bond with our beloved pets and their passing is an excruciating loss.  My loss is still very new so I am still not certain how to get through each day without thinking Maggie should still be here and crying when I accept that she is not.

This website is a good place for you to be.  You will find many wonderful people, all who have experienced a great loss and understand your pain.  The words of comfort I have received here have really helped.

I will pray for you and hope that some sort or peace and comfort will come your way very soon.

Lana
Quote 0 0
LG
Hi Pippahk,
    I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you during this very difficult time. I lost my sweet dog, Chili, in late April, and am still struggling with her loss. It is devastating when we are so bonded with our fur children. They truly are a part of us. It feels as if a piece of us is ripped away, even when we know that our babies are no longer suffering and are enjoying the beauty and peace of Rainbow Bridge.

I understand the feelings of guilt. Even when your head knows you could not fix your baby, give back quality of life, it is so, so hard to be the one who makes that dreaded decision. Yet, maybe because we love them so, are so devoted to them, no one else could make the decision for selfless reasons, with only our baby's best interests at heart. I think, though, that perhaps perspective comes only with time...

Pippahk, please know that the people here on this forum understand how heartbroken you feel. This truly is a wonderful place to come. We all help each other and grief together.

I am sending you warm thoughts for comfort and peace tonight.

Sincerely,
Lauren (LG)

Quote 0 0
heartsick

 

 Your sweet girl is still with you and she will always be with you.
Grief is the very worst pain there is. Since you barely remember your life without your sweet girl in it this is like a punch in the soul. We all know those gut racking sobs that we don't even know we are making until they stop when we stop for breath. It takes a long time for it to stop feeling as though someone reached in and tore out your heart through your eyeballs. It usually takes the whole first year of "firsts" without our babies to take a true deep breath again.
I can promise you this -
It does get easier - not better - but easier.

I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet precious baby girl.

 

Grief is awful and there is nothing else like this pain.

I am divorced - when I was married I buried my son- at that time I became a Certified Grief Counselor- I used the same graveside service for my Bear as I did for my son.

Please know that when we lose someone we love we don't stop loving them -

 LOVE NEVER DIES.

The soul bound connection that is between our babies and ourselves is forever.

Nothing - not death- tears -grief - or sadness will ever break the ties between us for those ties are made of LOVE so strong that NOTHING will ever sever those connections.

LOVE NEVER DIES.

When we grieve for those we love it is because we do not quite know how to live without them. We breathe because we have no choice but the living part takes a huge amount of learning and time.

Grief is not something we get over but something that we learn -slowly- over time- to incorporate into our lives until it becomes a part of us like our bones and our breath.

Please know that we all understand here and we are all here for you.

We are all in this together and all walking the same roller coaster path of grief together -

some a bit ahead of you, some by your side, and some will come behind for you to help along.

Grief takes time. It usually takes the whole first year of “firsts” without them to take a true deep breath again. Be kind to yourself. None of this is easy.

I am here for you.

We are all here for you and we care about you and we understand.

You Are In My Thoughts.                                      

Susan(heartsick)

 

 

Quote 0 0